Weariness.

Have we all felt that heavy, leaden weight of weariness?  That deep exhaustion that depletes all life and energy?  Not just a physical tiredness that results from a good day's work, but a weariness of soul that sucks hope from within.

Weariness can be so overwhelming that we can wish to crawl into our safe beds and never come out again to face our world.

Surviving the second year of a pandemic, we can lose the sense of hope for a normal world.  We can become so discouraged that we just shrug our shoulders and say "What's the point?  Why even try?"  

This morning I was spending my quiet time with the Lord, feeling tired physically because we have been up late and having lots of family fun for the holidays!  The verse of the day was Psalm 23:3a "He restores my soul."  I had to slow myself down, settle my thoughts and will my body to stop.  I could then meditate on the words of Scripture.  I realized I have been going hard for the past while.  Not just preparing for Christmas, or traveling for our ministry but "going hard" dealing with change, new roles, spiritual battles and personal pain!  Add to that the restrictions imposed by vaccine/no vaccine and navigating the realities of our cross-Canada ministry, I was feeling overwhelmed.  And weary.

What if nothing goes back to normal?  What if many around me continue to live in fear of the COVID-19 virus and all its variants?  What if I succumb to the fears around me and just want to hide?  The devil would love for me to give in to fear and make decisions based on others' opinions.  But both Walter and I have determined to base any and all decisions we make personally and for our ministry based on the truth, on God's Word.  We will seek the Lord to guide us clearly and not move forward on any decision unless we sense His leading and the peace that accompanies God's wisdom.  

We will carry on in 2022.

The news may burden us with statistics and the interviews may influence us with their narrative.  But God's Word will never fail us.  His truth will override any mere human perspective on a pandemic, on politics or anything else affecting life on earth.  When God promises that He is in control, I believe Him!  I have hope because God knows the future and He can override rulers, powers and human decisions by His authority.  I have nothing to fear except my own foolishness and weakness.  And even in that He give me grace: He forgives my foolishness and provides strength for my weakness.  

If you are feeling weary, look to the God of Heaven.  He has sent His Son to be our Rescuer.  He has sent the Holy Spirit to guide us and reside right within our weary soul!  May you experience His rest, His presence, His peace and His awesome power to overcome the weight of worry and fear.  

"He restores my soul."  Psalm 23:3a

"Come to me, all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."  Matthew 11: 28

 The last couple of mornings at home have been pure delight.  

Cup of coffee, natural gas "wood" stove on, Christmas tree lights creating ambience as I listen to a devotional.  Luke chapter 1.  The pre-Christmas events leading up to the birth of the baby Jesus.

I have read and re-read this account.   Pastor Bill has ministered with daily devotionals and gives leadership to at least two or maybe three Churches in the Yorkton area.  Some of the insights he shared have really blessed me as I focus on preparing my heart for  Christmas.

Gabriel appeared to Zechariah.  Who would have guessed that while Zechariah was going about his normal duties at the temple, he was chosen by lot to offer the incense.  The burning of incense was part of the worship, symbolizing the prayers of God's people rising up to Him.  I never noticed before that when the angel spoke to Zechariah, he said, "Do not be afraid, Zechariah, for your prayer has been heard..." (Luke 1:13).  So what was Zechariah praying?

We assume he was praying for a son.  And yet, the announcement of Elizabeth becoming pregnant and having a son did not produce the joy or assurance we would expect.  

Was he praying the rote prayers of the Jewish faith?  Maybe he was reciting the psalms and the ritual words repeated by every priest.  But the angel specifically acknowledged that Zechariah's prayer had been heard...what prayer?

I am not that knowledgeable about the Jewish religious practices, but I know that the one prayer that was always offered, the one longing of every believing Hebrew, is for the Messiah.  The One promised to deliver Israel.

In promising a child to Zechariah and Elizabeth, this was part of the fulfillment of the coming of the Messiah.  Their son was a miracle.  And he wasn't going to be named for his father or any other family name.  The angel declared he would be named "John."  He would turn many in Israel toward the coming Messiah and prepare the way.  

An answer to prayer!  John would be born and then the Messiah would come!

Pastor Bill also shared the appearance of Gabriel to Mary, the mother of Jesus.  He noted how Zechariah was doubtful of the angel's pronouncement that he and Elizabeth would bear a son in their old age.  He bore a consequence for doubting: silence for the duration of the pregnancy!  To contrast, Mary responded with a question about "how" she could become pregnant when she was still a virgin.  She did not doubt God, but wondered at the logistics.  She wanted to be part of  the Lord's plan for the redemption of Israel.  She surrendered.  She trusted.

The Christmas story will never grow old to me!  I hope you also, find great joy in the mystery of the Incarnate Christ, the Son of God and son of man.

 Well, I haven't finished writing and sending my Christmas cards..

I haven't bought a single Christmas present.

Apart from our tree being up and decorations in place, I just haven't done much in the spirit of the holiday season.  But as I am at this moment in Prince Albert finishing up the last Executive meeting of 2021 and other responsibilities for NCEM, I need to stay focused on the tasks at hand.

Tomorrow, we will celebrate at a "South American Fiesta" Christmas party with our NCEM headquarters staff.  We have gone to one other holiday event, yet somehow I still feel outside the typical build up to Christmas.

I think one reason for the unusual feelings is that our son, Daniel is getting married on January 1!  We are thinking of his big day, our part in preparing smoked pork ribs and invest in the wedding festivities.  So we have pared down our usual Christmas day gifts and abundance of baking and special dishes.  Our focus is on this once in a lifetime celebration for Daniel and Michaela.  

I think once I am home and can set aside formal ministry, then I will be able to concentrate and get in the spirit of Jesus' birth.  I am participating in our church Christmas Eve service and leading worship on Sunday (Boxing Day). That'll be so wonderful!  and with keeping our Christmas celebrations simpler this year, I will have more time and emotional resources to just enjoy.

My longing is for quiet moments to think on Christ.  To read Scripture, to enjoy Christmas carols and to focus on prayer for family and friends is my heart's desire.  So having less to do these next two weeks will leave me more energy for the wedding!  

I'm pretty sure Jesus is okay with my revised priorities this year.  He is pleased when we are at peace and find our rest and joy in Him.  Lord, help me lean on You!