Life returned to some normalcy this week.
Daniel worked Tuesday-Thursday.  Today was his regular E.D.O. - earned day off.
Caylea had physiotherapy this afternoon and declared to us that she is experiencing some return of feeling and sensation beneath her armpit after these months of therapy!  Praise the Lord!
Walter had several meetings and a trip to city hall with regard to the wood shop rebuild this week.
So I took the opportunity to take a roadtrip to Weyburn to visit my Grandma Cecile Rasmussen.  I phoned first and showed up around 1 pm yesterday afternoon.  She was just putting lunch on the table for my Auntie Janet and her granddaughter, Brooklyn.  I had grabbed a Tim Horton's coffee and breakfast sandwich before leaving Regina but walking in to Grandma's house made me immediately hungry!  It was a lovely lunch, visit and the chance to see a couple of the relatives I have in Weyburn.  Grandma even brought out a beautifully crocheted tablecloth that her mother (my Great-Grandma Lena Kwasnicki) had made.  Each visit is precious because of what I learn from Grandma and because I know she is 91 and who knows how many visits I will have with her?  Just as I was about to leave Grandma's, another aunt dropped by so with a quick hug and brief greetings, it was nice to make connection.

I must say, after the busy pace of Christmas and the events of the season, a drive in southern Saskatchewan was a peaceful and reflective time for me.  I played worship music and would pause it just to pray.  Wide open fields and the huge blue expanse of sky refreshed my soul.  Even the pace of traffic in Weyburn made life seem to slow down and become more manageable.  

On the way home, I simply replayed the conversations and prayed some more for my family and for whatever came to mind.  As I drove, the sun was lowering in the western sky.  The shadows lengthened along the fields that were barely covered in snow.  Stubble showed through in many spots.  A snowy owl perched regally on a power pole along the secondary highway near Cedoux.  Seeing a creature of God's amazing design always revives my spirits.

As I turned onto highway 33, I cranked up a Paul Overstreet CD and sang as loud as I wanted!  

I got home to a dark house but soon three of us were gathered to have a simple taco salad supper.  

It was a good day!

"But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."~ Luke 2:19
After a big event, my family would always rehash the day.  We would talk about the people there, the fun times, the highlights, what we ate, and at Christmas, what presents we had received!
Mary, the mother of Jesus, did much the same thing, except on an inward, introspective level.  Mary must have pondered the shepherds' visit, of course.  She must have marveled at the angelic visit to them, and the visitations she and Joseph experienced.  Her mind must have mulled over the significance of this Child she had just given birth to: the conversations, the highlights, the difficulties and what would happen from this moment on...
Not just the events, but the emotions Mary felt must have been swirling through her heart.  A young girl, first-time mother, away from home and family, in an animal shelter with her new husband - her heart must have been full.   That she "treasured" the events and the emotions is an indication of her deep and mature faith in her God.  Most of us would have been overwhelmed, anxious, and ready to run from the insecurity and instability of the circumstances.
But Mary let God be in charge.  She let peace reign in her heart.
She also had a son to raise, a son to hold and nurse and change and teach.  She was a mother in practical and spiritual ways.  Joseph was the earthly father to provide for and apprentice this little boy.  To protect from the harshness of the world and the arrows of the evil one.  He, too, had to trust God for the unknown.
Today, I am spending time in quiet, to ponder the things of Christmas and family and the future.  Not to make any plans or significant changes.  Just to enjoy Jesus.

The snowflakes fell softly in a perfect Christmas Eve scene.
We have just come home from all that I wrote about in my blog yesterday.  It is after 11 pm and our family is tired from the eating, games, candlelight service and visiting!
But tomorrow morning, Daniel and Caylea will be eager to gather in our dining room, around the tree with the fireplace/stove warming the atmosphere.  They set the time for 8:30 - Daniel said he doesn't want to just rush through and head off to church.  He wants to hang out with the family!  This warms my heart.
We miss Mark and Amy joining us for the special time.  But they are with Amy's family.  It is important for the grieving process that they all be together to mourn the loss and experience the first Christmas without son and brother, Matthew.  Oh, Lord, can You ease their pain and comfort them in Your loving arms?
Again, it is another Christmas without my Dad and we all mention him as we play cards and eat his favourite mince tarts and other sweets.  It is also the first Christmas my Grandma Cecile will be without Grandpa Glen in over 60 years.  We miss our loved ones.
The joy and hope can only come from the Lord.  As we watched my little niece and nephew playing today, carefree of the adult responsibilities and unaware of the separation of death, I see how God's mercies are shown.  New life; a new generation.
For the Love Lives Here bus ministry, I pray they have had meaningful times with those they encounter on the streets of north-central Regina tonight.  They prepared food and treats to give out along with warm clothes for winter.  I know they will share the meaning of Christmas and will pray with those who are willing.  The team members will pray for those who are not willing!  Lord Jesus, come to those who need You and call to You.
"It came upon a midnight clear, that glorious song of old
From angels bending near the earth to touch their harps of gold.
'Peace on the earth, goodwill to men
from heaven's all gracious King.'
The world in solemn stillness lay to hear the angels sing."

Today I did the last of the baking I was going to do for Christmas.  I made apple kuchen, a Selke family tradition. It is a sweet bread dough rolled out into a 9 X 13 cake pan, then topped with sliced apples, brown sugar, cinnamon and a bit of cornstarch to thicken.  Then I bake it for about 1/2 an hour.  We often eat it for Christmas morning brunch and as general snacking along with other baked goodies.
The other dish I made today is the red cabbage recipe, which is a Sanders family tradition.  I saute chopped bacon pieces and onion, and add it to a dutch oven of sliced red cabbage, add a bit of water, juice from pickled beets and brown sugar.  I let it simmer until it is all soft and the flavours combined well.  It is nice made a day or two early, as by the time it is heated again and served, the taste sensation is delightful!
This year with Christmas falling on Sunday, we have a busy weekend ahead.  Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, so we plan to sleep in, have a late brunch and then head over to my step-mom, Dinah's apartment for cards and fun.  We'll order chinese food and have an early supper.  Then Caylea, Daniel and I must be at the church for 5 pm so we can practice for the candelight service which begins at 6 pm.  Usually the service is no longer than an hour, so we will have a nice time of worship and then head back to Dinah's for more snacks and card games.
Then Sunday morning, we will get up, have our family time and then head to church for 11 am.  Sometime after that short service, we will be spending Christmas day at my brother, Scott's and his wife Jen's along with their kids, and my sister, Paula.  My brother, Lance will also liven up the party; well, he is the quiet one among us all!  The hosts will prepare the turkey and potatoes.  The rest of us will bring the side dishes and desserts.  Grandma Dinah always brings the homemade buns.
I have been reading in Matthew's account of the birth of Christ.  We learn a lot about Joseph in this Gospel.  Although Mary experienced God in an unusual way, Joseph also went through strange things in order to do what was right.  He obeyed God's commands and directions through angels and dreams.  He protected Mary and the baby Jesus when in danger.  He followed what God asked of him, even to naming the child.  "And he gave Him the name Jesus." Matthew 1:25b
How precious that Name is to me!  This week in my personal worship and devotional time, I sang the hymn "All Hail the Power of Jesus' Name" and was struck by the authority and power and impact of His name.  Verse one expresses this so clearly:
All hail the power of Jesus' Name, let angels prostrate fall;
bring forth the royal diadem and crown Him Lord of all.
Bring forth the royal diadem and crown Him Lord of all.
Tonight, before the activities begin in earnest, I take time to meditate on the wonderful Name of Jesus, and adore the One who is Lord of all.

I am a missionary.
Since the first year or so of my Christian experience, when I was about 15 or 16, I had been very interested in ministering to people.  Through music.  To kids.  Visiting the elderly.
As I sat in classes, chapels, missionary meetings and understood my Bible more in Bible College, that interest turned into a passion.  On a Friday night at Canadian Bible College, I remember coming to the front of the chapel auditorium, kneeling as the speaker called those who felt God tugging on their hearts to be involved in missions.  The Holy Spirit was tugging on my heart!
The following summer, I found myself in a Native village near The Pas, Manitoba, reaching out to people of all ages as a summer missionary.  That opportunity opened my eyes to the needs right in Canada and I decided to continue with my Bible school education to prepare for missions.
The next year, at Nipawin Bible Insitute, I also went forward at a missionary conference session.  Through some tears, while the hymn "I Surrender All" was playing quietly on piano, I dedicated myself to missions as a career, not knowing for sure where, but definitely that I was going!
The Scripture in Ephesians chapter 2 verse 8-10 has had an impact on my understanding of serving the Lord.  Among other verses such as Matthew 28 "The Great Commission" and the verse in Matthew 9 about "The harvest is plentiful, but the labourers are few...", the words in Ephesians motivated me to seek how I could be involved in ministry, especially as a Christian woman.
"For by grace you have been saved through faith.  And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.  For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."
I wanted to respond to the wonderful grace I had received from God through Jesus.  This verse seemed to call for action and I was more than willing to be active!  Now I know I have not always acted with wisdom or patience; I have been a "doer", a Martha, and not always a Mary, who sits at the feet of Jesus to learn.  My motives have sometimes to prove I am worth something in the kingdom, in the church.  Sometimes I have been compelled by guilt and obligation, not out of love.
But this Christmas season, I have a fresh perspective on this passage in the Bible.
As our ministry is now more about member care of our missionaries in Healing Hearts, and more administrative and leadership of an organization than the actual hands-on church planting, this verse came to mind.  There are always adjustments in job description and role and we know the future may hold more changes with growth and with changing times and culture.  So I was praying, 'Lord, what are the works you have for me to do?'
And in my devotions, I read Isaiah 61 (and the repeating of the first verses in Luke 4).  I saw that Jesus Christ had this very same calling on His life, that God had good works prepared beforehand, that He should walk in them...His works were to "bring good news to the poor,...to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives...to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour...to comfort all who mourn..." (verses 1-2).  He came as a baby and all along, God had a plan for His Son.  That plan also meant Jesus would have to suffer, in every way, and to give His life at a young age.  His death would be shameful, painful and cruel.  That also was a crucial part of the works prepared for Jesus to do.
And Jesus did walk faithfully in those works, right to the end.  Philippians 2:7&8 ~
"...but made Himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross."
It was a very sobering thought to me that the changes and adjustments I have to make in my ministry experience are so minor compared to the cost that Jesus paid in His calling!  But He followed God's will, scorning the shame and gave the ultimate sacrifice.
A special Gospel song I have sung at both Christmas and Easter is entitled, "The Greatest Gift" by Vicky Beeching.  The chorus goes like this:
"The greatest gift I've ever received is the cross, the cross;
for there He gave Himself up for me, on the cross, the cross.
And with the Blood He poured out for me, He has saved my soul.
You have given me the Greatest Gift of all."
After 27+ years of serving as a missionary in Regina and now beyond, I still want to be faithful and active and prayerful in Kingdom work.  I am His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus, and as long as I have breath, I want to keep serving...for my Saviour is so worth my life, my all.

So much has happened in the last week or two...we did travel to Alberta to speak in Walter's home town of Clyde.  The church there is small but vibrant and they were glad to hear updates on our ministry and also on Caylea's health journey.  What a warm welcome and expressions of love and care to us and our family!
It was some of the coldest weather so far this year but we had no trouble with our new Toyota Corolla (2009).  We went from Lloydminster to Edmonton to visit Walter's Mom and also had a quick coffee with his sister Marilee in Sherwood Park.  Then on to Clyde.  Sunday night we spent with Walter's brother, Ed and wife, Brenda in Ponoka.  A short visit but good to catch up on each other's lives and families.
Monday morning we connected with our staff from Big Valley, David and Elizabeth Lilly - meeting them for breakfast in Three Hills at "Joy Kitchen".  We were encouraged by our fellowship and their ongoing vision to reach  Metis folks.  But they had other commitments in the afternoon, so we found ourselves with some time before our next appointment on Tuesday.  Fortunately, Cliff and Gloria Pederson, the pastoral couple doing youth work in Clyde back when Walter was a teen, were available so we met them for lunch at, you guessed it, "Joy Kitchen."  The hostess there looked at us curiously as we came in to meet different people than at breakfast!  (The food was excellent, by the way!)  It was very uplifting to reminisce and to catch up on new developments in both our lives and ministries.
As we parted ways with the Pedersons, we drove south and east towards Brooks.  The secondary highways took us right through the beautiful badlands and the town of Drumheller.  I found the landscape and God's hand in creation to be a wonderful blessing.  We arrived in Brooks, found accommodations and McDonald's chicken wraps and relaxed for the evening.  As it turned out, the heat didn't work properly in the room so they upgraded us into an executive suite for no extra charge!  The room was large, with a separate sleeping area.  There were two fireplaces and televisions.  There was a popcorn machine in the lobby and we enjoyed free popcorn and ice water for refreshments while watching "Back to the Future"!  It was a relaxing and luxurious evening.
Tuesday we checked out of the hotel and drove five minutes to visit with Kevin and Janice Sims and their 4 kids!  They had acquired a new St. Bernard named Penny, who had two puppies, plus they had a new baby only two months ago.  It was a bit of a zoo in their home but we had a wonderful time with their active family.  I played with princess dolls and cars.  I read story books and held a sleeping baby.  We chatted and had lunch and I got a turkey noodle pesto recipe!
We left in the later afternoon, as Walter got some texts about a possible meeting with the engineer and architect for the wood shop on Wednesday.  So we needed to get home by noon if possible.
We drove into the rising moon, a big almost full orb in the winter sky.  I drove part of the way from Medicine Hat and we listened to our Louis L'amour audiobook.
After the lovely hotel upgrade in Brooks, the Super 8 in Swift Current was a bit disappointing.  But we were so tired that it didn't matter.  We were sleeping shortly after 10 pm.
Being middle aged as we are, we were awake early!  We ate the complimentary breakfast and began our journey back to Regina before dawn.  As we drove, we watched the sun rise.  Amazing!
We got back in good time, just to find the men were not actually meeting, so we had rushed home for nothing!  Caylea had her oncologist check up at noon, but went by herself.  But it was good to be home and have a good portion of a day to unpack and catch up on mail and messages.
And that is a typical ministry trip.
Now we are preparing for Christmas celebrations, which is only a week away.
I hope to share some thoughts on Christmas in the next blog.

When Walter checked the highway conditions and weather forecast this morning, it confirmed what we had heard:  no road trip to Winnipeg for us!
The wind howled and the temperatures had dropped in the past day or so.  And when we heard that the Trans-Canada had been closed, we knew for sure that our plans were changed.  So we went on with our Tuesday and let our staff member, Vera, know that we would have to postpone our visit with her.  She understood!  She's a prairie woman and knows the power of winter!
This gave me a chance to get some Christmas shopping done and to wrap a few presents.  I also took a nap in the afternoon as I felt a cold coming on.  An unexpected blessing was that I could participate in the ladies group windup supper so I didn't have to cook tonight.  Bonus!
I caught a ride with our friend and coworker, Gwen, and it was nice to catch up on family and Christmas plans before joining the other ladies at the restaurant.  In the back room of Ricky's on north Albert, a half dozen chatting women plus one adorable baby boy, Ezekiel, welcomed us.  A casual evening of visiting, eating and playing the Chinese gift exchange game was a relaxing windup event.
As Gwen pulled up to our place, I smiled at the twinkling, ever-changing light display on our house.  I had bought Walter one of those LED light units that just sit on a peg in the ground.  No lights to untangle or string up on the eaves.  And the effect of green and red rotating sparkles gave our home the festive look without the hassle.  Yeah, Walmart!
As I look back on the day, I'm not sure how I saw God at work.  I am not overwhelmed by some great and powerful plan as our travel plans were affected by winter weather.  But I can honestly say I am thankful for His presence in my life, in our family's comings and goings, and in the everyday of our ministry life.
This Friday, we have "plans" to travel to Alberta for 3 or 4 days.  We have a supporting church to share in and staff to visit (whom we haven't seen since last summer or even longer).  The Lord is our guide and we hold our itinerary loosely as He superintends all our plans with His purpose.
Proverbs has a couple verses specifically about this.
Chapter 16:9  "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps."
Chapter 19:21 "Many are the plans in a person's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."
Lessons like this are learned and relearned as we follow Him.
Good night, all!

I have been trying to keep people updated on Caylea's health journey through Facebook, as well as the rebuild progress at the ministry wood shop.  But for those who are following our adventures through the Blogspot, this blog is for you!
Yesterday, Friday, Walter thought he felt well enough to wander over to the work site.  We packed up some leftover stew and fixings for lunch, and arrived to realize the progress had ground to a halt.  Jacob was on his cell phone, meeting us in the parking lot, with his thumb wrapped in a significant bandage!  He had cut his thumb on the metal and was about to head to emergency to get stitches.
Mark was sick in bed.  He seemed to have what Walter was still fighting!
The other guys, Spurgeon and Joel, had committed to helping in the morning, and so it looked like the boys had Friday afternoon off.  I told them if they had wanted to get some time off, they didn't have to go to such drastic measures!
I had warmed up the stew and made some garlic toast, so lunch was still on...for Amy and Caylea who had been painting inside the ministry centre.  Spurgeon joined in and Joel had to leave.
Walter had felt good outdoors in the fresh air.  His sinuses seemed to clear a bit.  But once back inside, he felt stuffed up and sinus pain shot through.  After lunch and clean up, we drove homeward, with one stop to order industrial metal doors for the next steps of closing the building in.  And then Walter settled back in at home!
Caylea had been helping Amy paint for the past two days.  Thursday mid-afternoon, she had swim therapy at the Wascana Rehab Centre's lovely pool.  Friday after school, Caylea went over to Spurgeon & Gina Marie's to take Christmas pictures with their puppy, and their daughters, just for fun!
The last two self-injections of Interferon have gone relatively well.  She is taking the shots at bedtime, so makes sure she hydrates well all the time and takes her Tylenol half hour before the injection.  Within a couple hours, she feels cold and flu-ish.  But at least she can sleep most of the symptoms off and doesn't make plans for early in the morning so she can rest.  This seems to be the best plan for her injection schedule.
Daniel has been working, curling, sleeping...that is his normal life during the winter months.  He will be gone to Saskatoon for March and April, taking his 3rd year apprenticeship classes at SaskPolytech. Tonight, Dan is bringing his" mentee", Nathan, to the Strasbourg Bible Camp fundraising banquet.  (Walter, Caylea and I are also going).
Today is Amy's 25th birthday!  They have plans for dinner and a movie so I hope Mark is recovered well enough for them to celebrate her special day.  Tomorrow, we will have them over for lunch and birthday cake and presents.  Its fun to have the two of them close by to spend these special occasions with them!
They decided not to accept the invitation to pastor at a small town church in Manitoba.  After visiting there, preaching, going through the interview process and much prayer, they felt that the senior pastoring role was a bit premature for them.  As they continue to peruse the ministry postings online, they have not found an associate type position as yet. We pray for them as they wait for God to make it clear what their next steps should be!
Well, finally, PRAISE THE LORD!  I have completed the painting on the main level of our home.  The dining room and kitchen are a nice yellow and suit the old-fashioned decor.  The living room and entry are a "khaki" shade and brighten up those spaces.  I took the opportunity to de-clutter and change up the pictures and artwork in those rooms.  Now I am ready to get the Christmas tree and begin the festive decorating frenzy!  (Mostly, I am just ready to put my feet up and watch Christmas movies!  But there will be time for that soon enough...)
Tomorrow is the theme of "Peace" for Advent, and I am leading the worship time.  Mark will be preaching.  Caylea may play keyboard.  It will be a special Sunday.
Have a blessed weekend!

I write this from our spare bedroom where I have spent the last couple nights
Walter has caught a dreadful cold and I wasn't able to sleep through his sneezing, coughing and being awake!  So he is tucked in for the night and I am almost ready to sleep myself.
Our days have been full with my ongoing painting at home here and Walter's oversight of the construction project at the ministry centre.  Today I had a lunch appointment and then an afternoon coffee with my mentor.  The painting didn't get too far and the living room is still in disarray.  Walter was feeling so rough he didn't leave the house.
Our main concern is that Caylea doesn't catch a cold or flu if it can be avoided.  Although not as sensitive or susceptible to germs as those who have had straight up chemotherapy, Caylea is still more at risk than the average, healthy young adult. So I disinfected the door knobs and hand rails specifically around our house, plus washed my hands numerous times when in contact with Walter or his dishes or his food!  I don't want to be paranoid, just careful.
We have two banquets/Christmas parties this weekend and we want to celebrate our daughter in law's birthday, as well.  She turns 25 on Saturday.  I pray that Walter will be recovered soon and that none of us will catch it over the weekend either!  Am I asking too much?
The building project is progressing well, in spite of some snow and colder temperatures.  The metal roofing is on and by tomorrow's end, perhaps the walls will be clad also.
In the midst of all this activity, I would like to get our Christmas tree.
We will be making a couple brief trips in the next week or two and then the season will be upon us.  That quick!  As usual, by the first of December, I start to panic that I won't get my shopping and preparations done in time...but I do have all my Christmas cards and extra mailings done, with the last batch ready to mail.  In some ways, I am ahead of myself.
As I am about to close my eyes, I give thanks to my Heavenly Father.  He is so good and patient and loving.  I am surrounded by a fun and lovely family.  I have friends who care and are available.  We have amazing teammates in ministry who are faithful.  Our fridge, freezer and pantry are full.  Our home is snug and warm.  Our family all have vehicles and the wherewithal to keep them running.
And I have Jesus.  His birthday is coming up and I do want to enjoy honouring Him this year.
Good night, all.  God bless you!

With my car loaded with ladies and luggage, I drove out of the city to the beautiful Last Mountain Lake.  The four-lane highway turned to a secondary highway through Craven and wound its way to a gravel road.  We felt like we were driving to the middle of nowhere, and technically we did drive to the end of the road!  As we pulled into Strasbourg Bible Camp, Tammie and her mother-in-law Rose and my daughter, Caylea piled out of the car.  Several of the ladies from Healing Hearts Regina were already there and greeted us as we entered the main lodge.
LADIES RETREAT!
Excitement was in the air as we registered and found our room assignments.  I threw my stuff onto a bottom bunk and went back to start the visiting!
The main meeting room had all the couches and chairs pulled into semi-circular rows in front of the fireplace, which had a small but warm fire already started.  A few more women arrived and we went ahead to have supper at 6 pm.  The service started around 7 and still not all the carloads had arrived  Texts and phone calls sorted out the directions; it is nearly impossible to find the camp at night as GPS and Google Maps just don't register it.  Eventually the latecomers arrived safely and some had a late supper and others just joined us for the evening service.
One of the latecomers was Joni, who was going to co-lead the music for the retreat.  She had to help Gina Marie's husband, Spurgeon who had been hunting in the Meadow Lake area.  His vehicle broke down and she had to bring him the rest of the way south.  It all worked out and Aimee was able to lead us in worship even though she was alone as a "worship team of one"!
Debbie Matthews was our speaker - she is a missionary in Nipawin with HHM.  The theme was on being "Re-Created" and Debbie did a wonderful job of setting the scene for God's intention for us as women and how God has sent His Son to re-create and redeem us.  Along with the teachings from Scripture, Debbie shared her story.  God definitely used her journey into healing in Jesus Christ to illustrate the hope for all of us.
The weekend was marked by sharing wonderful meals and making new friends.  But it also became apparent that the enemy was not pleased with our gathering.  By suppertime, Nancy who had been M.C. for the meetings, called us as leaders together to pray, especially for Debbie.  So we met in the laundry room, away from everyone else, and prayed to claim the camp and the retreat for Jesus!  Debbie was going to be addressing the topic of strongholds in our lives and no doubt the devil would try to target her.  That evening was a powerful time and we praise the Lord for the words Debbie was free to share.  Later, she told me 7 different women met with her over the weekend to pray through and talk through a lot of the principles she had shared.  She challenged us to forgive those who have harmed and hurt us  She also challenged us to repent of all immorality and be free from sin.  This was not a retreat of only fun and games but of getting serious with the Lord and seek His healing.
Don't get me wrong-there was laughter and games and walks and a movie night!
Sunday morning, Gina Marie led us in a special Advent candle-lighting time before breakfast.  With the only light being the Christmas tree and the candle on the Advent wreath, we stood around the candle to sing and listen to Scriptures on Hope.
The last morning went by quickly and was wrapped up by some final words of thanks and gifts being given to those who served us by leading.
I felt both joy and pride in the way our HHM women stepped up to organize and run the retreat.  At the same time I felt sad and kind of set aside from this particular ministry.  I used to help plan, organize and lead these and this time I was simply a participant.  The enemy was trying to use that as a weapon against me.  But the other side was I did support the endeavour with prayer and bringing ladies and engaging the new ones who joined us.
I know I was blessed and God taught me how to sit back and receive from my teammates.
Looking forward to how God will continue His healing work as a ripple effect of the weekend.

What a week!
Mondays have traditionally been our day off, but with the rebuilding project, Mondays are now busy. Walter has a job site to manage, materials to order and administrative concerns at the same time  So we are fortunate to have had a quiet, restful weekend before the week hit!
I thought I would get back at the painting at our house and pick up some groceries, as we had company coming for supper and overnight.  I had made some assumptions of how my day would go and from 2 pm onwards, I had some major readjustments to make!
Without boring you with all the details, I stopped painting midstream in order to accompany Caylea to her appointment at the cancer clinic.  She wanted me to come last minute and I am glad I did.  I learned along with her how to give the Interferon injections.  That part went very well.  Took longer than planned so Walter had to clean up my paint mess and welcome our guests before I got home.
But within a couple hours, Caylea had a bad reaction to the drug.  We hadn't known what the procedure would be at the clinic, so she didn't take any Tylenol prior to the injection.  And she hadn't hydrated sufficiently-usually they give IV fluids and that wasn't the case.  With company at our supper table, suddenly Caylea turned quite pale, chilled and went up to bed!  We didn't think too much of it until Walter checked on her and she was curled up and crying!  She had cramps in her legs and ankles, was aching and feeling so ill.  It was horrible to watch!
Walter took over to massage her and give her fluids.  He texted our medical friends and got advice.  Daniel and I filled in for the curling team-too late to cancel,we thought.  And our company adjusted with us and helped out tremendously!
We got to the curling club and our opposition called ten minutes before game time to cancel.  I was soooo frustrated.  We all decided to stay and throw a few rocks.  Then we ordered the snack platter and hung out.  My niece was there to curl and so we wanted her to have a good experience and get in some practice.  It all worked out.
In the meantime, Walter got Caylea feeling better and praise the Lord, she got through it!
The next day was a break from the Interferon so Caylea was able to recover and drink lots of water.  She planned a strategy for Wednesday (today) to prepare herself for the injection.  And that went well, by the way.  She still had some side effects but milder and manageable.  She was able to lead the Bible study at youth group and came back feeling better physically and encouraged about the way the study worked out!
To add to my busy schedule, our 2017 Healing Hearts calendars arrived and we set to work to print off a Christmas letter and begin to stuff envelopes for our big mail-out.  Fortunately, I had been painting to my favourite Christmas CD's in the morning, so I had some festive cheer going on to set the mood!
Wow!  It is only Wednesday night and I feel like it must be at least Friday.
But as I write, I am reminded that it is American Thanksgiving tomorrow.  I had read an online devotional on choosing thankfulness even when emotions don't feel it.  Psalm 100 was the Scripture text.  There are so many things God has done for us, grace He has given through hard days, people who have encouraged us and prayed for us.  Even tonight as I prayed for Caylea to be able to lead the devotional study at youth group, I praised and thanked God for how He did give her health and strength and success!
Tomorrow is a new day and the mail-out may or may not get finished and my painting will likely have to wait...sigh!  But its not about what gets accomplished; its about my attitude in the midst of interruptions, unexpected events and health crises.
"Enter into His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise."  Psalm 100:3

Yep, today was a "normal" Sunday...
Walter and I arrived at Healing Hearts in time to visit with a few people before Spurgeon called us to find a seat.  I grabbed a coffee and sat between my husband and my son, Mark and daughter-in-law, Amy.  (Daniel had been curling in a bonspiel in Moose Jaw all weekend and Caylea was up in Nipawin for an alumni event.)
Spurgeon prompted us with our usual "Praise the Lord!" and the congregation, a little sparse today, responded with the loud echo "Praise the Lord!"  Then he opened our service with thoughts on Facebook posts.  Can we believe them all?  Are all "news sites" legitimate?  His challenge to us was that the Internet is a prime place to prove the Scripture of Paul's letter to Timothy that people will no longer endure sound doctrine but only listen to what their "itching ears" want to hear.  We ought to be a people who discern truth and not buy into everything we hear.  God's Word is our unfailing guide.
Then Gina Marie and her team led us in musical worship...with a song written by one of our own Healing Hearts songwriters.  It always feels like home when I sing with our own church family.  I even had tears as I lifted my voice and hands to the Lord!
Bob invited Vivian to the front and explained how she had taken some training to become a hospital visitation/chaplain and felt called to this ministry.  We as HHM pastoral leaders came up and surrounded her as Walter led us in prayer to commission Vivian into this area where she already has functioned but now is going to do more intentionally for Jesus.
Bob gave the announcements.  (One of our interns last year commented how this was his favourite part of our services-you never know what will get announced or how we all interact to correct or change upcoming events! Always exciting!)
Then the kids were prayed for and marched around the sanctuary once before heading to their Sunday School rooms.  Bob had to play the "Marching in the Light of God"song on Kelly's electric guitar-a unique version of the song!
Spurgeon pulled up a stool and grabbed a microphone to lead us in the sharing time.  This is the heart of our Sunday morning time together.  Several shared prayers needs, answers to prayer, and how God was working in their lives.  One guy who hasn't been to church in months gave us an update on how his family was doing and asked for prayer as he struggles as a single dad whose "ex" doesn't encourage the same priorities in raising their kids.
We had a visiting couple and their new baby girl welcomed.  The wife had been part of our Millar College teams a few years ago and returned just to connect with HHM.  It was so encouraging to have someone we had invested in and who served us come back because of "relationship".  That's what we believe it's all about!
After Spurgeon prayed and gave thanks for the various things shared, Bob came up to the front to preach from I John.  It was a sermon on "If" and "Then" statements.  If we do certain things, God does certain things.  If we sin, then we have consequences.  If we walk in darkness, then we don't have the light of God.  If we say we don't sin, then we lie.  If we confess our sins, then God will forgive us our sins.  Oh, how we need our Saviour's mercy!
As Bob closed in prayer, a few women gathered at the front to arrange the transportation for the upcoming ladies' retreat planned for the next weekend.  People chatted, admired the little babies and it was so good to fellowship.
Walter and I left about 1:30 or later...and I was already planning the lunch I was going to prepare for our family.  It's been nice to have Mark & Amy around just to have over for Sunday dinner.
Mark was excited when he walked in to smell and see "breakfast for lunch".  Bacon sizzling, hashbrowns browning, pancakes bubbling.
It was a relaxing afternoon of visiting, with NFL football on TV as Daniel had control of the remote, The quiet afternoon ended for us as we peeled ourselves from our recliners to head over to the ministry centre for staff meeting.  Although we love it and want to build team, it can be an effort to meet on Sunday nights.  Just can't find any other time slot in the week that suits the majority.
But it was a worthwhile time to discuss upcoming Christmas events and activities, to connect about the week ahead and to share and pray for each other and for the ministry.  Walter gave an update on the building project and the plans for the coming days. What struck me tonight was the transparency we can have with each other.  And the passion our team has for their ministries and for the church body.
Lord, hear our prayers!  Humble us and keep us in Your care.  We need You!  We want to be a strong team in Your Name. Protect us from harm, division, distraction, spiritual attack.  Thank You for all You have done.  We are blessed!  To You be all the glory!
We were home by 7:30 as Mark & Amy were just heading back to their humble abode.  Caylea had arrived from Nipawin. Daniel was making popcorn and had switched to his Green Bay Packers jersey.  As Walter & I warmed up some leftovers for a late supper, it just feels good to be home.
And that is a "normal" Sunday for the Selkes!

This week  begins a season of fundraising banquets!
Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, many organizations are holding events.  Healing Hearts will sometimes host a table and so we try to have some of our staff at these events to show support.
Monday was a steak dinner for Maybell Developments.  We met four of our coworkers at the venue right at the opening of the event.  We all had other commitments to follow the dinner so we ordered our steaks right away and visited together.  The couple starting up Maybell Developments wants to facilitate affordable housing for those in north central Regina who are trying to better themselves and live with dignity.  So we want to stand behind them and encourage their endeavours.  We bid on some silent auction items, had a good meal and enjoyed some terrific entertainment, "Jackie and Jason" who played guitar and fiddle.  They did an absolutely stellar version of "The Orange Blossom Special" that had us open-mouthed and staring at the entertainers!
Thursday night, we enjoyed a roast beef dinner put on by Charlotte's Catering to support City Kidz.  Our friend, Donna, is director and overall amazing woman running this outreach to kids in the inner city.  With 125 attending each Saturday at the "Playhouse Theatre", and 40+ on a waiting list because they just don't have the volunteers to manage any more children, this ministry is near and dear to our hearts.  Many of the kids come out to our "Inner City Camp" out at Strasbourg in the summer, so our realms of impact cross over in the "hood".
Caylea brought her young "mentee", Kezzi, to the banquet and they seemed to enjoy the grown up atmosphere with a few of us Healing Hearts leadership. Caylea opened a bottle of sparkling peach juice, and we all ducked as she popped the cork.  No one lost an eye in the process! Unfortunately, the entertainment that evening had a family medical emergency so poor Donna was under a little stress.  But a man from Kenya filled in singing a couple songs in his native language just a capella.  Powerful!  (This man will be running for the presidential election in Kenya next year, so he must be a man of influence, yet humbly filled in at the last minute to be a blessing).
Walter did the bidding at this event.  There were a few Roughrider items and oil change/wheel alignment gift certificates he was interested in.  I had done the bidding Monday and ended up with a couple items we were sure would have been outbid because we left early!  Alas, Walter didn't get his auction dreams but I won us an infrared turkey fryer!  Whoo hoo!
Coming up in two weeks, we will be attending the Strasbourg Bible Camp banquet and will be eagerly awaiting the silent auction excitement there.  Walter and Gwen Lydiate usually get into bidding wars and we have a blast with the competition!
So we will pace ourselves with these banquets...and pray God will bless these charities as they offer help to those in need.

What have I been doing these past days?
Life.
Around our house, if there isn't anything happening, we usually start a project.
So, while we waited for the paperwork to go through for the rebuild of the woodshop at our ministry centre, Walter got our house "mudded" to repair some dings and improve the plastering we had done in our dining room addition.  It took a week to get everything done.  The dining room was in the living room during that time!
Then the okay arrived and Walter and our "mud expert", Jacob, were gone.
I was left with the task of painting.  Fortunately, Caylea was able to help me and proved to be very skilled at "cutting in".  Amy had helped me pick out the paint colours and did some prep work to clean the bay window frame.
The finished product looks amazing!  I had always wanted a yellow kitchen and now I have it!  
But there were a few other areas that needed touching up,  so the front entry is now a khaki colour and this leads into the living room, which is the next room to be painted.  The kichen itself will be done in the yellow in due time.  But only one area at a time, as stuff needs to be moved out of one room, while it is being painted!
In the meantime, progress is now being made at the woodshop job site!  Jacob and Mark are Walter's right and left hands for the project.  And the weather has mostly held considering it is mid-November. The concrete is poured for the piles; the post and beam construction is underway. Trusses are ordered.  And one more project is being done:  mudding and painting in the ministry centre!  The construction boys were working on that before the go-ahead on the woodshop.  So now Amy is working away at the painting inside.
I think Walter is happiest when one or more projects are on the go.
The rest of us keep our running shoes on to keep up!
Yes, the finished products will be very satisfying.  While we are in the midst of the labour, it can be a little overwhelming.  The beauty of it all is that my work has no real deadlines, just my own desire to have the rooms back in order.
Some other things I have been able to do:  visit a co-worker, bake muffins, curl and go to Curves.
Life.
And I am so thankful we are healthy, free and blessed to set goals and accomplish them!
God is in the midst of our work.  And it is good to serve Him.

CELEBRATION!
Friday marked Caylea's final Interferon treatment at the cancer clinic!
After the last of the fluids were finished, the nurse got permission to remove Caylea's PICC line, which she had since early September.  My sister, Paula, went with Caylea for her last day and so took a video on Caylea's phone of the PICC being removed.  You can view it on Caylea's Facebook page if you so desire!
Then the nurses gathered around and handed Caylea a bell to ring, signifying her last treatment.  She gave it a good shake and apparently a piece fell off!  They all clapped and cheered and wished her well as she left the Allan Blair Centre.
Two special gifts arrived in the mail Friday, as well.
A compassionate woman from Ontario sent us matching bracelets to bless us!  Svarkowski Crystal?  Caylea was blown away by the lavish gift!
And a friend from Calgary, a cancer survivor herself, handmade a lap quilt in a matching bag.  It was like Christmas with all the parcels and lovely gifts!
To celebrate, Caylea invited Grandma Dinah and Mark & Amy for Chinese food supper.  No family occasion is complete without playing cards, so we played Golf.  Then Daniel had to leave for his curling game, so we played Dice after that.  Lots of laughter and fun.
It'll be different to wake up Monday morning and NOT have to plan our day around the treatment schedule.  For the next two weeks Caylea is able to rest and recover.  Then she will begin the self-injections of Interferon on November 21 and do that 3 times a week for the next 11 months.  That won't be nearly as life-invading.
This coming Tuesday, Caylea is representing Nipawin Bible College at a career fair here in Regina.  We are so excited and pleased that Caylea will now be able to pursue these and other opportunities without her physical side effects and fatigue dictating her activities.  She can curl a whole game, get a job (maybe part-time at first) and volunteer in some ministries...the possibilities are endless!
God is to be praised!  He has been my refuge, my strength, my comfort and so much more!  When this part of the journey seemed to be fraught with delays, glitches and adjustments, the Lord was superintending every day, every decision, every step of the way.
Psalm 66:5,16
"Come and see what God has done; He is awesome in His deeds toward the children of man...
Come and hear, all you who fear God, and I will tell what He has done for my soul."
The journey isn't over.  Caylea still has some physiotherapy to help restore and prevent swelling in her right arm (lymphedema).  She will be on the Interferon for 11 more months.  She has a permanent scar where the mole and now skin graft is on her arm.
But the faithfulness of our God will never fail.  He will grace upon grace to see us all through this coming year...
Psalm 66:1
"Shout for joy to God, all the earth; sing the glory of His name;
 Give to Him glorious praise!"

I had a wonderful 50th Birthday celebration on Halloween.
My husband brought me coffee and breakfast in bed.
My daughter was able to have her treatments this week and drove herself.
My son Daniel brought flowers home for me after work.
Mark & Amy made it back from Manitoba in time for supper.
My mom baked me a coconut/orange chiffon birthday cake.  And my step-dad came up as well (after driving to Virden, MB for a chiropractor appointment in the morning...96 years old!)
My sister and niece joined us for supper and cake.
Everyone got me lovely gifts and made me feel very special...even the old  jokes werent too bad!
I had a few minutes alone to read my Bible and be thankful for such a special day.  This year, the Lord brought my attention to a verse in Ephesians that will be my theme for the next 12 months.
I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called...
I had been reading a devotional book by John McArthur that focused on this verse for five or six readings, each day bringing out new truths of this many-faceted yet brief Scripture.  And for the day I was to read next, the emphasis was on being called.  I have been called, drawn, set apart for Gods special attention.  As John 15:16a states, You did not choose me, but I chose you.
For various reasons, I have battled with self-esteem and doubted my value.  But with each year that I grow as a woman who has been bought with a price by Jesus Christ, I am learning to love myself, value myself, believe Gods Word that I am beloved.  He chose me!  I may think I chose to follow Jesus and accept the Gospel in my life.  But truly, He was drawing me, He was capturing my heart, He was laying down the foundation of my life and His truth so that I could come into a relationship with Him.  He chose me, and did not reject me!
I have been called.  And now I am being urged to walk in a manner worthy of that calling.  In the days ahead as I live out my Jubilee Year (old Testament teaching that any slaves are to be released in that year, all debts cancelled and a fresh start in freedom to be had by the nation of Israel), I want to live more in the freedom I have as a Christian.  Free to worship, free to develop my gifts, free to love others and free to forgive as Christ forgave me!
With all the love lavished on me, and my deepest longing just to have all my kids and my husband together, I feel very spoiled.  As it turned out, our family curling team was able to curl also that evening at the Tartan Curling Club, so it was a very special and memorable day for me!
What an amazing start to 50 years of my life!  God is so very good!

Colossians 1:9 &10
I have heard these verses several times in the last week or so - at the conference we were at in Canmore and in a devotional book that took 3 or 4 daily readings to unpack the truths.  And so here are a few thoughts I've had as God is obviously repeating for me to hear!
"And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, 
asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,
so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him:
bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God..."
Just above this passage, in verse 4, Paul says that they (he and his ministry partners) had "heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all the saints."  So Paul repeats this phrase, that they have heard these good reports and have not ceased to pray for the believers at Colossae.  It would seem that the believers were doing well, with a good reputation.  So why would Paul feel the need to pray for them so fervently?
Because Paul knew the challenges of following through with the profession of faith in Christ Jesus.  It is one thing to begin with fresh faith and enthusiasm; it is another to be disciplined and mature when life gets difficult or others oppose your decision to be a Christian.
What did Paul pray for the Colossians?
"...to be filled with the knowledge of His will" ~ Life is full of decisions.  Big, small, significant or trivial.  To be able to know God's will for my own personal life, the affairs of my family, my business, or other areas of responsibility is imperative and vital.  There is nothing that touches me, or you, that is insignificant to our Heavenly Father.
And how does Paul pray for this request?
"...in all spiritual wisdom and understanding" ~ this means that all of the details of our life are spiritual.  Our finances, our health, our relationships and our everyday activities are all of great spiritual concern and call for wisdom and understanding.  We don't live our lives in compartments, even though we in the western cultures do tend to look at religion and the rest of life as unrelated.  This is so NOT true!  Our Christian faith affects everything we do, or at least it really needs to in order to be genuine and sincere.
In fact, Paul expands on this in the next part of verse 10:
"...so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him" ~ To please the Lord, to live a life that is worthy to be identified with the Lord Jesus Christ, we do need to pray for wisdom.  James chapter 1 also encourages us to ask God for wisdom, because we will find we are lacking the knowledge we need to live right.  Proverbs is full of admonitions to seek wisdom and to avoid foolishness.
"...bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God"~ Paul's prayer included asking God that these believers would bear fruit in every good work.  In reading 1 Corinthians 12-14, Paul also writes to that group of believers how to live as Christians and function in their church and faith community.  He describes the types of things that should be part of worship and that which is inappropriate for worship.  He expounds on the gifts of the Spirit and how people can minister one to another in the body of Christ.  But smack dab in the middle of these instructions, Paul writes chapter 13, which is known as the "love chapter".  Why?  Because no ministry, no great worship services or amazing outreach strategies will be effective if there is no LOVE!  And cross-referencing to Galatians 5:22-23, Paul lists the fruit of the Spirit, which LOVE is the first one mentioned.  These two passages give a well-rounded picture of what fruit is, what genuine divine love is.
Our way of serving God through good works must be done in a spiritually fruitful way.  Our attitude in serving needs to match up with Christ's attitude, or it will be a clanging cymbal.  It will not please the Lord, nor will it reach others if we lack the fruit of the Spirit.  Serving just to get the job done or because no one else is doing certain tasks is not a fruitful approach.  Taking on ministry roles or responsibilities to be noticed or to get recognition is also a dangerous motive.  It is well worth our time to study and meditate on these Scripture passages and check in with the Lord on our attitudes.
And "the knowledge of God?"  ~ Our greatest desire, our ultimate goal and prize is to know God.  That's why Jesus came to save us, to bring us into a relationship with the Father.  Increasng which means we must continue to learn and grow and explore and discover who God is.  Our whole lifetime will be spent getting to know the eternal, mysterious, invisible and all-wise Creator and Redeemer.  Paul wanted the Colossians to be disciples in the true sense, constantly learning and becoming like their Master, Jesus.
One major take-away I received from reading these verses over and over was the call to pray like Paul.  I am challenged to pray for others with this fervency and depth.  Not just "God bless so and so..." but to follow the pattern of Paul's prayers here and in other letters he wrote.  
I hope you have been impacted by these Scriptures as much as I have.
Have a great Sunday!

Today's thankful list...
*Caylea's temperature had spiked last night so Walter took her to emergency.  They fast-track cancer patients!  Within an hour, she had her vitals taken, blood drawn for tests and a chest X-ray.  It was determined that she had no infection and the fever was likely one of the side effects of the Interferon.
Thank You, Lord, for enabling Caylea to continue with treatments today.
*A couple chairs over from us at the cancer clinic sat a man and his wife.  He is a part-time pastor/drywall man and his wife was taking her last treatment for colon cancer.  They know of our ministry and receive our newsletter.  I visited with them both, then the husband came to meet Caylea and assure her they were praying daily while she took treatments!
Thank You, Lord, for this encouraging encounter.
*The sky had been grey and gloomy when we went into the hospital just before noon.  When we got out 3 hours later, the sun was out, the sky was a beautiful blue.  The drive home was warm and pleasant.
Thank You, Lord, for lifting the clouds.
*After supper, Walter and I took a walk, completing our long route that is over 5 km.  It was a lovely evening, no wind and quiet.  These walks have been our chance to talk over the day, discuss our family, keep on top of ministry news and simply be together.  Sometimes I think these walks have been our lifeline as a couple to keep connected during this challenging months.
Thank You, Lord, for joining us on our walks and strengthening us physically as well as relationally.
*Tonight I feel tired;  the good tired that comes from a day of activity and accomplishment.  The past few days I have been exhausted but then not sleeping well.  I pray that I can rest, the kind of rest that lets my mind and body be refreshed.
Thank You, Lord, that I can pray about everything and cast all my cares on You.
Good night!

As always, when the Rockies come into view over that one rise on the Trans-Canada Highway, Walter sighs.  The very sight of those majestic mountains gives Walter that sensation of rest, of vacation.  He gives himself permission to relax.
Just over an hour later, we pull into the parking lot of the Ramada in Canmore, Alberta, and make our way into the hotel lobby.  Soon we are registered and into our room.  Within in minutes, we found our NAIM friends and began to greet with hugs and "how are ya's".
We arrived a day late but quickly caught up with the conference flow...we enjoyed the pizza supper and evening of games and fun.  It was good to reconnect with folks.
The next morning we woke up early enough to walk to downtown Canmore and find a favourite coffee shop called "Good Earth", which serves great breakfast sandwiches or wraps and very nice tasting coffee.  It was quiet in there and we enjoyed a relaxing start to our day.
At 9:30 we joined the NAIM family for a time of worship.  A younger missionary from B.C. led us in some old country Gospel songs and it totally  ministered to my heart!  Then we were blessed by the solid teaching of Emerson Falls, a Baptist Pastor of Native American heritage.  Before he spoke, his wife Shirley sang a solo, "His Eye is on the Sparrow" in a southern Gospel style that was powerful!  Then Emerson gave us a message on what it means to thrive in ministry, based on Colossians chapter one.  I took notes.
We drove to Banff for lunch, which we shared with Ben Clarke, Cliff and Cheryl Reynolds, all from Saskatchewan!  Funny, we just all happened to be hanging around and met up...Ben just had his two legs amputated in the past year, complications due to his diabetes.  He was getting around well on his new prostheses, but still needed a walker.  His wife was joining a group who were hiking up the Lady McDonald mountain trail, so he was alone for lunch and the Reynolds were just finishing up a meeting so we invited them along.  It was very nice.
Ben is from La Ronge originally, growing up in the bush north of there with his grandparents.  It is a real treasure to listen to this wise Native man, who loves the Lord and wants to share his faith with his own people.  He hadn't been to Banff before, so we took him for a drive up to Lake Minnewanke and then up to Mount Norquay, short drives with lovely views.
Late afternoon was creeping into the mountains, and we headed back to Canmore to rest before the evening meeting.  We enjoyed more worship and then a communion service.  To end the conference, we had a sharing time, where several shared on some of the highlights of ministry in the last year.  It's always encouraging and uplifting to hear what God is doing in other parts of Canada and the U.S. in First Nations ministry.  So many are "doing ministry" in unique and innovative ways and I am thankful for each part of the body of Christ serving as He empowers.
By Friday morning, I was quite tired and felt a bit of stress being away...while Caylea was in good hands back in Regina, she got bloodwork results that her white cell count was low!  That hadn't happened yet during treatment; so her treatment for the rest of the week had been suspended once again.  With all the visiting, and giving updates on Caylea's journey and how we are doing, I felt utterly exhausted.  And we had a breakfast meeting this morning with our mission's director and another couple.  I didn't want to miss it so I had a cup of tea and prayed I could press through!
God is faithful and I was able to participate in the meeting and felt better once I drank my tea and had a light breakfast.  I guess I don't always realize how this journey with Caylea is affecting me and how fragile my own emotional state is.
We decided to take a detour before heading up to Edmonton to visit Walter's family.  We drove to Johnson Canyon but the trail was closed.  So we carried on to Lake Louise.  Always a beautiful spot to enjoy God's marvelous creation!  We had lunch there in the Chateau Cafe.  Lovely!
Then back up to Sherwood Park. It was a quick visit with the Selke family.  Each time, we wonder if it may be the last visit with Walter's mom.  She's 81 but has been increasingly struggling with her health.  Hopefully she will experience some relief with new medication.
Saturday night we spent in Calgary so that we could speak at Crossroads Community Church the next morning.  That was a good time to update these dear praying folks about our family and our ministry.  The Pastor and his wife had a few folks over for soup and grilled cheese so we could connect with a smaller group. It is so humbling to have such caring people to support us. After everyone left, Pastor John and Jennifer prayed for us and we were on our way...
We got home late, through some fog but listening to a John Grisham audiobook to make the miles go by.  God once again, brought us safely back to our home, sweet home!

Knowing Caylea was having a 5-day run of treatments, I settled into the mental place of the daily routine.  With her times all around the noon hour each day, I had an idea of my own schedule around that plan.  And we had decided that the trip to Alberta with several stops would be made by Walter alone.
Until Walter suggested that maybe I could accompany him if we found others to take Caylea to her treatments.
I spent considerable time making the mental adjustment:  my plan was snugly and firmly in place and I really didn't want to change it!  I even woke up last night and pondered the options and if no one could cover those 4 days, I would need to stay home.  I battled with what to do and felt frustrated that Walter would upset my apple cart!
By supper time this evening, we had people quite happy to step up and drive Caylea to and from her treatments.  God answered our prayers and made a way.  How could I argue with that?
So with bags packed and a departure time set for 8 am tomorrow morning, I have learned another crucial lesson:  surrender.  There is no point in resisting the Lord.  He has good things in store for me, even when change must happen.  I can trust Him with Caylea's care and others are willing to be involved in her cancer journey.
My prayer is that Walter and I will enjoy this trip, be a blessing everywhere we go and be able to rest in the faithfulness of our God.

p.s.  Our curling game was a blow-out!  Caylea and our niece, Cienna, went out to try a few practice slides and our opposition commented, "Oh, no!  They know how to slide!  We're in trouble!"  We proceeded to score 9 unanswered points in 4 ends...by the 6th end, Caylea was chilled and ready to stay in the lobby and warm up.  So the other team, after scoring 2 points, shook hands and called it a game!  A strong start to our curling season.  Caylea decided to name our team "Double or Nothing"!

Here it is, Monday.
As we sat in the chemo clinic, we heard and saw a bit of a commotion down the way from Caylea's chair.  A young man and what appeared to be his wife and infant child were surrounded by nurses from the ward.  They were snapping pictures, trying to make the baby smile and generally being loud and rowdy!
The couple and their baby got up and walked out of the ward, smiling and waving.  The man in his early 30's at the most, had a ball cap on, covering a bald head.  But he looked happy.
All the commotion was the good-bye's and good lucks wished by the staff and others who congratulated this fellow on his last treatment.  Reason to celebrate!
Hopefully, in a short time, they will be making much ado for Caylea, when we leave that ward for the final time.  Soon...
For now, we will make it through 4 more days of treatment this week and then see what her liver and bloodwork shows.
Tonight, Caylea is making a go of curling.  She organized a family team, so she wants to be there for the first game.  I will go to the rink dressed to play, just in case she isn't up for a full 8 ends on an evening after treatment.  Life goes on and hopefully this will be a fun distraction!

Another setback today.
Just as Caylea was setting up in the recliner and the nurse had already given her the Tylenol, another nurse came in to stop the treatments for today.  Caylea's bloodwork showed the liver counts too high again.  So the doctor ordered 2 more days off the Interferon and then do bloodwork on Thursday.  If the counts were the same or lower, he would proceed.
Poor girl!  She feels pretty good physically after 4 days off the medication.  But the mental and emotional roller coaster is tough!
I am so thankful for her positive attitude and ability to adjust.
She is going to use this down time to work on her Scentsy business and spend time with her brother and sister-in-law.
Maybe I will have a chance to go to Curves and catch up on a few things...
Have a good week, friends!

GIVING THANKS
This entire weekend has been a testament of God's goodness.
Friday after Caylea's treatment, we packed up our car and drove to Winnipeg, Manitoba.  We met Caylea's wonderful friends from Bible School at a gas station so she could continue on to their place for the weekend.  Walter and I continued to Steinbach, where we checked in to the Days Inn.  The wedding we would attend on Saturday afternoon was in the small town of Grunthal.
A weekend away...
I am thankful for the safe journey we had.
I am thankful for Caylea's level of health and lack of side effects after the week of Inteferon.
It was marvelous to wake up Saturday morning with no commitments, no appointments, no expectations upon us.  We wandered down to the Continental Breakfast room and ran into the father of the groom.  Dan sat with us and had breakfast, taking time to introduce us to various family and friends.  Their youngest son, Jon was getting married to a girl from Grunthal, whom he met at Nipawin Bible College.
We had a few hours before the 3:30 pm ceremony, so we drove downtown to the MCC Thrift Store, a huge building on Main Street with three rambling sections of second-hand treasures.  (For those who aren't aware, MCC is an arm of the Mennonite denominations that gives donations and volunteer manpower for those in need of relief and help around the world.  Proceeds from the stores go to their various projects.  Every big or small community in southern Manitoba with the large Mennonite population, has an MCC store.)
Two hours of wandering, looking, examining and handling various items and we made our way to the checkout counter.  The treasures we found this trip were:
Christmas cards
Woodcraft patterns
Black & Decker vegetable steamer/rice cooker
2 pairs of knitted gloves
Long black/grey striped cardigan
Oh, but you should have seen all the great deals we passed up!
I am thankful for the joy of simple pleasures, like shopping with my husband and the leisurely opportunity to do so.
As we tucked our parcels in the trunk, we realized we had to get back to the hotel and get ready for the wedding!  Getting ready didn't take that long and we made time to drive through the Tim Horton's to grab a coffee and muffin for the 20-minute drive to Grunthal.
Apart from the Google maps error sending us to the wrong Mennonite church, we made it on time.  In fact, we had lots of time to greet people we knew and make our way into the sanctuary long before the ceremony was to begin.
Dim lighting, beautiful harvest decorations and inspiring piano music played by Dan, the groom's father, set a special ambiance.  Soon, the ushers brought in the grandmothers, and then the mothers lit candles at the front.  The piano music changed as Jon and his groomsmen in dark suits, marched resolutely to the stage.  The smiling pastor led the way.
Another musical transition signaled the bridesmaids' entrance. pretty pink and white bouquets held delicately in front of navy blue, lacy cocktail length dresses.  Then a pause.
Jon looked a little worried as no bride appeared.  The friend who was orchestrating the procession was grinning and looking out into the foyer, but the bride and her father were hidden behind the wall...finally, a radiant young woman, Deana, in simple white gown with sleeveless lace and bodice and a short veil, flowed up the aisle on her father's arm.  Half way to the front they stopped, and I wondered if something was wrong, if they were needing to adjust something.  (Later, it was explained that she just wanted to slow it all down and savour the moment!)
The music tinkled to a close and the pastor proceeded with the traditional nuptials.  The ceremony was short and sweet, with a holy joy and humour to make the special moment fun.
I am thankful for the gift and covenant of marriage.
I am thankful to see young couples making that vow of fidelity and exclusivity in Christian love to one another in light of society's mocking and perverting of marriage.
Following the pronouncement of Mr. and Mrs. Jonathon and Deana Woodard, they had family pictures and we guests went downstairs for coffee and visiting.  More tasteful decorations and lighting in the basement hall with a coffee bar and soda station.  We located our table and then visited with various folks.  It was a blessing to see Caylea with all her friends and smiling as if life was normal.  And the Lord can make it so!
The meal was a delicious BBQ chicken dinner, with baked potatoes, Caesar salad and a roll.  No vegetables?  And the dessert was various kinds of trifle and a tiered tree of little cream puffs!  Not traditional there at all!
We sat with one of the groom's brothers, Joe and his wife Cara.  We've known them for years and it was sweet fellowship.  They had news to announce:  they are expecting their first child in late March.  How exciting for the Woodard family!
I am thankful for friends and the bond in Christ as we rejoice with them.
The evening program did not run late and we said our good-byes.  We followed Joe and his wife to their house, which Walter had seen the plans for when Joe was constructing it.  We got the tour of the finished product and expressed how good a job and what a lovely home it is!
We were able to relax in our hotel room and get the rest we needed after the past weeks of intensity and anxiety.  The next morning we grabbed breakfast with another couple staying at the Days Inn and then packed up to drive back to Carmen, MB, where Caylea was staying.  We planned to attend the church there and have lunch with Caylea's friends, then drive back to Regina with Kristina along to visit here in Saskatchewan.
I am thankful for the freedom to worship, the blessings of Christian fellowship and the opportunity to GIVE THANKS for all God's goodness!  He is an awesome God!  And He has blessed us with a weekend away, a daughter who is powering through these treatments and has such good friends and loyal prayer warriors interceding for her (and for us all as a family).
HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYONE!
p.s. We have our family meal and celebration at our home today with 17 expected to attend.  Everyone will bring a dish or two and I have only to provide the house, the coffee and a pot of potatoes and a ham.  Looking forward to a great day!

Another day of treatment finished and 2 more to go this week.
Today was particularly difficult and I am so glad I was able to spend more time in prayer this morning in preparation for the day.
I especially focused on verses in Romans 15 and 16 about peace and grace.  They were in my thoughts and I could repeat them as I watched my daughter shake, turn pale and struggle with the medication taking effect.
We also find ourselves making constant judgement calls on travel, invitations and commitments.  Caylea's journey is our priority right now but some things in life and ministry must carry on...yes, common sense plays a major role in our decision-making.  And yes, we know we are not indispensable in God's Kingdom.  But what do we set aside and what do we continue to do?
I am thankful for the words our supervisor, Neal, said to us Monday afternoon.  We are not to feel any obligation to our ministry responsibilities during this time.  This gave me a sense of freedom and relief to know our mission family was standing behind us with grace, not performance expectations!
There are a couple big decisions coming up that we do need wisdom for and that have some time parameters.  The Lord also knows these details and how we are quite preoccupied so as not to give proper consideration as we would normally give to such decisions.
Thank you, friends, for reading and for keeping us in prayer!

Rounding the corner of Cormorant Drive, I could see the old P T Cruiser in our driveway.
Mark and Amy are home!
Caylea finished another session of the Interferon treatment and felt the headache and tiredness coming on as we arrived back home.  The dose was half what she started out with so we are hoping it will be effective but with milder side effects.  She was wrapped in her afghan from Great Grandma Cecile as she walked carefully up the stairs to our front door.
It was wonderful to see Caylea's face perk up as she greeted her brother and sister-in-law.  We all visited for a while as they gave Caylea a belated birthday gift (a warm, soft blanket/shawl) and a souvenir from the Maritimes (a Put Pot-ceramic dish for rings, or what-nots).
Walter was going to meet them at the Healing Hearts Ministry Centre to give them keys and let them move in to the suite upstairs.  They will stay there while Mark helps do concrete and framing of the woodshop rebuild for the next few weeks.  I am excited to have them stay nearby, if only for a while.
As they took their things into the suite and arranged furniture to their liking, Caylea rested and watched a couple episodes of "Planet Earth", on loan from Grandma Dinah.  By supper time, she was feeling somewhat better and ate a reasonable amount of chicken, pasta and sauce.
Daniel has been house-sitting for our friends who are on a missions trip to Uganda for a month.  We had invited him for supper tonight but he had the first league curling game tonight of the new season.  Still, it is a balm of comfort to have my kids all home in the same city!  Does a mother's heart good!
As we face this week of resumed cancer treatments, I need the Lord as much as ever.
And yet, it seems with Mark and Amy's presence here not just for a visit but to stay for an extended period, I feel encouraged that they can help us get through...by helping build, by spending time with Caylea, by participating in church and family events.  Maybe this is one of the ways God is providing for us.
I am so thankful that the Lord is with us - I can't imagine trying to cope without Him.

Each day last week, Caylea seemed to get stronger and look healthier without the daily dose of Interferon.  Tomorrow, Monday morning, she is to have bloodwork done again and then it will be determined when she will resume treatments.
I read Psalm 130 during my devotions and was struck with these words:
"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,
and in His Word I hope..."
We have done a lot of waiting throughout this journey with melanoma.
Waiting for appointments.
Waiting for tests.
Waiting for results.
Waiting for surgery dates.
Waiting during recovery.
Waiting for treatments.
Now waiting for Caylea's liver enzymes to be at acceptable levels.
I know what I am learning as we wait.
But what is my daughter feeling and experiencing and learning?
Some day we will see the bigger picture and know what God knows.  We are in the midst of the trials right now and its too soon to evaluate and truly process the waiting and the lessons.
I do know for sure that the Lord is not making us wait for nothing!  He does have a plan and a purpose.  He is worth waiting for.  And His Word is true and full of promises for His children.
I also read in Romans 15:13
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing,
so that by the power of the Holy Spirit
you may abound in hope."
We trust that this coming week will be the right time for God!

Resting is hard work!
As we have tried to take it easy this week, I was finding it a struggle to relax and slow down.  My brain and body had been gearing up for the second week of back and forth to the Pasqua Hospital, so slowing down took effort.
Today, I enjoyed about 4 hours at home alone.  Walter had a lunch appointment and then some errands.  Caylea had a cleaning job for the afternoon.  It was lovely to be free to do whatever I wanted to do...
First I took out my guitar and music.  It took 2 or 3 songs to warm up and get into a worship mood.  Then my Mary Kay order arrived so I stopped to chat with the consultant for a few minutes.  She is friends with me on Facebook and wanted to know how our daughter was doing.  I guess she was impacted by our positive attitude as a family and made a comment about our faith.  I pray that my posts will be a testimony of how the Lord is helping us through.
Back to my guitar and Bible and journal.
Which led me to praying...so many things to pray about these days.
The praying led me outside to do some weeding and tidying of our backyard.  Talking to God is sometimes easier outside in the sunshine, with the smell of earth and leaves to inspire.
Eventually I came back inside and laid on the couch for a few minutes.
Walter came home first about 4:30.  We chatted about the afternoon's events.
Caylea came in close to 5:00.  She was tired and a little sore but I think she was glad to have been out and doing something productive.
We had supper, stir-fry and rice, which the 3 of us ate in front of the t.v. - I know, shame, shame!!!
Our evening ritual of taking a walk may have to be changed to before supper; it's getting dark so early now!  We walked an hour and did 7500 steps.
As our evening drew to a close, we decided to soak in the hot tub.  If that isn't the epitome of relaxing, then I don't know what is!  By 10 pm we are so relaxed we are slipping into comas...
So here I am, blogging.  Just so people know that the Selkes are real humans, with ordinary lives and definite limits to their energy levels.
Tomorrow will be a new day but today, ahhhh, it was a gift of rest from the Lord!

Just as we were getting into the rhythm of treatments and managing the side effects, we hit a roadblock!
On Monday, Caylea's friend wanted to take her to her 11:30 am treatment.  So Walter and I were free to minister at a memorial service for stillborn twins.  We had just finished the brief service and I sent a text to Caylea to check in with her.  She called immediately with unexpected news.
First she waited over an hour in the waiting room as they were behind in chemotherapy.  Then her Interferon was not in from the pharmacy yet.  Finally, they called her in and the oncologist, Dr. Iqbal, met her to say she would not be getting treatment today.
The weekly bloodwork she has done showed dangerous levels in her liver enzymes.  So with the chance that the Interferon was causing issues with her liver, Dr. Iqbal wanted her to take the week off and they would check her bloodwork again the following Monday.
Although relieved to have this break and recover a bit, Caylea  felt disappointed with the delay.  I think we all felt frustrated to add on to the overall length of this journey!  And how would we spend this week as we've put many things on hold in order to get through these treatments?
Somehow, we've filled in the time with shopping, a picnic at Wascana Park, a visit from Grandma Dinah, and tomorrow Caylea has a cleaning job.  There are always things to do in our house or the garage so we are not bored!
In the meantime, Caylea's appetite is returning and we are trying to fill her up with good nutrition so she can be fortified for the next round of medication.
What ran through my mind on Monday when I heard of this delay was the chorus of an old hymn:
"Learning to lean, learning to lean,
I'm learning to lean on Jesus.
Finding more power than I'd ever dreamed-
I'm learning to lean on Jesus."
At each step and with each roadblock, we are all learning to trust the Lord more.  We really have no other choice!  So many details and time lines are out of our hands.  But they are certainly in His!

September 24, 1993
It actually started on September 23, after supper.  I remember I cooked homemade sausage, sauerkraut and potatoes.  That's probably what started the labour, that good old German food!  But this baby wasn't due for another 2 weeks, so the twinges and slight tightening of my abdomen didn't seem to be that serious.  So we went ahead with date night, since we had a sitter for Mark and D.J. (aka Daniel) already lined up.
All we did was get in our Dodge Caravan and drive around the city.  Going all the way around Regina on the ring road and down the Lewvan doesn't take long, maybe half an hour.  So Walter wound our way through the Wascana Park's meandering road system.  The fall colours were lovely and it was a pleasant evening.
Walter must have noticed I wasn't contributing as much to the conversation as the evening grew to be dusk.  I was glancing at the digital clock on the dashboard, timing what I figured was definitely now contractions.  Irregularly, they were about 15 -20 minutes apart.  So I told my husband this and he immediately drove back home.
"It might be a long night," he said, "so we better get you home to rest."
Walter must have put the boys to bed or perhaps the babysitter did that.  I don't remember.  I tried to lay down in our room, but that was proving to be less and less restful.
About 11 pm, I decided it was probably time to get to the hospital.  Being the third birth, it may take even less time than the previous two.  We called my Dad and step-mom, Dinah, to see which one could come for the night shift.  Was it Dinah this time?  I remember it was my Dad driving in the dark with frost on his windshield in April for Daniel's arrival!  So I think this was Dinah's turn...
By the time we drove the short distance from 1372 Montague to the Pasqua Hospital, I was having under 10 minute intervals between contractions.  It was midnight.
The woman in the adjoining labour room to mine was carrying on something fierce!  I felt sorry for her.  Walter calmly held my hand and sat quietly by my side.  I was ready for some kind of medication for pain when the nurse checked and said, "No time!  You are 9 1/2 cm dilated!  Let's wheel you into the delivery room!"
What couldn't have been more than half an hour, a howling baby girl was born!  I was so surprised to hear Dr. Liem's announcement but will never forget her comment, "She looks just like her brothers!"  I laughed, thinking, this baby looks very different than her brothers, with soft, blonde downy hair, petite features and a sweet rosebud mouth.  She was all girl, only 6 lbs 13 oz.  But Dr. Liem was Asian and probably thought all Caucasian babies looked alike!
It was 3:47 am.
Some things are a blur, 23 years later...but the basic details of this part of the story are that I wanted to name a daughter after my Grandma Rasmussen and myself "Marie", as a middle name and the first name to start with a C ( Grandma's first name is Cecile, my mom, Charlotte,and myself, Cindy).  Beyond that, I couldn't decide on a first name.  Walter chose the name of a small town south of Calgary, Alberta, "Cayley", but I didn't want to spell it exactly like that.  So we experimented with options and came up with "Caylea".
When the hub-bub subsided, I could still hear the woman who had been my 'neighbor in labour' and I almost felt guilty for how quickly my daughter had been born!  But later in the private room my doctor got for me, no extra charge, with Caylea in the nursery and Walter off to make phone calls and relieve Grandma from the boys, I was so grateful to the Lord for everything!  I was so blessed!
I wanted to call my sister, Paula, personally with our news and I had to wait forever for morning to come, when she would be up getting ready for work.  Finally 6:30 am arrived and I called my sister, who was nearly squealing with excitement.  First granddaughter on that side of the family!
I just couldn't sleep, even after being up all night.  The day was beautiful, clear blue sky and the trees of north-central turning yellow and orange.  This is the image imprinted on my mind of that September morning.
                                   *****                            *****                         *****
This morning, the skies are overcast, laden with impending rain.  Dull and grey.  But my baby girl is sleeping in her room across the hall, buried beneath a big blue comforter.  I won't wake her but will wait until she gets up in an hour or two before I wish her "Happy Birthday".  I have a silly card and part of her present here.  When I go out to get some food for the party this afternoon, I will get the rest of her gift.  By then, Walter will be home and can help me choose a gift.  In all of our travel, staff conference and treatments, we hadn't fully discussed a present yet.
But today, we celebrate this precious young lady and rejoice in how the Lord is taking care of her, our "Caylea Marie".