The alarm on my cell phone trilled its gentle song, beckoning me to rouse from a cozy sleep.  I blinked, trying to focus on the time.  7:20 am.  On a Saturday morning.
The sun was beginning to glow on the horizon.  Dark blue blended into pale yellow and orange with a dark pink along the ground.  I stared out my bedroom window, contemplating what I needed to do before we hit the highway.
I packed the food, wrapped gifts and my guitar into our car.  Walter joined me in loading the car and we backed down our driveway into the ever-brightening day.
Virtually no snow but a crystal covering of frost glistened on the fields of stubble as we drove north out of Regina. We like to take the backroads whenever we can to avoid the city traffic and stoplights.  We rode in silence for several miles.  Both of us were letting the coffee wake us up before we attempted conversation!
Walter played a Slacker Radio all-Christmas station as we drove to our first festive event of the season.  With no snow and unseasonably warm weather this fall, I certainly haven't felt in the "Christmas spirit" yet.  But as we drew closer to our destination near Melfort, with the music softly setting the tone, I knew I'd get into the mood once we saw all our NAIM family for the annual American Thanksgiving/Christmas party.
We were greeted by a few friendly faces and barking dogs welcoming us to the Alsbachs' farm.  The smell of wood smoke wafted our way.  As we walked in to the house, warmth and tasty aromas filled our senses.  Hugs, hellos and helpful hands assisted us in unloading our burdens and guiding us into the large meeting room.  Soon we were happily engaged in conversations with several of our co-workers of Saskatchewan. It was great to see everyone!
A table was ready to hold our potluck dishes and another was set up with coffee and other beverages.  We placed our gifts under a tabletop Christmas tree, ready for the crazy gift exchange.  The large garage-turned youth room was arranged with comfy couches, a wood stove and ping-pong table serving as a dining space with festive tablecloth adorning it.  Everything was prepared for this gathering.
Neal cleared his throat and welcomed us all.  He led in a prayer and then parents lined up with their children to dish up their plates.  It felt weird for us not to have our own children with us this year.  I remember them playing with their fellow MK's (missionary kids) and disappearing outside or in another part of the big house.  They could hardly wait for the gift exchange, as well.  Now we watched as the other families guided their kids and cleaned up spills!
We all enjoyed the delicious meal and no one sat in one place for long.  It was wonderful to mingle and catch up with everyone's lives, families, ministry and of course, hunting tales!
When we couldn't fit another morsel of dessert into our full tummies, Rick and I pulled out our guitars and music to accompany a carol-sing.  Folks called out favourites and we stumbled through the sometimes complicated chord progressions.  Of course, someone requested "The Twelve Days of Christmas" so we did a couple verses, then skipped to the twelfth verse and ran it down to the end.  The kids moaned in disappointment but that song is as bad as "100 Bottles of Pop on the Wall"!
The sun was lowering in the sky as the afternoon wore on.  No one was in a rush to leave.  Except those who hoped to catch some daylight and find that elusive deer before sundown.  So we continued on with the gifts and had a blast picking, stealing and trading until the last gift was opened.
Too soon, Walter gave me that knowing look as the signal that we needed to leave.  I helped Darcey wash up the dishes and then packed up our belongings.  It was hard to leave the pleasant atmosphere and connection with dear friends.  But the 2 1/2 hour journey back home in the waning light meant we'd be driving through some darkness.  More hugs and Christmas greetings and then we were back in our car.
Winding down the lane to the grid road beyond, I soaked in the memories and the pretty snow-covered surroundings.  We chatted and shared our day's experiences for a while.  Then Walter turned on a comedy station on the radio and we laughed our way home.
I spotted a couple deer near some round bales in the adjacent field.  I hoped they would stay there and not jump across our path.  The sky turned to lovely colours as we drove south again down the Number 6 highway.  By 7:20 pm, the bright lights of Regina were looming ahead of us.
So much to be thankful for.  So many people we have the privilege of serving with to reach First Nations communities with the Gospel.  So many years of memories of celebrations of Jesus' birth.
MERRY CHRISTMAS AND ENJOY THE HOLIDAY SEASON!

"There shall be showers of blessing-This is the promise of love;  
There shall be seasons refreshing sent from the Saviour above.
Showers of blessing, showers of blessing we need;
Mercy drops round us are falling, but for the showers we plead."

I started this day, this new week, singing this song!
What right do I have to expect any blessings at all from my Father?  What have I done to deserve the very good life I have?  Who is to be "blessed" by God and how does that happen?
The first Scripture that came to mind was Psalm 84:12 ~ "O Lord of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in You."  So trust is part of the relationship between the Lord and the one He blesses.
Psalm 1:1 popped into my head ~ "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;  but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates day and night."  I see how the one who delights in the Word of God and turns away from sin and the lifestyle and identification with the sinful will be blessed.  Being in fellowship with others who desire to follow God is crucial.
The very end of Job was on the page before Psalm 1 and my eyes caught the word "blessed" once again!  Job's journey was all about figuring out the connection between the Creator God and those who worshiped Him.  Why do hardships come on the faithful?  What is God's formula for blessing?
"And the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning...." ~ Job 42:2a  God never did explain Himself or Satan's request to test Job.  God chooses to bless in His wisdom and lavish love.  No explanation required!
Looking in my concordance, I found some New Testament references.
James 1:12a ~ "Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial..."  God does reward those who stand firm when tested.  It doesn't seem to be about perfect performance on the part of the human, but about the heart and attitude and faith of the individual in his Maker.
As I searched for another Scripture, Ephesians 1:3 stirred my heart.  "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places..."  How awesome!  Even richer is this blessing than Job's cattle and sheep (although the restoration of his family cannot be compared)!  Every spiritual blessing includes so much that is no comparison to earthly treasures and provisions.  Joy, peace, forgiveness, healing, wisdom, understanding of God's Word, connection of prayer, restoring of broken relationships...the list continues and I could never exhaust the resources of heaven that God has given us access to through Jesus our Lord!  My heart is overwhelmed; my cup overflows!
A few weeks ago, a good friend of mine was speaking to a group of women on the "Blessings of Obedience" as she experienced God's lessons in living and serving for 11 months in Uganda.  Her Bible text was in Deuteronomy 28 and I highlighted verse 2 today:
"And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord."  I know this almost looks like a formula, a set of conditions as you read the entire book of Deuteronomy.  Kind of like the consequences for action principles.  We see God as a formidable judge, keeping score of our right and wrong actions and rewarding or punishing accordingly!  But I see it more like a loving, approachable Dad, with an armful  of presents and very good gifts, wanting to give them to us.  And when we disobey and turn away from Him, we are the ones refusing to receive, distancing ourselves from the good things God has for us.  It breaks His heart to see us in rebellion or disobedience and missing out on the merciful goodness He wants to bless us with!

"There shall be showers of blessing, if we but trust and obey; 
There shall be seasons refreshing, if we let God have His way.
Showers of blessing, showers of blessing we need; 
Mercy drops round us are falling,
But for the showers we plead."  (Daniel W. Whittle/James McGranahan)

Have a blessed week, family and friends!  I know I will.

I've been reading "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" by Peter Scazzero, a pastor of a huge congregation in New York City.  Some of his book is basics I have heard before.  I felt like the beginning was pretty elementary and I wanted to get to the meat of the issues.  Well, when I hit a chapter entitled "Journey through the Wall", I felt like I had actually hit a wall!  I could see myself and many others as at that stage in our life's journeys.  I know I've hit walls before and had a measure of success in working through my fears, or anxieties, or blocks that were there.  But many of us have more than one issue to face...and I could really relate to this chapter.
Then I coasted along through some other chapters and could agree with the premises of looking back in order to move forward.  Many of Peter's applications are very practical.  Dealing with grief and loss.  Learning to face conflicts and not be false peacemakers.  Listen, communicate clearly, don't make assumptions about others, be realistic about expectations on ourselves and others.
The author also wrote about the practices of Sabbath and Daily Office for personal rest and spiritual connection with God.  This coincided with the book I had read earlier this year, "The Rest of God" by Mark Buchanan.  We need to be emotionally healthy in order to be spiritually mature.  And we need to practice spiritual disciplines in order to become mature and maintain emotional health.  It makes sense.
The main goal in seeking to be emotionally healthy and spiritually mature is to honour and love God.  The second goal is like it, to love and relate to others well.  Sounds just like Jesus' words to the Jewish man who asked which commandment was most important...Matthew 22:37-40.
A couple of meaningful quotes the Pastor Scazzero includes in his book are from some spiritual greats we may be familiar with:
"...loving one person at a time." ~ Mother Theresa
"Love is..."to reveal the beauty of another person to themselves..." ~ Jean Vanier
We can measure a person's maturity by how well they love.  An infant is very self-focused, loving himself most and not really concerned with others' needs or wants. A child will have some awareness of others and try to relate to others in as much as they meet their needs.  An adolescent is still often preoccupied with himself, defensive and poor in dealing with conflict.  But the adult - emotionally - will be able to communicate clearly what they need, be able to listen to others' struggles and be caring and respectful.  They can resolve conflicts, stay in relationship with others, take responsibility for their own thoughts and feelings and not use people for what they can get but can have mutual give and take with an appreciation for who the person is.
The truth is, "people may be, chronologically, forty-five years old but remain an emotional infant, child or adolescent."  (page 178)  I don't want to stay in any of those stages.  I can see a lot of myself in the adolescent stage yet and it's a little embarrassing to think I am not as mature as I'd like others to think I am!
I have a couple more chapters to finish and some exercises in the appendix section.  Hopefully this book and what I am learning can be a useful and helpful tool as Walter and I seek to coach and encourage our staff with Healing Hearts Ministries, Inc. in becoming all they can be in Christ!

"I love You, O Lord, my strength." ~ Psalm 18:1
I read this verse in my devotions the other morning.
Thirty years ago, I was a freshmen student at Canadian Bible College, with a sweet roommate named Paula.  She had grown up in a Christian family, was raised going to church and really was a lovely person.  I felt in such contrast with her:  only a Christian follower for 3 years, barely knew my Bible and had a broken family that I was not sure how to relate to!
I remember Paula sharing this Scripture from Psalm 18 as her favourite verse.  It seemed very intimate and close with the Lord.  The words were simple, yet deep.  And I couldn't relate to her.
Looking back, I can see my relationship to God was still pretty formal and official.  I loved to worship, but God was big, distant, and holy.  I needed to please Him.  It was hard to say "I love You", to the Lord; it felt awkward and silly somehow...
How sad!  I longed for the kind of closeness my roommate seemed to have with her Saviour but I didn't know how to do that.
But when I read this verse now, I can draw such comfort and delight from the words.  God has been my strength over and over.  He is my Lord.  I do love Him!  I have grown in my understanding of who He is and I have come to trust Him with very deep and personal parts of my life.  How different to meditate on this Scripture and not feel it to be a foreign concept!
Thank you, Paula, for bringing that verse to my attention so many years ago and blessing me with your gentle and quiet testimony.

The weekend has been quiet for the Selke family!
We've spent a lot of time on the couch, watching a Grand Slam curling event on TV and switching to CFL semi-finals on another sports station.  It feels good to rest; but now I'm beginning to get antsy.  Especially since the weather is unseasonably warm and pleasant for mid-November.  But in all our excitement, Walter is still experience pain and tenderness in his abdomen and I caught a cold. So the couch it is!
No news from Caylea and the "Ensenada Experience" team.  We assume no news means they successfully crossed into Mexico and are happily going about their ministry!  They will be performing musically, sharing testimonies and having conversations with folks in Rehab centers, jails and other venues that a man named "Ricardo" will book for the team.  I am anxious to hear how things are going...
Daniel has moved back home this weekend.  Somehow his belongings that used to fit into a relatively small bedroom and a few sports items in the basement now take up the lower level of our house. Things are in constant motion and flux in our household!
We usually hear from Mark and Amy every week or two but I think they are preparing for the move from the camp in Quebec to another "One Hope" camp near Blind River, Ontario.  I am sure they are busy and will connect when they have opportunity.
Again, the lesson for me in the past week has been to learn to wait on the Lord and trust Him alone.  I cannot trust in myself.  I have no power to heal gall stone attacks!  I cannot trust in my husband when he is the victim of a health issue.  I cannot trust in the medical professionals as they also are just human.  My hope must be in God.
This week as I had begun with a personal retreat time at our cabin on Katepwa Lake, I had spent significant time meditating on the Names of God and the Scriptures describing His nature and character.  It was so good to have that as my foundation for the challenges ahead, to remind me WHO is in control and WHO I can ultimately trust.
As we wait for a call about surgery, I realize we are waiting for God's timing and I know He will not make a mistake.  It will not be too early or too late.
God will be "right on time"!
Have a good week, my friends!

Wow!  The past 3 days have been very different from what I expected!
We were enjoying our time with Caylea home.  I had supper prepared and we had invited Grandma Dinah to join us for the meal and a visit.  We had a game of cards going.
But Walter wasn't feeling very well and chose to sit out the card game.
As we were about to sit down to supper, Walter came down to the dining room and said, "Maybe someone can take me to the hospital."
We jumped into action!  Daniel got up from the table and offered to take his Dad.
I made sure Walter had all he needed for the journey.
They drove off and us ladies sat down again, not as eager to eat as we had been.  I said the grace, praying for Walter's health and for the medical help that he needed.
Before we had finished our meal, Daniel walked in the door.  We all stared, not comprehending why he'd be back so soon.  But Walter had insisted that Daniel go back home and have supper.  "No use ruining everyone's evening," Walter had said
So after finishing up and clearing the table, Grandma went home.
What to do?  I just couldn't imagine leaving Walter alone at the ER.  The last gall stone episode had lasted over 12 hours and I wanted to be with him.  But Caylea was to be meeting the group at 5:30 am to leave for her trip to Mexico.
Thankfully, Daniel stepped up and offered to drive her to the Roots' house and then head to work at 6:30 am.  I was so relieved to have that all looked after.  So I went to the hospital.
I found my very ill husband in a room in the back with 3 other ER patients.  So not ideal!  But he was on an IV, had morphine in his system and was at least being looked after.  But for the next 5 hours, we waited...waited for blood tests, an X-ray, and the hopes that Walter would be deemed emergent enough to warrant surgery!  But no, at 2:30 am the nurse/doctor sent Walter home.  The doctor had ordered an ultrasound and they would call us in the morning with the time to return to the hospital for that test.  Walter's pain had subsided but I wasn't convinced this was over.
So we dragged ourselves home and into our bed.
Two hours later, Caylea was up and leaving for her 2-week trip to Ensenada but I was too beat to get up and even hug her good-bye!  I felt guilty, but soon was sleeping again.
The phone rang at 8 am - the ultrasound appointment was at 11 am.  So we had another couple hours to sleep before that.
Day 2 of the ordeal was spent waiting 8 hours for the ultrasound results.  No food or water and no IV of fluids for Walter because we thought (and were advised not to) that surgery was still possible.  Alas, after waiting endlessly in the ER, then back in the "streaming waiting room", a surgical resident intern called Walter into a examination room.  After a run-down on the previous gall bladder attack and the appointment with a surgeon 2 months ago, the intern got the picture and was astounded.  In fact, he was frustrated on our behalf because we had waited all day with the hopes of surgery and there was little chance of that happening.
The upside of the ordeal is that this surgical resident had been in the O.R. with the surgeon Walter is to have perform the gall bladder operation.  He was going to give the report to the doctor directly, plus talk to her about Walter's case.  The surgeon would be on-call on the weekend.  Also, if  Walter were to have another severe attack like this, we now have the surgeon's office number and will NOT have to go through ER and all the run-around that got us nowhere!  Yeah!
So today, we have been spending the day at home, resting, being mindless, replenishing our fluid and food intake.  But no word from the surgeon's office.
The plans we had to travel this weekend were cancelled.  Although life must go on, I am relieved that Walter chose to recuperate rather than push through.
And we wait...and pray for God to open the way for surgery so Walter will not have to go through another episode like this again!

She's home for a day!
Our daughter, Caylea, has been away on drama tour with "Upside-Down Productions" since September.  We've missed any performances that were nearby and she was unable to be home even for Thanksgiving!  So for us to have her home - brief visit that it is - will be wonderful!
Before she decided to join up for the winter tour, Caylea had committed to a missions trip through our church "Ensenada Experience".  Thus, her Dad booked a flight for her to come home and have a day to prepare for this adventure to Mexico.
Seeing her smiling face at the top of the escalator at the YQR Airport made me grin like the lonely Mama that I am!  I hugged her tight.  It is precious to hold our grown kids and try to convey the love and pride and joy we feel for them.  But she had pent up energy from all the "snacks" West Jet provides on their flights.   So she bounded to the carousel to retrieve her bag and off we went, homeward bound!
She talked non-stop about the friends, the places they performed, the annoyances and the thrills of life on the road.  She passed on greetings from folks that know us, as well!  She was amazed at how small Canada seems, geographically and relationally, as so many people recognized her name or our family at various churches and Bible Colleges they had visited.
I warmed up leftovers for her as she kept up the constant chatter.  I was a happy Mom!
Now, I wait somewhat impatiently for Caylea to emerge from her hibernation~the time is so short and she will be busy repacking, buying health insurance, probably making a trip to Walmart, and having a family supper.  All too soon she will be leaving for a 30-hour van ride to Ensenada, Mexico on the Baja Peninsula.  I am so thankful and pleased that she has a heart for ministry and a love for Jesus.  I wouldn't want to keep her home, just to satisfy my selfish loneliness for my little girl.  But I will treasure this time with her...
Lord, keep her in your care!

"CABIN IN NOVEMBER"
Winding road, car curving with the shoreline along the lake-
gray,
silvery reflection of a dull sun.
Turning into the driveway,
tires crunching on leaves and broken twigs-
bare,
leafless branches of November.
Opening the car door, stepping onto crisp remnants of summer foliage.
Earthy scent rose to my nostrils-
inhaling autumn.
Quick check of cabin and outhouse:
bits of rag, insulation, toilet tissue-
Squirrels!
Tidying the evidence, salvaging what I could; nailed the chewed entrance shut.
Turning the heat on,
I take a walk and let the cabin heat up.
Carrying I-Phone for Scripture and camera:
capturing dried berries, rusted springs, chipmunk,
viewing the lake, serene and smooth.
Retraced path; waved to passing septic trucks and random cars.
Back to warm, cozy cabin.
Breaker blew!
Oven and electric heaters on same line-
Flipping errant breaker; soup on the stove.
Bzzz...lazy flies awaken in the unexpected warmth.
Honk, honk!
Invisible flock of Canada Geese - close my eyes to absorb the song of the migration.
Blessed!  So blessed!
Click, click.
The stove element crackles under the dishwater.
Almost ready to go.
Not quite.
4 pm.
Gonna get dark soon.
Linger.
Remember!

"You are precious and honoured in my sight..." ~ Isaiah 43:4a (NIV)
This statement is a message from God Himself to the people of Israel.  Isaiah the prophet was inspired of the Holy Spirit to speak it to the original audience of Jews, a defeated nation who were suffering due to their own sins.  Much of the book of Isaiah is chastisements and explanations of God's judgment because of their rebellion against Him.
But this verse is in contrast to the harsh descriptions of consequences for sin.
As I've been meeting with a dear lady who is a mentor to me, I have been learning what it means to be a woman in ministry.  She readily shares her life lessons, daring to be transparent before me with her successes and her failures.  Her ministry along with her husband was during an era in evangelical Christian culture (in Saskatchewan, Canada) when women were wives, mothers and only beginning to be recognized in careers outside the home.
At one point in her journey, she was invited to speak at a women's gathering.  Circumstances surrounding her life and family were less than perfect, and she felt like a lost cause, hopeless.  She felt utterly unworthy to be standing in front of many respectable and dedicated Christian women.  How could she, when her own world seemed in such a mess?
Her teenage son came home and enthusiastically asked. "Mom, how's your message coming along?  Are you already for the ladies' meeting?"
With head down, she said, "Son, I'm not going."
"What?  Of course you're going.  Are you sick?  What's wrong?"
"I just can't!"  And this dear woman proceeded to give her reasons - and excuses - for disqualifying herself from this ministry opportunity.
Incredulously, the young man took his mother's hands, sat her down, and said,"Mom, look at me." She complied, hesitantly meeting his gaze.
"Mom, when God looks at you, who does He see?"
She stumbled over answers, ready to describe how God must see her mistakes and her shame.
But the wise young son, having grown up in this ministry home, boldly declared to his hurting mother, "No!  God looks at you and He sees Jesus!"
I know this must have been a monumental turning point in her life, because she has shared it several times with me in the last months that we've been getting together.  Needless to say, she cried, thanked her son and continued to prepare her talk for the women with a new vision.  God had called her to speak and she didn't have to be perfect in order to be used by Him!  But she had to be willing and humble and vulnerable to share honestly with others and not worry about presenting the polished, minister's wife facade.
I share this story to illustrate the verse from Isaiah.  Israel was not perfect.  Their history was fraught with disobedience, idol worship, moral failures and compromise of God's Word.  The cycle of sin, disaster, repentance and then restoration went on for hundreds of years before God finally allowed enemy armies to overtake His people.  But when He looked at Israel, He looked through the future coming of the Promised One, Jesus the Messiah.  He saw the blood of Christ, shed not only to cleanse but completely cancel the debt of sin.
You see, God's love and commitment to His children does not cease when we blow it.  He values us because we are precious to Him.  He honours us because of our relationship to Him, not because of our good deeds or our flawless performance.  We are created in His image and are made worthy through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
I am thankful for my mentor's example of humility.  She took the words of truth from her son's heart and was willing to change her heart and carry on.
Lord, teach me to be ever teachable.  Show me how to live in the truth that I am precious and honoured in Your sight, no matter how I feel about myself or how others may view me.  Your love and blessing is all that counts right now and into all eternity.
Thank You, Jesus, for giving your all for us, for me.

Standing in the large gymnasium at Nipawin Bible College, I wondered what God had in mind for our weekend at the college's Missions weekend.  Our booth, a table right by the entrance to the gym, was a very handy location.  I arranged the pamphlets about our ministry, filled the candy bowls and straightened the red "Healing Hearts Ministry" pens.  I took a deep breath and prayed for the divine appointments I was preparing to have.
Two students bounced up to our table, one I recognized from the freshmen class who came to Regina for ministry practicum last year.  We had a nice little chat and the young lady introduced her friend, *Carrie (name changed).  I asked some of the usual introductory questions:  "Where are you from?  How did you come to be a student at the school?"  Soon, Carrie began telling me her story.
During highschool, she found life at home to be unbearable, and was not being treated well, so she moved in with her friend (daughter of a single mom).  They attended a local church and brought her with them.  Carrie accepted Christ almost right away and became involved in the church and youth group.
Her friend and mother moved out of province, leaving Carrie without a home once again.  She approached a young couple she knew, who took some time to pray before opening their home to her.  So Carrie moved in and was able to finish her grade 12 at the same school.
A few from the local church had gone to NBC in Nipawin and Carrie felt God was leading her there after highschool, as well.  So with no family support, no real home to be returning to, she was at Bible school, seeking what God had for her future...
At lunch the next day, Walter invited a young man to eat at our table.  He was in his second year at the college and had caught a ride to Regina with our daughter last year during a school break.  As Walter drew out this young fellow's background and story, we found he had been raised in various foster homes since infancy, lastly residing in a group home.  I don't recall how he heard about Nipawin Bible College, but he was enjoying life at school.
We asked *John (again, name changed) what he did last summer then, not having a home to return to, and he said he had spent the entire four months at a Bible Camp.  He, too, was studying and waiting for the Lord to show him what direction to go...
As we packed up our display and loaded up our car at the conclusion of the missions conference, our hearts were heavy with the obvious needs of these two young people.  What do we do with what we knew about their stories?  How did God want us to respond?
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?