New life motto:  home is where the suitcase is!
After a full week in the Maritimes, I am again in the place of tiredness and thankfulness.  We slept in our own bed for 3 nights and here we are again in Prince Albert. So, we are "home" here now at our suite at the NCEM headquarters.
Walter had meetings booked this afternoon and had an agenda to prepare for his monthly Executive meeting tomorrow.  He is energized by the progress being made and the developing of leadership and team.  Where he could be physically tired from travel and the engagement with people on our time in New Brunswick, instead he seems more enthusiastic and energetic than I've seen him a a while!
Yes, I am physically tired.  Sleeping in different beds does take some adjusting.  And I am thankful for the good rest I did get over most of this past trip.  I was a bit drained from the emotional energy it took to connect with so many people and often to discuss some deep and intense issues.  But again, my heart is so grateful for the grace God gives me when I am in the moment.
It's almost like a tug'o'war.
I am torn between the longing to be home and have routine.  I feel the pull of Healing Hearts as our base and where I feel free to be "me."  Yet, I enjoy the adventure of the new relationships and the opportunity to minister hope and encouragement to dear servants of God.
On our trips, I am feeling more comfortable as I have input and can engage.  There is more clarity as to my role or calling as we connect with staff.  At the office, I feel less sure of myself, my usefulness and how I fit.  That aspect of our ministry is less defined for me because I so not have a title or specific role" in quite the same way Walter does.  So I am still fishing for that sweet spot.
Sunday morning, our intern at Healing Hearts Regina, Jordan, preached the sermon.  He spoke on the struggles in the Christian walk, and the expectation to be Christ-like but the battle to be consistent.  He shared a few Scriptures about the cost of following Jesus and the necessity to leave behind childish ways.  He emphasized the need to acknowledge our need for the Holy Spirit to be our sufficiency, because we can never be sufficient in ourselves!
This hit me!  I was at that place this weekend where I was so lacking in strength and felt unable to muster up the desire to drive 4 hours to the office again...I doubted the need for me to be there and that surely Walter didn't really require me for what he was doing this next week!  But the verse that really spoke to me was in 2 Corinthians 3:4-6.
"Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves...but our adequacy is from God,  who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant..."
If I am confident of God's call - which I am, and I am promised the adequacy for the task - through Christ, then I can step out by faith that God will encourage and equip me when I feel weak.
I don't want to resent my suitcase; I want to embrace my inadequacy so that God will be praised because it will be so obvious He is my strength!

I had lunch with my daughter yesterday - at Fuddrucker's!  It was a great mother-daughter date and I am so thankful for our conversation.  It got me thinking.  And God got me thinking, as well.
Now I am not saying that we dwelt on the negatives.
Our conversation did lead to the trials our family is going through, each of us to some degree at this time.  Mark and Amy are seeking God's path for their future and things haven't exactly turned out the way they had planned.  Her brother's sudden passing  and the closure of the ministry program they had been part of have changed the course of their life plans.
Daniel just found out he has a torn "labrum" - we all have them in our shoulders!  He will need surgery on his left shoulder, which will affect his work,  curling and plans to maybe buy a house.
Caylea's life was interrupted by cancer - and these treatments are a trial that seems so long!
Walter and I aren't specifically facing a trial, but as our children face their adult decisions and deal with obstacles, we feel it!  Our new ministry direction has its joys and its challenges-we need the Lord every moment as we face the newness of uncharted territory.
As I was getting ready for bed last evening, I turned to the next devotional reading and it was entitled "Being Prepared for the Worst of Trials".  Hmmm, is there a theme here?  The Scripture passage was in I Peter 5 and I read it with great interest.  The words seemed to jump out on the page right at me!
"And after you have suffered a little while.." (verse 10)
I think Caylea and I were battling with the "how long?" question and the self-pity could have become the main course of our lunch!  This Scripture reminded me of God's perspective.  Our suffering on earth is just for "a little while."  Eternity is around the corner and we will no longer endure the trials of the human experience.
"...the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ,.." God is full of grace and has called each of us to an eternity where we will be glorified just as Jesus Christ has been glorified.  We are promised eternal life; we are promised new bodies that will never die.  There will be no sorrow, no tears, no pain in our heavenly home.  But before we set our sights on that future glory, God is the God of ALL grace.  His grace is sufficient for all we are enduring.
"...will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."  The perspective that God has a purpose for our suffering and is personally involved to restore, to confirm, to strengthen and to establish you and me is an incredible promise!
I read that last night.  This morning, I woke early and wanted to connect with the Lord before a busy day and the anticipation of a week-long trip away from home.  I turned to Proverbs 16, which is where my morning readings have been.  And what do I read?
"Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established." (verse 3)
"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." (verse 9)
"The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord." (verse 33)
This just confirmed to me God's sovereignty over our lives and all that we are going through.  He establishes.  None of our sufferings are a waste, or a mistake in God's purposes.  I felt such reassurance that God is in control and we can trust Him fully and completely.
Our family is in His hands.

Two Weeks!!!!!
We ran into our front door, avoiding the downpour but needing to bring our luggage in!  It was good to be home after two weeks away and I felt almost teary to hug our kids and receive their Mother's Day gifts.  Although the unpacking of two weeks' worth of luggage and odds and ends was a daunting task, I was so happy to be home again!
Our travels took us to Prince Albert, Lac Vert, Lloydminister, Spruce Grove and Rivers' Edge Retreat Centre near Calgary.  Then back through Saskatoon and to the office in Prince Albert again.  We visited some dear retired NCEM missionaries, and also some former and currently active NCEM staff.  It seems God has blessed us with rich opportunities and we have been well-received.  As we listen to stories and experiences of these missionaries, we are gaining insight and hopefully applying it as wisdom in our role as director.
Then at the retreat centre, we had met with leaders from various native ministries and again, a rich time collecting wisdom from others.  Each leader shared a report on their ministry and how their organization is doing.  From Siberia and Mongolia to regions in South America, these groups were impacting indigenous peoples for Christ over such a broad geographical expanse!  When you get these kind of workers and leaders together, the tales are funny and sometimes tragic, but always enthralling to some of us "younger" ones in leadership.
Two themes that stuck out to us in the mission reports was the focus on discipling and the need for member care.  These are passions of our heart as well.  Disciple-making, with the intentional focus on raising Christian leaders who will form and lead churches.  And those churches may look like house Bible studies or fellowship groups that meet semi-regularly.  And member care, not just when crises hit and missionary families are in dire straits, but as ongoing, preventative care to sustain our staff for the long haul.
We returned to the office in P.A. and of course there is always lots to catch up on...I mail out birthday and anniversary cards to the staff of both our organizations and I write up brief reports on our visits and travel.  I also prepared for the "Ladies Staff Retreat" to be held at Silver Birch Bible Camp near Loon Lake, SK this weekend.  I shared on "Permission to Rest" and led a communion time on Sunday morning, using Psalm 23 as the basis.
A group of 5 ladies including myself, went from P.A. area.  Three other women participated from other areas and we had an intimate time of sharing, fun and a lot of eating at the retreat!  Joni, our HHM missionary from Loon Lake, had the vision for a time of rest for missionary and pastor women.  She planned the majority of the weekend's activities and I organized the meals and two messages.  God really met us.  We want to try it again next year, not on Mother's Day weekend!  And hopefully it won't rain next time - although we did manage some outdoor activities and even a fire, in spite of soggy wood!
Home again...to regroup and rest.  Walter has a few administrative things to tend to for HHM, and I hope we can see "Guardians of the Galaxy 2" tomorrow evening as a family!
Then we prepare for a week-long trip to the Maritimes to visit our NCEM staff in New Brunswick and Nova Scotia.
Thanks for praying for us and for following our journeys across Canada.

Review by Cindy M. Selke on Reflections by Spurgeon Root

The paperback book looked like an easy read.  Under two hundred pages should be a weekend’s worth of entertainment, or so I thought.  I underestimated the size of the book and the depth of the title.

Reflections is subtitled, “An Anthology of Power, Pain and Mourning” and no, the subject matter is not light or fluffy.  The four short stories build from the fictional and fantastical to the ferociously raw and real.  Let me begin the review with “The Way of Cain”.

In this short story, the main character is a hard-core gang member just released.  Not from a prison - for the crimes he committed - but from a mental institution.  “Adder”, also known as Jason, is a changed man.  The author brings the element of the fantastic to express the adjustment this “Demon” turned-normal guy faces re-entering society.  

As Adder discovers who he really is once he chooses to leave his old life, he comes face to face with his past, his crimes, his regrets and his true identity.  The persona one expects in a biker reveals someone too large for the real world, but the gentler “other world” has a surprising power that impacts the protagonist in this tale.  

“The Human Potential Movement” would definitely not be my genre of choice, but I am very glad I had the opportunity to delve.  As the opening scenes set the tone, I had the feeling I was watching a Marvel Comics movie.  The plot develops with the mad scientist character and the assistant with a conscience.  However, I was not sure of the cartoon “happy ending” as the powers of darkness truly seemed to overwhelm any wholesome or holy attempts to right them.  The “Institute of DNA Experimentation and Adaptation” - maybe not so clearly identified as I.D.E.A. throughout the remainder of the piece - becomes a hellish stage playing out the ultimate ends of good and evil.  The injections given the child subjects enhances not only the expected physical and mental capacities, but develop the spiritual DNA these children had from their parents.  Even those removed from their families at infancy had spiritual roots that were incredulously intact.  A fascinating premise which the author probes creatively, he concludes with a satisfactory resolution, although a predictable twist if one is familiar with biblical themes.

The third installment in the anthology is entitled “Bars”, and I was drawn in by the prison scenario.  Knowing the author personally, and his extensive experience behind bars in jail ministry, I immediately connected.  “Worm” is a tortured inmate.  I had hope for him when the young and compassionate guard sought to help relieve this poor incarcerated soul from his suffering.  The reader’s senses are heightened with the detailed descriptions of the old and new sections of the correctional facility - a very real place just north of where I live.  The “Hole” is especially dank and freaky; the author painted the picture!

Without revealing the best parts of the story, I will say that the author expresses a disturbing reality that those who seek to help the criminal element face great opposition.  Those who ought to have more compassion and those who should want to see change for the good of society are often those who refuse to support effective strategies for rehabilitation.  The author has captured this theme and the pain of the chaplaincy in bringing hope and change to the darkest places. An excerpt from Root’s own journal writings portrays a gut-wrenching prologue.

In reading the final portion, “Blessed are those who mourn”, I had to give myself a bit of a breather.  I knew this short story was written in response to the previous piece and I had to prepare my own heart for more.

The violence and destruction in the opening scenes and the mystery figure who shows up throughout the story, builds suspense in a most terrifying way.  Having some understanding of the trauma of war set the stage for the doctor’s civilian experience on returning home.  I was both enthralled and appalled with the description of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). In developing the characters, the author has used tremendous skill and understanding.  And humour - I enjoyed the ironies!

As the Mennonite doctor from a pacifist upbringing returns from war, he must reconcile his experience with his faith heritage and asks God, “Where were YOU?”  How the mystery figures works into this journey of discovery is well-woven.  And how the female character of Katrina is similar in her responses to Dr. Nick as Delcia is to Adder in the first story, brings the anthology full circle.

Reflections is an exploration of so much more than the power, pain and mourning Root opens up in these four pieces of writing.  I invite you to pick up a copy and discover a bit about the author himself and perhaps even a glimpse at your own soul in the process...