As I sat with my hot cup of coffee, ready to spend my quiet time with the Lord, I remembered that there were a couple prayer chains I needed to update with Caylea's surgery date information.  I opened my e-mail on my phone to quickly send the update.  Pleasantly I found several personal messages that I had not checked over the weekend.
I read each one, responding briefly to the encouraging and uplifting words with a message in return.  My heart was full of gratitude for the outpouring of love and prayers and care from fellow missionaries and family who took the time to write an e-mail.
A few minutes later, I opened my Bible and paused before choosing the passage I would read.  I already felt I had been ministered to and fed spiritually before even focusing on the Lord in a formal way.  He was filling up my cup!
"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."
 ~ I Thessalonians 5:11
"...my cup overflows."  Psalm 23:5c
I have said this several times lately, but it is so true:  I don't know how people who do not have faith in the Lord ever make it through difficult times like illness and death.  Without the Lord, without the support of a faith community, I just cannot imagine the helpless, hopeless and fear-filled experience this would be.
Thank You, Father in heaven, for the gift of encouragement You gave me first thing this morning!
Bless those who have been used by You to lift us up!

This second week in our journey with Caylea's cancer diagnosis has gone very differently than the first.
The appointment with Dr. Kurtz was helpful but not as definitive as we thought.  We found out Dr. Kurtz will be the surgeon removing some lymph nodes (found along the neck and under the armpit).  A cosmetic surgeon, Dr. Chang, will be taking the tissue from around the site of the mole (also needing to take a graft from her thigh for the repair of that site).  Once the surgery takes place and the sample nodes and tissue has been tested, then we will have more idea at what stage the cancer is or is not.
Caylea went ahead with going up to Nipawin for the graduation exercises.  Why not?  Life goes on and she feels normal and fine.  She came home Monday with her car and all her stuff that had been stored during her drama tour.  Also, she brought home a young man to visit for the week.  Kevin, the leader of the Upside Down Drama Productions ministry, seems to be interested in our daughter and so we've become acquainted with him this week.  Like I said, life goes on!
Midweek, Caylea received a call to say the surgery is set for May 5.  She'll have some pre-op preparations on May 4 and then the procedures the next day.  Again, this date works out perfectly with the plans Caylea had made before the diagnosis.  She planned to fly to Ontario to meet Kevin's family and that can still happen.  This news put a big smile on her face!
Also, Walter and I had a couple trips planned to visit our Healing Hearts staff and we are able to make those commitments with a couple days to spare.
So, I am so relieved that this second week has been less shocking and less

raw with emotion.  I'm not going to say that we are fully in acceptance mode, but some "normal" has returned to our home and our day to day routine.
I praise the Lord for answering our prayers for peace and strength to cope with this new reality.
I am so thankful for how the surgery date allows us to carry on with life and ministry to a degree.
I am very aware that the grace I felt that first week was such a gift from the Lord.  I don't feel that exact same sustaining sensation, but this second week I have still been blessed with Scriptures and with the encouragement of praying family and friends.
We still have to wait for the surgery and results to really know what Caylea's future holds.  But I am holding on to a verse in 2 Peter that speaks to me:
"But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ." (3:18a)
This experience is the opportunity for Caylea to grow in grace and knowledge in her spiritual journey.  As parents, it is also our opportunity for growth, for maturing, for faith to increase as we trust God with our daughter.
Lord, help us grow in You.  Show us more of Yourself as we wait and trust...

Today is Friday, the end of a long week in our lives!
Caylea was able to get blood work done on Monday, and to meet a plastic surgeon, Dr. Chang.
Tuesday Caylea was informed that her CT scan would be Thursday morning and she would need to fast.  And we waited...
Wednesday, our wonderful family doctor, Sylvie Jones, called with good news that her blood tests looked fine and no signs of infection.
Thursday, I took Caylea across town to the Pasqua Hospital radiology department, where she had her CT scan.  (She was told that the IV dye injected into her would give a warm sensation, then make you feel like you wet yourself.  Apparently that is exactly how it felt and Caylea got a kick out of that!)
Today, is the appointment with the general surgeon, Dr. Kurtz, who will be performing a surgical procedure to check out more of the tissue around the site of the mole.  Hopefully with the blood test and CT scan results, we will know something more about the extent of the cancer and the next steps.
Each morning, Walter and I have felt the doubts and lies and anxiety creep in.  By prayer, we've been able to overcome that heaviness and dread.  Now, as we wait for this appointment today (at 10:30 am), we can both testify to the victory in Jesus over every thought!  Whatever the news, whatever the journey, we know God is in control, not the enemy!
Caylea has been very positive throughout this trying week.  Maybe a touch of denial, but mostly she has had family and friends around to support and to talk to and through the emotional side of things.  Walter said, "I think she is handling this better than her parents!"
This morning, I read a "verse of the day" and it was Hebrews 11:6.
"It's impossible to please God apart from faith.  And why?  Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that He exists and that He cares enough to respond to those who seek Him."
The thought struck me as I meditated on the meaning of this verse:  I have spent years seeking the Lord.  God has met with me over and over and I've enjoyed wonderful times in His Word, in sweet fellowship, in worship, in prayer.  I've spent times seeking Him and come up empty, dry and disappointed, as well.  There are seasons of joy and seasons of drought and I know I have had the normal human experience in seeking God.
The amazing part of today's journey seems to me that I don't feel like this difficult trial we are going through is a punishment or test.  I feel like its a reward!  Am I crazy?  
Somehow all the rich times and even dry times in Jesus have stored up to bring me to the place that I have an abundance.  I feel the grace of God carrying me, the prayers of His people sustaining me, the promises from Scripture strengthening me.  I don't feel overwhelmed by the trial, but I feel like the Lord is rewarding me with all His love and resources.  He is responding to me because He cares for me and my family!
I do believe that He exists.  I do believe that He rewards those who seek Him.  And the rewards far outweigh the pain, spiritual battle and desire to spare our daughter the journey ahead.
Lord, in the appointment today, please give us all we need to bear whatever news we receive.  We will give You thanks and praise!  

With tear-filled voice, Pastor Bob spoke into the cordless microphone.  The congregation rose and moved as one to where we sat in the sanctuary.  We felt the gentle touch of hands as our church family gathered around us to pray.  This is a scene we often see and have been a part of to support and encourage those who share a need during our sharing time on Sunday mornings. But this time it was our family who needed the circle of prayer.
On April 5, our daughter Caylea had an appointment in Saskatoon to have a mole examined.  She noticed it growing and changing, so had a referral from our family doctor to a specialist.  Being on the road with Upside Down Drama Productions this past winter meant she was away from home, with Nipawin being her home base.  So, she went to the appointment, expecting to simply have the mole removed, then fly to Edmonton to rejoin her drama team in two days.  Her friend from Saskatoon was able to take her to and from the appointment, and have her stay the nights at her place.
But it wasn't to be that simple.
The specialist saw the mole, immediately began taking pictures of it and made arrangements to have the mole removed the next morning.  She said "I wasn't expecting this..." and Caylea began to feel a bit alarmed!
On April 6, twelve stitches later, Caylea was feeling relieved to have the mole gone and be on the plane to join up with her friends for the remainder of their drama tour.  On April 8, Caylea's cell phone rang and the news from the specialist was what we dreaded:  melanoma.
Caylea called us right away.  I was singing with our Healing Hearts funeral singers, when Walter quickly left the band hall on Carry the Kettle reserve to take Caylea's call.  Minutes later, after I had just set my guitar down and was sipping coffee, Walter signaled to me and whispered that we have to leave.  I was so confused.  Why?  There was still a few hours of service, interment and a meal as part of the funeral proceedings.  What was wrong?
Not expecting the news to be so prompt, I sat in shock when Walter told me.  Tears immediately filled my eyes and my throat felt clogged and choked.  We held each other's hands tightly as we cried in our car.  Then Walter started the engine and we drove directly back to Regina, preparing ourselves to book a flight and get ready for Caylea's return home.
Longest day ever when we realized Caylea couldn't get a flight until Saturday morning.  Daniel was already planning to come home for the weekend, so he walked in a couple hours later.  With laundry basket in hand and a welding project from his sheet metal course, Daniel was not fully aware of the situation.  When the realization hit as we confirmed Caylea was not teasing - and you have to understand those two have a fun and goofy relationship - Daniel's expression went from disbelief to shock to grief in mere seconds.
Bob and Gwen texted just then to say they would be coming over right away.  Daniel slipped downstairs to have shower and gather himself.  It was all happening so fast.
We are so blessed to have the support we do from our ministry team.  They embraced us, cried with us, listened to us.  They have seen our children grow up, having been at Caylea's dedication service back before we even started Healing Hearts Ministry!  This news was hitting our friends hard, as well.  When Daniel joined us in the living room, Bob and Gwen had him sit between them and they prayed for us.
After they left, we turned on the Blue Jays home opener on TV, planning to spend our evening in a low-key way.  We made a few phone calls to grandparents and our families.  We e-mailed a couple prayer chains.  I puttered in the kitchen to prepare some supper.  Then there was a knock on our door.
Nick and Vivian, the couple whose sister-in-law's funeral was this day, stepped inside and immediately hugged us and told us how sorry they were to hear this news.  They, too, have known Caylea since she was a baby and felt such shock.
We stood in a circle in our living room, Nick leading in a prayer.  As he prayed, he began to ask God to put the pieces of the spiritual armour upon us and Caylea specifically.  While Nick was asking for the Blood of Jesus Christ to pour down upon her body and remove the cancer, Walter later told us that he could see that image and saw the spot on her arm where the cancer looked like a black spot,  And the blood poured over it!  Immediately, Walter felt God's peace.  The fear left.
When we had talked to Caylea a second time on Friday afternoon, she told us their team devotions had been on the "Armour of God" and she thought it was interesting that this cancer felt like an attack!  When Nick prayed in the way he did, with NO knowledge of their team devotions that morning, God's sovereignty was more than evident to us and we felt His presence.
Saturday morning, we waited at the bottom of the escalator at Regina Airport.  She gave a little wave from the top and we braced ourselves for this emotional reunion.  She melted into her Daddy's arms, and then Daniel and I hugged her, too!  Not knowing how she'd be dealing with things, we tread lightly and tried to follow her lead.  Immediately, she began teasing her brother, and as we retrieved her luggage, we could see she'd be okay!
Caylea's journey with cancer has begun...and in so many ways Walter and I have already felt the Lord carrying us, raising up friends to support and a Christian surgeon here in Regina who will be caring for Caylea in this initial stage.
I cannot speak for what the Lord will do in and through and for our precious daughter in this journey.  All I know, is that every time I open my Bible, God is giving me wonderful words of comfort, strength and hope!  You can be sure I will be sharing those as I blog for the next while.
THANK YOU, for reading this, and for the prayers I know you as our friends and family will offer up on our behalf.  Our life is on hold as this week unfolds.  We should be finding out more right away as to surgery, scans, tests and a treatment plan for Caylea.  We'll be in touch...

Another funeral.
Seems we have been part of so many losses in the past few months.
Our good friend, coworker and brother in Christ, Nick Helliwell, will be officiating the services for his brother's wife.  She died at home at the age of 55.  The wake will be held Thursday evening at their home on "Carry the Kettle" First Nation.  The funeral will be at the band hall Friday morning.
Several years ago, some of our ministry team at Healing Hearts sang some Gospel hymns at a funeral on a reserve.  Then someone asked if the Healing Hearts Funeral Singers could come to another funeral to do the music.  We began to develop a reputation that was both an honour and tragically humourous!
So we will pack up our instruments, our portable sound system and travel out to the reserve Thursday afternoon.  We'll hang out with the family, probably have soup and bannock and bologna sandwiches on white bread and lots of strong coffee or tea.  We may sing some songs and have a short service that night.  We'll drive back to the city to sleep in our own bed...
Then we'll drive out again in the morning and support Nick in a full service to honour the memory of Cindy Eashappie.  We will share the time with drummers and elders, as well, as they send off their loved one in traditional ceremony.
Lord, would You be glorified as we represent You on Carry the Kettle First Nation?  Would You strengthen and equip us to minister in Your Name?  Would You protect and keep us as Your servants?  Would You be lifted up among the believers and before those who have yet to call upon You?  We believe in You and trust in Your power and authority.  You are the Lord and there is none above You!  In the name of Jesus I pray, Amen!
Thank you to all of you who will keep us in prayer the next two days.  The warfare and emotional drain will be very real to us and we appreciate the prayer covering.  God bless you.

I've had a really great week!
Easter Monday was a relaxed day.  We all slept in and then I made Daniel a bacon & eggs breakfast.  We had a leisurely visit before he packed up his stuff to head back to Saskatoon for his sheet metal apprenticeship courses.  I packaged up some leftovers, fresh-baked chocolate chip cookie squares and had to sneak in some fruit, too!
Tuesday, I took my niece, Charaya, out shopping to spend some of the gift cards she got for Christmas and her birthday.  It was fun to have Starbucks while we checked out Ardene's, Sport Chek and a couple other stores.  Then we hung out at my house, where she practiced her card tricks on me and then we through the football around outside for a while.  When Uncle Walter came home, he showed Charaya some illusions and "magic tricks" he has worked on and she seemed to catch on very quickly!
Then Wednesday, I picked up my niece and we decided to make pizza for lunch...so we got the necessary items at Walmart and proceeded to make Calzones out of the Kraft pizza kit and some additional ingredients.  Yummy!  Then we were lazy and watched some TV.  It was a grey, cool day and we weren't too motivated.  We sat in the hot tub for a while and had a nice chat.  Then we had some time to bake double chocolate chip cookies before her mom came by after work!
Then Thursday I had a bunch of errands to do.  It was also the last day the Curves East location was open so I went and worked out, as well.  In the afternoon, Bert and Liz Genaille, our friends and coworkers in Nipawin, came over for a visit, some administrative paperwork and supper.
Friday, I met with my mentor and friend, Charlene Lutzer, who is retired ministry wife and prayer warrior!  We are studying a book called "Transforming Prayer" by Daniel Henderson.  Rich times.  Then off to pick up a bench I bought from Curves as they have sold off a lot of their furnishings.  Got home in time to have a visit with our other Healing Hearts missionaries in Manitoba, Scott & Laura Rosom.  It was encouraging to hear how things went in their church for Easter and how the recent renovations and painting have spruced up the old church building.  After a few moments to relax, we headed out to Don & Elaine Wiens' farm for a delightful visit and supper.
And that brings us to today, a sunny Saturday.
As we are "empty nesters" until Daniel & Caylea are back home, we have been lazy today.  Walter is puttering on some wood project in the garage and I just felt like writing.
God has blessed us with opportunities this week while we have been around home.  It could easily ramp up and become even busier with people, and needs, and administrative tasks and the never-ending housework and home projects!  But as we wait for Walter's surgery date to be set - Lord, please make it soon! - and plan tentative trips to visit our missionaries, it has been so nice to just be home!
Have a good weekend, friends!
God is good, all the time!