ONE YEAR AGO TODAY...
I awoke one year ago today anticipating a fairly average Monday.
A quiet morning on a typical day off, then we planned to attend the funeral of a family friend in the afternoon.  But the phone call at about 9:00 am changed that day and the weeks after that!
My step-mom sounded upset and desperate, asking us to come over to their apartment and try to "convince your father" to go to the doctor!  By the time we arrived, Dad needed an ambulance and didn't really give Walter any resistance to calling 9-1-1.  The paramedics arrived very quickly and within minutes, Dad went into cardiac arrest.
I always wondered how I would react if and when my parents would become seriously ill and/or pass away.  Surprisingly, I felt calm and could think and respond to the situation (along with Walter) as Dinah needed us!  I wasn't overly worried or anxious.  Somehow I knew this time would come.  Dad wasn't particularly healthy for a 70+ year old man but it still seemed too early to me.
Now, a year later, I was anticipating more emotion and grieving.  It has come off and on this summer, with the annual Queen City Exhibition and parade bringing a flood of memories and feelings of good times with Dad on the rides and midway.  And Dad always made or pulled a float in the parade since I was a kid.  This fall, as I see combines in the fields, I think of Dad waiting by the phone for the call to come and help harvest for some local farmers.  I'd feel the tears stinging and the lump in my throat as I knew Dad wouldn't be harvesting anymore.
This morning, I thought I'd journal and let my heart and memory go where they needed to as I processed Dad's sickness and passing.  But I was interrupted by a phone call.  Only after I took down the information and made three other phone calls, did I realize the special "coincidence" of this occasion: I was being informed of my fall square curling team!
Probably one of the single most influential and impacting places in my relationship with my Dad has been the Tartan Curling Club and the sport of curling.  Seeing Dad sit behind his desk as Manager of the Club for 33 years or hearing his voice over the crackly intercom to page a curler for a phone call are memories that won't quickly fade!  My love for curling and the interest and passion our kids have all inherited for the sport are due largely to Grandpa's influence.  He would watch my curling games-at least my shots-and give me advice once in a while!  He sponsored our children in the "Curl for Kids" program and would come to their competitions whenever possible.  He later coached our son, Daniel, in Junior Men's division of competitive curling in Saskatchewan.  Dad was the biggest fan!
Even when I'd be visiting Dad in the hospital, he knew I'd come before or after my curling game (the General Hospital is a few blocks from the Tartan). I'd be somewhat apologetic about cutting the visit short because of that but he wouldn't have it any other way.  "No, go curl!  I'm not going anywhere!" he'd say!

Rather than this phone call triggering more sorrow and mourning, I couldn't stop smiling!  How appropriate for the one year anniversary of Dad's admittance into the hospital than for me to begin preparing for another curling season.  It felt like a gift from the Lord just for me!
There will be other anniversaries and family gatherings and holidays that will trigger sadness and will emphasize the void Dad leaves in our celebrations.  Somehow I know God will provide some special comfort ~just for me.

"God is good...all the time!  All the time...God is good!  And God is great...all the time!  All the time...God is great!"
Our speaker at the 4th annual Healing Hearts Ministry Staff Conference was TV Thomas.  We were blessed to have him address our group with five messages that inspired and challenged us.  Each session TV began with these declarations and we grew to expect and engage enthusiastically in repeating them!
It was so evident that God showed Himself good to us throughout our conference.  I saw our staff making connections with each other and enjoying fellowship.  In groups of two or more, folks were chatting, playing games or taking walks.  It warmed my heart!
In our small sharing & prayer groups, I experienced the goodness of the Lord as we got to know each other better.  We could share in a more intimate setting some personal needs and be prayed for by our fellow servants in ministry.  God was good in opening us up to each other and building trust where sometimes we feel we need to "have it all together" as spiritual leaders!
Laughter!  What a delight to hear giggles and outright guffaws as we had fun together!  How good it was to play silly games in "Photo Scavenger Hunt" and "Minute to Win It" (mistakenly interpreted as "Mennonite to Win It"). Walter & I had to laugh at ourselves as our crazy staff posted the "Harlem Shake", Healing Hearts style, on Facebook!  Hilarious!
God showed His greatness in the beauty surrounding us at Strasbourg Bible Camp on Last Mountain Lake.  The sunsets were extravagant, the weather warm and sunny, the waterfowl peaceful and intriguing.  He showed Himself great as we worshiped together, singing of His glory and power, rejoicing in His salvation.  In the richness of God's Word, as TV spoke on the life and journey of Moses, I saw the great wisdom and sovereignty of our Lord and King!
A song we did sing a couple times throughout the conference was "10,000 Reasons", a wonderful expression of our hearts to our Father God.  If all 35+ in our gathering could share reasons to praise the Lord, we would almost reach 10,000!
One of the blessings I hadn't really expected was to see the MK's (missionary kids"), making friends with each other.  A couple of them remembered each other from last year's conference and reunited with obvious joy!  Watch out next year-they'll likely find ways to get into trouble together, too!
Thank You, Lord, for meeting with us in such tangible ways, for answering my prayers for a blessed time.  You never disappoint when we put our hope in You.
God is good, and He is great...all the time!  

                                          Healing Hearts Staff Conference-September 2014

It is amazing how a day or two can make a difference.
My last blog entry was from a place of near despair.  Today, I feel excited and eager to begin our Staff Conference out at Strasbourg Bible Camp!
God has brought all details together - as I knew He could but wondered how He would.
*Our childcare workers are all in place.
*The t-shirts, coffee mugs, water bottles and hoodies with our Healing Hearts logo all arrived or were picked up with one day to spare.
*We have enough rooms for accommodating our staff and guests.
*The weather forecast is for very pleasant weather.
*Our speaker is a tremendous man of God with truth for us this week.
I read Psalm 86 this morning and I could rejoice with David!  God is so gracious and forgiving and good and strong...I could declare with David the marvelous deeds that only our God can perform.  I felt the words of this psalm echoed my heart's cry for an undivided heart to worship and serve the living God!
The least I can expect is that God will show up at our conference and the most I want to expect is He will utterly take over and cause our gathering to be a revival that spreads from the camp to our home communities to the world!
Oh, Lord, hear our prayer!

Today was the "day after" a big event.  I felt tired and emotionally spent.  The excitement of the 20th anniversary celebration - with all the participating in the service, greeting people and helping put on the BBQ meal afterwards - drained away.  And I was left feeling "blah" about everything!
I wish I knew the secret to being calm and even-keeled.
Sometimes I get myself so worked up before a special occasion that I can hardly sleep.  Just like a kid on Christmas Eve!  Then I work like crazy during that day or two and exhaust myself completely.
At the same time, I don't want to be "ho-hum" about things that ought to bring great joy and pleasure in life.  I want to experience events, not just get through them!
So here I am - on the "day after" - and wondering how to recover.  Resting today was not really possible.  Company.  Daughter's medical appointment.  Preparing a couple meals.
I am thinking of Jesus' conversation with the Samaritan woman.  He promised her living water.  He told the woman if she drank this water, she'd never thirst again.
Then there is the reference to the psalmist being like a deer, panting for the Lord's refreshing.
And again, the image of pilgrims to Jerusalem, going from pools of water as from "strength to strength".
The Lord knows I am dry and empty.  He is aware of my spiritual and emotional tank being on "E"...not to mention the physical tiredness that is setting in.  I know my Shepherd will lead me beside the quiet waters to restore my soul.
Lord, I choose to give You my joy and thankfulness, as well as my fatigue.  I have celebrated; now I wait on You to fill up what was used up.
In a day or two, I will be ready for the next event:  Healing Hearts Annual Staff Conference!
'Lord, I am a vessel; use me as You will.  Make of me a vessel You can use and bless and fill."
(More of You by One Accord)

Ever since I was young - maybe 7 or 8 years old, I remember getting a kick out of church!  We used to attend with our Grandma and aunts and uncles in small town Saskatchewan.  I remember my sister, Paula, being given a coin for the offering and inevitably she would drop it and it would roll loudly on the hardwood floor.  Once I was old enough to read and know the Lord's Prayer, I would participate in the hymns and prayer.  Loudly!  My aunts and older cousins would snicker as they usually were more moderate in their singing and praying.
After church, we might go to Grandma's house and being Sunday afternoon, there wasn't much on television back then before satellite and cable options.  So Paula and I would set up a T.V. tray and Grandma's hymnal and "play church".  Must have been entertaining for the adults, our renditions of the songs and of the sermon!  Something about worship services resonated with me.
Fifteen or so years later, I would be participating in worship services myself, married to a pastor and learning to lead the singing.  I especially enjoyed planning theme or holiday services, which aren't all that often in any given calendar year.  But somehow, I got ideas and inspiration and loved to put together special events.
Then, in September, 1994, Walter and I, along with a few other couples and families, began a ministry in an inner city community centre.  This was more than "playing church".  It required commitment, effort, and spiritual fortitude to keep going when numbers were low or responses were slow.  As much fun as it was to plan the services at times, often I felt discouraged and overwhelmed.
As the ministry grew, I learned it required more than Sunday services to grow a church body.  There was visiting, late night phone counseling, picking people up for the services and hospital runs!  Then there were mid-week Bible studies, baptisms and baby dedications not to mention planning special events like Christmas programs and Thanksgiving dinners.
My Bible education and vocational training was put to good use in the first year of our church-planting endeavour; but God began to challenge me personally.  I  needed healing in my own heart.  I needed to engage in the healing journey before I could lead others.  So I took some counseling, some seminars, did some reading and even began to pursue a counseling degree.
In all of that, I experienced some amazing healing and deep times with my Lord.  I also wondered if the formal degree was necessary.  God directed me to hone my skills and lead small groups or do individual ministry with women in particular without the master's level in education.  What I saw was that the Lord did use me and He opened up the hearts of other women to trust me with their stories and their pain.  What a privilege and honour!
I am reminded of Luke 12:48b as I recall this journey in my life.  I was a young and inexperienced missionary and fairly new wife and mother of 3 toddlers as we began Healing Hearts Ministry.  And God somehow found me (us!) to be trustworthy enough to give this ministry a try.  Here is what Jesus said in this verse:   "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."
I feel this sums up the past 20 years for me.  God has given me many opportunities, blessed with me with many precious friends and entrusted me with a strong leader/visionary husband and 3 unique and gifted children!  But it has not been an easy road.  Much has been demanded and required of me, of our marriage and our family life in the process.  Oh, God has been faithful!  He has been our strength and protector!  He has provided everything we have needed.
I see this verse as not only a reminder of how the Lord has sustained us but a call to the future challenges as the ministry grows.  We will be called upon to travel, listen, give counsel, share truth, pray, pray, pray!  Much more than "playing church" on Sunday mornings!
I trust in the Lord to supply all I will need as He requires more and more for a fruitful ministry.