Tonight I am feeling a little heavy emotionally.
Friends of ours are going through cancer battles. Both husband and wife were diagnosed with cancer in the same week but are experiencing God's amazing grace for their journeys. I feel heavy only because of the physical and emotional suffering that they will undergo. They are testifying of God's goodness and faithfulness so I know they are in good Hands!
My heart is heavy for other friends who are in personal struggles. I feel helpless to help. My mind has replayed and rehashed conversations and interactions but I have no wisdom or power to change anything! So I pray. And pray again.
Tonight, I found such hope during the Ladies Bible Study. As we read the book and the corresponding Bible verses, I was blown away by God's personal touch on me. As I had been wrestling with thoughts the past two days for the burdens I mentioned above, I had to stop and intentionally focus on praying against the swirl of useless thinking. God's Spirit brought to my mind Philippians 4:8 that helped me direct my thoughts to "whatever is true, whatever is honorable,...just...pure...lovely...whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." And later on I was recalling some incidents and wondering how things could have been dealt with differently. My thoughts began to turn negative and I felt such darkness. I began to pray on the "armour of God", starting with the belt of truth. I saw how the Scripture in Philippians fit with the pieces of the armour and knew God was teaching me valuable truths right then!
So, the verses and topic we were studying tonight was on our mind, how to find rest for our thoughts and bring even our negative memories under the control of the Lord.
Worrying, trying to fix things that are not our responsibility, controlling others and over-thinking problems is such a waste of time! I am so thankful for how God set my mind on things above (Colossians 3) and then reinforced it through His Word with my sisters in Christ.
Even as I write these thoughts down, the heaviness has lifted and I will close my eyes and pray myself to sleep. It is good to know God has it all in His Hands.
Good night, all!
Tuesday 28 April 2015
Thursday 23 April 2015
I sat in Tony Roma's, chin resting on my fist, dopey grin on my face.
Walter knew what I was feeling. I guess after almost 26 years of marriage, he "gets" me!
Our kids were sitting around the restaurant table, talking over one another and laughing. It was Daniel's 23rd birthday supper. Beside him was his girlfriend of about 3 months, Meredith, and across from them was our oldest, Mark and then Caylea our youngest next to Mark. The only one missing from our happy family was Mark's wife, Amy, who had to be home to teach her piano students, while Mark was working out at Dallas Valley Ranch Camp with his construction crew.
The appetizers were done and we waited for the entrees to arrive. I sipped my ice water, while Walter grinned back at me.
Our whole family had just returned from Nipawin to celebrate Caylea's Bible College graduation. Two days later, we gathered to share in Daniel's birthday. With adult children, it is rare we can be together for some of these special occasions. And the fact that our kids want us at their celebrations is a double thrill!
We all drove back to our house for DQ ice cream cake and presents. Walter took pictures as Daniel "hammed it up" with an Oscar-like acceptance speech before blowing out the candles. And when I thought the party might be waning, Daniel suggested a game of cards. Now that is how we usually spend our family times and it warmed my heart that this was his wish.
So, Walter knew my thoughts as I contemplated the noisy fun of our family: it was my "warm family moment" look and that dopey grin meant I was feeling so full of joy and contentment. He didn't even tease me about being a happy mama~he felt the same way!!!
Walter knew what I was feeling. I guess after almost 26 years of marriage, he "gets" me!
Our kids were sitting around the restaurant table, talking over one another and laughing. It was Daniel's 23rd birthday supper. Beside him was his girlfriend of about 3 months, Meredith, and across from them was our oldest, Mark and then Caylea our youngest next to Mark. The only one missing from our happy family was Mark's wife, Amy, who had to be home to teach her piano students, while Mark was working out at Dallas Valley Ranch Camp with his construction crew.
The appetizers were done and we waited for the entrees to arrive. I sipped my ice water, while Walter grinned back at me.
Our whole family had just returned from Nipawin to celebrate Caylea's Bible College graduation. Two days later, we gathered to share in Daniel's birthday. With adult children, it is rare we can be together for some of these special occasions. And the fact that our kids want us at their celebrations is a double thrill!
We all drove back to our house for DQ ice cream cake and presents. Walter took pictures as Daniel "hammed it up" with an Oscar-like acceptance speech before blowing out the candles. And when I thought the party might be waning, Daniel suggested a game of cards. Now that is how we usually spend our family times and it warmed my heart that this was his wish.
So, Walter knew my thoughts as I contemplated the noisy fun of our family: it was my "warm family moment" look and that dopey grin meant I was feeling so full of joy and contentment. He didn't even tease me about being a happy mama~he felt the same way!!!
Tuesday 7 April 2015
We have been working on a home renovation - week 6.
I carry down various tools, scraps of packaging, rags and buckets with the hope that these items are no longer needed. Or back up to our bedroom and ensuite bathroom they will go!
It all started with Walter's desire for a shower in our ensuite. The house was built with only a toilet and sink and built in shelves. With a few adjustments to the configuration of the bathroom, we could include a tiled shower.
Well, in order to make this shower worth the while, we needed to take out our closet and the hall linen closet. Then the old bathtub/shower enclosure in our main bathroom could be moved into that former closet space and increase the available space for our ensuite shower project.
This of course, led us to steal space from Daniel's recently vacated bedroom (he just moved out to a house/sharing rental arrangement with buddies). Might as well make his entire room into a walk-in closet and expand our bedroom square footage.
So out came a wall and gone is Daniel's former bedroom door. New flooring needed to be installed, stipled ceiling scraped and "Pecan Sandie" paint applied to the walls!
Just as the main bathroom was being finished and our bedroom reorganized, we could turn our attention to the ensuite. Back where we started...
Today, I stand in front of a beautiful tiled shower, complete with built in bench, shelves and a shower system rivaling a "Star Trek" control panel! As Walter puts on the finishing touches to the glass shower door, I am eagerly hauling out the unnecessary objects and bags of garbage to speed the process to its long-awaited end!
I must say, after 6 weeks of devotion to this project, it looks clean and shiny and beautiful.
Unfortunately, we don't look quite so bright and new! I think we are both played out after doing most of the designing, engineering and grunt work ourselves ~ except for hiring a very skilled young man to tape & mud for us; best decision we ever made!
If Walter dares to mention those fateful words, "Honey, what do you think of this idea?"...I may have to book a ticket to a far away destination where no one will have any renovation suggestions!
I carry down various tools, scraps of packaging, rags and buckets with the hope that these items are no longer needed. Or back up to our bedroom and ensuite bathroom they will go!
It all started with Walter's desire for a shower in our ensuite. The house was built with only a toilet and sink and built in shelves. With a few adjustments to the configuration of the bathroom, we could include a tiled shower.
Well, in order to make this shower worth the while, we needed to take out our closet and the hall linen closet. Then the old bathtub/shower enclosure in our main bathroom could be moved into that former closet space and increase the available space for our ensuite shower project.
This of course, led us to steal space from Daniel's recently vacated bedroom (he just moved out to a house/sharing rental arrangement with buddies). Might as well make his entire room into a walk-in closet and expand our bedroom square footage.
So out came a wall and gone is Daniel's former bedroom door. New flooring needed to be installed, stipled ceiling scraped and "Pecan Sandie" paint applied to the walls!
Just as the main bathroom was being finished and our bedroom reorganized, we could turn our attention to the ensuite. Back where we started...
Today, I stand in front of a beautiful tiled shower, complete with built in bench, shelves and a shower system rivaling a "Star Trek" control panel! As Walter puts on the finishing touches to the glass shower door, I am eagerly hauling out the unnecessary objects and bags of garbage to speed the process to its long-awaited end!
I must say, after 6 weeks of devotion to this project, it looks clean and shiny and beautiful.
Unfortunately, we don't look quite so bright and new! I think we are both played out after doing most of the designing, engineering and grunt work ourselves ~ except for hiring a very skilled young man to tape & mud for us; best decision we ever made!
If Walter dares to mention those fateful words, "Honey, what do you think of this idea?"...I may have to book a ticket to a far away destination where no one will have any renovation suggestions!
Monday 6 April 2015
Easter Monday...
We were up and loading our car with luggage and a very special and beloved passenger, Gisela. On our way to the airport, my mind drifted back to my first encounter with this woman who is now a dear friend and sister in the Lord!
Almost nine years ago, I remember welcoming Gisela, an evangelical sister from Germany, into our home to stay an undetermined number of days. We were in the midst of a fence-painting project this August day, so Gisela changed into an older shirt and grabbed a paint brush. Her English was very good, but her accent and sentence structure caused us to smile with amusement once in a while! Gisela insisted on speaking only English so she could learn the language better.
At the time, our kids would have been aged 14, 13 and 11. They were loud, active and normal. I wondered how this single lady in her late 50's, would adjust to our crazy home life while also adjusting to Canadian culture and then First Nations ministry. I needn't have worried. Gisela served wherever she went and in whatever ways God could use her.
I had made a basic spaghetti and meat sauce meal with salad one evening for supper to help her learn some cooking skills. She would be living in her own apartment for the first time since she was 21 and committed her life to the "Motherhouse", living in a convent-style accommodation and taking all her meals communally. She knew how to prepare foods but not plan a meal without a specific recipe. She watched and helped.
The next day we began to search the newspaper for apartments to rent. We pursued a couple places but nothing was appropriate for a single woman in the price range we were looking for. She was specific in some details: nice landscape nearby for prayer walks, a balcony, one bedroom in a secure building not on the ground floor...I was doubtful she would find something that suited her needs and wants and began to accept that Gisela would be staying in our basement for at least a couple weeks, maybe a month depending on rental availability. It was nearing the last of the month.
After prayer on her own and with our family, Gisela and I set out to a Boardwalk apartment advertised in a reasonable area of Regina. We got to the rental office for the meeting and after a quick tour, Gisela was shaking her head "no". The manager suggested another of the Boardwalk properties that had a one-bedroom but the rent seemed a bit high. We thought we would pursue it anyway as nothing else seemed to be opening up.
We drove to the north end of the city, pulled into the parking lot marked for visitors, and entered this office. The other manager had called ahead so we were expected there. After a brief chat, we were led up to the third floor to an empty apartment. Almost immediately, Gisela began to exclaim about the lovely large window to the south that face onto a creek and park area. She could have cared less about the kitchen, bedroom and bathroom as she asked to step out onto the balcony and take a look. Smiling ear to ear, blue eyes sparkling and German-laced joyful exclamations said it all!
God had provided for Gisela's needs to a "T". The bright apartment even had a corner fireplace and laundry facility right next door. The rent was a bit higher than expected, but she qualified for a low income subsidy that enabled her to live her entire nine-year experience in Canada in this very apartment suite. And so began my journey with Gisela and her faith walk with her Father.
I have learned so much from Gisela. Her commitment to prayer. Her journey to find healing from a troubled past as a survivor of war trauma, family alcoholism and abuse. Her willingness in her 60's to learn a new culture, embrace new ministry styles and receive the "healing touch of Jesus" upon the wounds of her heart. Her servant-spirit to offer her hands and heart for the often dirty work of the ministry. Her openness to the teasing of First Nations' humour and learning to dish it out! Her kind and gentle words to me when I have been hurting personally.
We turned into the airport entrance and slowed to enter the parking area. I had barely heard Gisela chatting with Walter as I wandered my own memory lane, Too soon, we were lifting her luggage out and pulling them on little wheels into the airport. The others from our ministry team were just pulling up and we all accompanied Gisela to the Air Canada kiosk. While she checked her bags and received her boarding passes, we all made small talk. Then she joined us in a circle and we said our last good-byes. Hugs and simple words. Not much to say and yet so much to say. Walter led in a prayer for her safety and blessing on the new adventure Gisela was on as a freshly commissioned "Healing Hearts Ministry" to share what she has learned in Canada with her home culture.
A few tears glistened as Gisela gestured how she felt God was cradling her in His hands and she felt a sense of completion and peace that her time in Canada was done. Thank You, Father!
As I write, she will be almost to Toronto, where she has a couple hours before boarding the cross-Atlantic flight for Frankfurt, Germany. Nine hours later and then a final leg to Stuttgart, where she will immediately go to her new home, a private suite in a small retirement building for sisters.
Her life will change drastically, from the life she knew in Germany before, and now her new perspectives and freer schedule of retirement.
As Gisela can testify, God has gone before her every step of her journey. He is the same God here and there. Her Healing Hearts family will look forward to updates on how she will continue to serve her Lord.
We were up and loading our car with luggage and a very special and beloved passenger, Gisela. On our way to the airport, my mind drifted back to my first encounter with this woman who is now a dear friend and sister in the Lord!
Almost nine years ago, I remember welcoming Gisela, an evangelical sister from Germany, into our home to stay an undetermined number of days. We were in the midst of a fence-painting project this August day, so Gisela changed into an older shirt and grabbed a paint brush. Her English was very good, but her accent and sentence structure caused us to smile with amusement once in a while! Gisela insisted on speaking only English so she could learn the language better.
At the time, our kids would have been aged 14, 13 and 11. They were loud, active and normal. I wondered how this single lady in her late 50's, would adjust to our crazy home life while also adjusting to Canadian culture and then First Nations ministry. I needn't have worried. Gisela served wherever she went and in whatever ways God could use her.
I had made a basic spaghetti and meat sauce meal with salad one evening for supper to help her learn some cooking skills. She would be living in her own apartment for the first time since she was 21 and committed her life to the "Motherhouse", living in a convent-style accommodation and taking all her meals communally. She knew how to prepare foods but not plan a meal without a specific recipe. She watched and helped.
The next day we began to search the newspaper for apartments to rent. We pursued a couple places but nothing was appropriate for a single woman in the price range we were looking for. She was specific in some details: nice landscape nearby for prayer walks, a balcony, one bedroom in a secure building not on the ground floor...I was doubtful she would find something that suited her needs and wants and began to accept that Gisela would be staying in our basement for at least a couple weeks, maybe a month depending on rental availability. It was nearing the last of the month.
After prayer on her own and with our family, Gisela and I set out to a Boardwalk apartment advertised in a reasonable area of Regina. We got to the rental office for the meeting and after a quick tour, Gisela was shaking her head "no". The manager suggested another of the Boardwalk properties that had a one-bedroom but the rent seemed a bit high. We thought we would pursue it anyway as nothing else seemed to be opening up.
We drove to the north end of the city, pulled into the parking lot marked for visitors, and entered this office. The other manager had called ahead so we were expected there. After a brief chat, we were led up to the third floor to an empty apartment. Almost immediately, Gisela began to exclaim about the lovely large window to the south that face onto a creek and park area. She could have cared less about the kitchen, bedroom and bathroom as she asked to step out onto the balcony and take a look. Smiling ear to ear, blue eyes sparkling and German-laced joyful exclamations said it all!
God had provided for Gisela's needs to a "T". The bright apartment even had a corner fireplace and laundry facility right next door. The rent was a bit higher than expected, but she qualified for a low income subsidy that enabled her to live her entire nine-year experience in Canada in this very apartment suite. And so began my journey with Gisela and her faith walk with her Father.
I have learned so much from Gisela. Her commitment to prayer. Her journey to find healing from a troubled past as a survivor of war trauma, family alcoholism and abuse. Her willingness in her 60's to learn a new culture, embrace new ministry styles and receive the "healing touch of Jesus" upon the wounds of her heart. Her servant-spirit to offer her hands and heart for the often dirty work of the ministry. Her openness to the teasing of First Nations' humour and learning to dish it out! Her kind and gentle words to me when I have been hurting personally.
We turned into the airport entrance and slowed to enter the parking area. I had barely heard Gisela chatting with Walter as I wandered my own memory lane, Too soon, we were lifting her luggage out and pulling them on little wheels into the airport. The others from our ministry team were just pulling up and we all accompanied Gisela to the Air Canada kiosk. While she checked her bags and received her boarding passes, we all made small talk. Then she joined us in a circle and we said our last good-byes. Hugs and simple words. Not much to say and yet so much to say. Walter led in a prayer for her safety and blessing on the new adventure Gisela was on as a freshly commissioned "Healing Hearts Ministry" to share what she has learned in Canada with her home culture.
A few tears glistened as Gisela gestured how she felt God was cradling her in His hands and she felt a sense of completion and peace that her time in Canada was done. Thank You, Father!
As I write, she will be almost to Toronto, where she has a couple hours before boarding the cross-Atlantic flight for Frankfurt, Germany. Nine hours later and then a final leg to Stuttgart, where she will immediately go to her new home, a private suite in a small retirement building for sisters.
Her life will change drastically, from the life she knew in Germany before, and now her new perspectives and freer schedule of retirement.
As Gisela can testify, God has gone before her every step of her journey. He is the same God here and there. Her Healing Hearts family will look forward to updates on how she will continue to serve her Lord.
Saturday 4 April 2015
Easter Greetings!
I am feeling both joy and sorrow.
Easter weekend always evokes this in me.
The Holy Week starts with jubilation as Jesus rides in to Jerusalem on a donkey. Crowds gather to celebrate the King with shouts and songs and palm branches!
Over the next days, Jesus gives the most meaningful teachings, speaking to crowds and to His own disciples with an urgency of one who knew His days were numbered.
I was reading the account of Mark's Gospel, being reminded of the betrayal, abandonment, mocking and utter abuse of every kind that Jesus endured. Culminating in Good Friday...another oxymoron in terms. Good for us, horrible for our gentle Saviour.
Now today is the day of waiting...the Jewish Sabbath when the followers of Jesus honoured God while knowing a funeral was coming. Mixed emotions for them, too.
I also know the end of the story! I have to set aside the joy to meditate on Christ's sorrow and sacrifice. But can't wait for Sunday morning ~ He will be risen, alive, gone from that tomb!
I feel both joy at having my family all home for Easter weekend.
I feel some sorrow at missing my Dad again...another family gathering without him.
But my comfort is in my Lord and Saviour...He also knows the human emotions of pleasure and sadness, celebrations and grief.
Today we will have our family Easter meal and tomorrow our church family celebration. I am so blessed and want to give my heart fully to the experiences and emotions of this holy season!
Time to get cooking and prepare for the family dinner and all that entails...
I am feeling both joy and sorrow.
Easter weekend always evokes this in me.
The Holy Week starts with jubilation as Jesus rides in to Jerusalem on a donkey. Crowds gather to celebrate the King with shouts and songs and palm branches!
Over the next days, Jesus gives the most meaningful teachings, speaking to crowds and to His own disciples with an urgency of one who knew His days were numbered.
I was reading the account of Mark's Gospel, being reminded of the betrayal, abandonment, mocking and utter abuse of every kind that Jesus endured. Culminating in Good Friday...another oxymoron in terms. Good for us, horrible for our gentle Saviour.
Now today is the day of waiting...the Jewish Sabbath when the followers of Jesus honoured God while knowing a funeral was coming. Mixed emotions for them, too.
I also know the end of the story! I have to set aside the joy to meditate on Christ's sorrow and sacrifice. But can't wait for Sunday morning ~ He will be risen, alive, gone from that tomb!
I feel both joy at having my family all home for Easter weekend.
I feel some sorrow at missing my Dad again...another family gathering without him.
But my comfort is in my Lord and Saviour...He also knows the human emotions of pleasure and sadness, celebrations and grief.
Today we will have our family Easter meal and tomorrow our church family celebration. I am so blessed and want to give my heart fully to the experiences and emotions of this holy season!
Time to get cooking and prepare for the family dinner and all that entails...
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