Do you ever feel like time just flows, sometimes slow and lazy, sometimes standing completely still?
When Caylea was first diagnosed with melanoma almost 18 months ago, it felt like the world stopped.  The sun stood in one place and life was freeze-framed. 
Waiting.  Tests.  More waiting.  Surgeries.  Recovery. 
We stepped back from our normal routines and others stepped in to fill our empty spaces.
Camp.  Conferences.  We took a trip to Cuba.
In the midst of this, suddenly time picked up speed and we found ourselves on a river rapids.
Caylea's treatments became part of the current; our commuting to Prince Albert also part of the rushing waters.  Soon for our daughter, at least, the stream of her life will grow wider and smoother, hopefully where she can navigate the future without the weight of cancer on her shoulders!
Sometimes I'm not sure if we are in a raft, a canoe or a speedboat.
This journey seems to take me along and I don't always know if I need a paddle or if I should just hang on for the ride!
I am so thankful that Jesus is my lifeline - cheesy analogy and all - and I trust in Him.

I gazed out over the congregation as I adjusted the shoulder strap on my guitar.  Feeling nervous and mentally scattered, I strummed the strings to make sure the sound man had turned up the volume.  How would I introduce the song?  Was this the right song for this service?
This weekend, Walter and I had two missions conferences to participate in - 'tis the season for fall mission emphasis weekends!  Friday evening, we joined the Parliament Community Church family as they had invited several of the missionaries they support to give reports and set up displays representing their ministries. How blessed we are to have caring folk ask how we are doing, how is your daughter, how is the ministry?  Sitting in small groups, we prayed for others and they prayed for us in our various ministries.
Saturday morning we drove out to Weyburn to the Silver Heights Bible Church's missions conference.  Walter was the keynote speaker and their planning committee had asked me to share some music.  Just a glitch - I had left my guitar up at the chapel at the NCEM headquarters in Prince Albert.  And my music binder.
So that's why I felt more nervous and unprepared as I used my secondary guitar and borrowed my daughter's music binder.  But somehow, only one song seemed to come to mind and I couldn't sing it for all three services in the conference!  I felt so inadequate.
I made it through the morning and evening services. But I prayed for wisdom to know what to share and the heart preparation to minister for the Lord on Sunday morning.
Hosea 6:6 was a verse I had read in a devotional book a day or two ago.  I came back to it this morning before we again jumped in our car to drive back to Weyburn.  Walter had his message prepared and was running some of his main points by me.  I kept praying for his sermon and my music to be from our hearts.  The verse says: "For I desire mercy, not sacrifice, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings."
Walter suggested I use the same song from Saturday morning's service and have the words projected for the others in the congregation to join in.  I liked that idea!
I felt less nervous to lead a song than to "perform" a special number.  The song was "By Faith" by the Gettys and I found the words to be especially suited for a missions focus.  All that we do as believers is by faith and our ministry efforts can only be fruitful if done by faith. 
So I gazed out on congregation - with more in the pews than the night before, but I felt the Lord giving me peace and confidence as I led the song. 
It was a blessed weekend. Ministering to our support team is an offering that the Lord will accept as we know it is done in deep gratitude for their prayers and sacrificial giving.

The day was unseasonably warm as we started the engine and pulled away from the NCEM headquarters parking lot.  With only a hoodie and light windbreaker, I felt toasty.  I basked in the heat from the sun and looked forward to the drive...
Walter revved the engine and got the feel for the open road.  The new-to-us vehicle rode well and handled the bumps and unexpected turns with ease.  A grin brightened his face as the powerful four-wheel drive picked up speed and he veered for the sand trail.
THE SAND TRAIL?
"Adventures with Walter" continue as we went off-road on our newly acquired Honda Quad ATV! 
Just before noon today, a friend delivered his used quad to us and we made the transaction.  No sooner had our friend pulled away from the lot, than Walter said, "Let's go!"  I ran into our suite and put on an extra layer before climbing up on the passenger seat.  Walter straddled the machine, turned the key and pressed the ignition button.  It growled to life and we wheeled - okay, maybe we just accelerated  gradually - as Walter got the feel for it!  I gripped the handles and rested my arms on the padded armrest.  As the wind blew my hair back, I pulled up the hood of my bunnyhug and raised my face to enjoy the fresh breeze.  What a glorious day!
The trails north of the headquarters compound outside of Prince Albert lead into a maze in the forest.  We have walked along various trails and have met folks on ATV or dune buggy contraptions back there over the summer.  A brown and gold sign at the beginning of the main trail informs adventurers that it is "Wildlife Management" land.  We have seen a deer or two but that's about all.  Today we followed the familiar trails until we came to the farthest point we have made on foot...but would we  "boldly go where no Selke has gone before?"
For sure!  We followed the trail around a curve and found ourselves winding through some trees to a sudden descent.  Walter hesitated before slowly manoeuvering the rutted path down to the river.  I think it is the Shell River that winds through forest, golf course, under a bridge and towards the North Saskatchewan River towards Prince Albert. 

Tracks took us along the shoreline a ways, then abruptly stopped at the water.  With only four to six inches flowing in the river this fall, Walter steered into the lazy current and we went across to the other side, where more sandy shoreline wound. Soon we came to where beavers had attempted to dam the flow and decided to turn back the way we had come.
Up and away we flew, finding new paths and following the basic direction of the river.  Certain areas had washed out at some point this year and new side trails could be seen that we opted to take.  Up, down, around and northwest we drove.  We stopped at a scenic to take pictures.

Although the quad ran well and handled fine, we didn't take too much risk, but stayed on well worn trails and kept the sun's location in mind.  We spooked a deer ahead of us.  We heard a raven call.  Otherwise it was a quiet and beautiful ride alone among the birch and pines. 
Just when I began to wonder if we knew where we were and if we would meet up with that main sandy trail again, we did!
I felt a little guilty as we entered the parking lot.  It is a Monday afternoon and the office staff and printshop guys and Tribal Trails crew were all diligently tending to their work.  Walter and I were taking a day off!  The sense of guilt turned into thanksgiving as we looked at each other's wind-reddened and smiling faces!  God has provided an ideal opportunity and a modest machine for us to enjoy the amazing autumn day. 
THANK YOU, LORD!

Slowing down...
Walter got hit with a nasty cold and he had no choice but to slow down this week.
He would rally to make it to the morning chapel, drag himself to the office to deal with some emails and phone calls.  He coughed and sneezed his way through and finally would give in and go back to our suite a few yards from the office building.
In support of Walter's healing and need for rest, the office staff posted a sign:

Tough love is hard to take, but eventually Walter got the hint and took a couple afternoons off!
In the meantime, I had some new things to learn and a full-day meeting to be engaged in as I learn the role of Personnel Coordinator for NCEM.  The previous person retired about 8-10 months ago and we've had no replacement until I stepped into the role in September.  Walter put in place a candidate coordinator who is new to that role, as well and I will work with Andrew to manage the paperwork and process from the office.  (Andrew and his wife live in Alberta and can do much by email and phone in connecting with inquiries and new applicants.)
It was a busy week for us, in spite of sickness.  I had made a pot of chicken soup Tuesday and someone gave us homemade borscht Wednesday, so Walter was well taken care of in the soup department!  We had plenty of fruit and orange juice, so Walter loaded up on the vitamin C in his diet.  With some echinacea tea in his mug, Walter nursed that cold until Thursday afternoon he finally felt it break.  I was so glad to see him looking more perky and energetic.  We decided he needed some fresh air and took a lovely walk off the headquarters property on the amazing forest trails.

Apart from a residual cough, Walter is on the mend.  Just in time for the trip he and the other two gentleman on the Executive Team, Jason and Bob,  who will fly together to Spokane for a leadership coaching time.  I am praying my dear husband will not have sinus/ear pain when flying and will be healthy and alert to take in all he can at these sessions on leadership.

On the home front, Daniel is gearing up for the curling season.  His new team looks promising and eager to practice.  They will begin league curling soon - they've already thrown some rocks to get the feel for the ice and to gel as a team in new positions.  Daniel is skip and in his quiet way is a strong, confident leader.  We know one teammate but not the two new additions, brothers Daniel had connections with through the University of Regina back when he gave Business Administration a run!
Mark and Amy are skirting their mobile home and mouse-proofing before they move in.  Amy has already begun piano lessons and has a dozen students, I believe.  "Selke Studios" is even on Google maps, so the country location can be found more easily!
Caylea had the opportunity to speak in chapel yesterday at Nipawin Bible College.  We had thought about going to hear her, but on second thought, felt she would be more free to share from her heart without her parents present.  Her friend, Hope sent us a picture of Caylea speaking, and our friends messaged us that they heard Caylea's testimony and commented, "She had us laughing and crying...love that girl!"  We're so proud of her, being willing to share what God has done through her cancer journey.  We know He is not finished yet (Philippians 1:6).
God is good!  If nothing else is learned in our own journey of parenting, ministry, sickness and leadership, we have grown in our experience and understanding that GOD IS GOOD!  He does not change, He is faithful, He is loving and gracious...He is just in ALL His ways.  The Bible says so and we haven't been disappointed by His promises, ever!
Have a good weekend, my friends.

The leaves were still and the two flags hung completely straight down along the flagpoles.
A lone fisherman's boat floated on the calm waters of Last Mountain Lake.  A few gulls dipped and glided across the surface and soared high again.  It was a perfect picture of serenity.
With this backdrop, over forty of the Healing Hearts Ministries missionary staff and families gathered for refreshment and worship.  We have nearly outgrown the facility for indoor accommodations as we have grown in numbers.
Arlene set up tables and displayed the new coffee mugs, water bottles, t-shirts and hoodies that Walter calls the HHM "swag"!  We set up a registration table in the dining hall across from the swag tables.  Gina Marie and I filled small gift bags with candies and pens and notepads for all the guests for the week.  Others were setting up chairs and rearranging the lodge fireside room for our meetings.
A warm, garlicky aroma wafted from the kitchen as supper was being prepared by the cooking staff of the camp.
Soon the backdoor opened to the dining hall and voices echoed in greeting.  We moved towards the first of the guests to arrive and hugged and welcomed them!  Several arrived right at 4 pm and others trickled in as the afternoon wore on.  Folks settled in to their rooms and the visiting began in earnest.  Each year at the conference, Walter and I are always like parents so happy the "family" is coming home for a reunion.  It thrills our hearts to see the staff we have known so well over the years now share with each other like old friends.
Supper was a noisy affair and it was difficult to break into the fellowship with announcements.  But our first service was to start at 7 pm and we needed to begin that process of herding the crew into the fireside room.
Our speaker was Dr. Sam Berg, experienced as a pastor and professor of counselling at Briercrest Bible College and Seminary.  Two of our staff graduated with their Masters degrees under his direction and instruction.  I had taken one of his classes on "Family Systems Theory" back when I thought of pursuing a degree in counselling, as well.  So he is someone many of us know and we looked forward to his messages.
A new element we added to our schedule was a Talent Show Friday night.  We had the most numbers present that evening and 15 acts signed up to perform their wonders.  Bob M.C.'d with great wit and clever segueways.  Everything from five year old boys break-dancing to some musical numbers to card tricks and a dramatic reading of "Green Eggs and Ham".  The funniest acts were two separate missionaries telling common fairy tales with a twist... "Prindercella and the Sandsome Hince" and a tongue twister version of "Little Red Riding Hood" that I can't even spell!  We laughed until we cried!
The evening was capped by the explosion of fireworks!  The rain we had Friday stopped in time for a couple of the men to set up the fireworks along the beach and we all watched from the deck above.  A wonderful end to a special time together.
To end the three day conference, we had a prayer group time and then a final service.  Our childcare providers were the drama team "UpsideDown Productions", and they treated us to their first performance of the drama they will be presenting on tour.  We closed with Walter sharing a few words on the grace Jesus extended to Judas even at that last supper.  We all shared in the bread and cup, knowing we are also undeserving recipients of His grace.
After the good byes and clean up, I took one last look at the peaceful lake scene, yellow and orange leaves framing the window view.
Another conference has ended and the Lord met with us.

This week I have been a tourist, a hostess, a listener, a prayer warrior.
I have been to the Royal Museum of Natural History.
I have cooked roast moose and Yorkshire pudding; roast chicken, mashed potatoes & stuffing; lemon coconut dessert and soft molasses cookies!
I have been studying a new devotional book entitled, " A Place of Quiet Rest" and focusing on listening to what God is saying to me.  After two or three days, I finally felt like I had shed some of the clutter and could tune in to God's voice.
Praying.  Keeping in a spirit of prayer throughout the day.  Interceding about all kinds of prayers and requests.  Praying without ceasing.
Tomorrow, our HHM Regina team is meeting after church for the first fall get together to pray and plan.  I feel excited about the new season of ministry!
And tonight I read about Jonah.  I was so struck in the first six verses of the book that you just cannot flee from the presence of the Lord.  Psalm 139 backs that truth by asking the questions: "Where shall I go from your spirit?  Or where shall I flee from our presence?"
Tonight, I feel safe as a child of God.
It is wonderful to rest in His presence!

Leaves swirled along the sidewalk as we stirred them up by our steps. Hand in hand, we crossed Dewdney Avenue and cut across the hospital parking lot to the main entrance.  I took a deep breath as the doors automatically parted for us to enter.  We had walking into the Allan Blair Cancer Clinic many times in the past 16 months but today seemed to be crucial somehow.
Our daughter joined us in the waiting room and we sat in soft upholstered chairs facing the television.  We chatted about random things.  Patients came and went as nurses with charts called out names.  Finally, Caylea's name was called and we waited while her weight and blood pressure were measured by the nurse, Cory.  Then we walked down the hall to room number 9.
Cory asked a few questions, especially about Caylea's trip to Europe.  As Caylea gave a brief answer, the nurse smiled and commented that Caylea looked happy.  She was genuinely glad for the experience Caylea had.
Then Cory left and promised that Dr. Iqbal would be in shortly.  We sat, waiting, gazing around the white room, not really noticing the posters or charts or equipment.  A quick rap on the door and the familiar bearded face greeted us.  The oncologist smiled as he shook all of our hands and sat on the examination table.
He asked how Caylea has been, how was her trip to Europe.  How are the side effects?  Caylea answered calmly and clearly.  I could see how her confidence had grown in dealing with a situation and a professional that used to be intimidating.
And then the question we had been dying to have answered: when would these treatments be over?
Dr. Iqbal looked down at his sheets of paper stapled neatly in the top left corner.  One more course of Interferon, he read.  He would prescribe one more cycle, which would take her into mid-October.  Although at Caylea's last appointment the doctor had said maybe she would be done by the end of September, he was recommending she finish the full 12 months.
Relief and disappointment crossed our daughter's face, reflecting our own emotions.  But one more month would go by quickly, we hoped, and then recovery.  He went to say he would order a CT scan for November and then have her come in for a follow up appointment in December.  If all was clear, he would be releasing Caylea back to her family doctor's care.  Yes, the end of this part of the journey was in sight!
Caylea waited for the next blood work requisition and her prescription.  She didn't really need us to wait with her so we said our good-bye.  She was planning to go shopping with her Auntie Karen, visiting from Alberta, right after the appointment, so we left her there.
Walking out through the lobby again, I felt such a sense of thankfulness and awareness of God's sustaining power.  How many times I had walked out those doors, to bring the car up and drive a shivering, shaking, pale girl back home after treatment!  Today, we exited the clinic and headed out the main doors, knowing we may only come back once more in December.
The sun felt warm but the September air had that fall chill.  A whole year ago we began the treatment regimen and God had seen us through.
THANK YOU, LORD!