James 1:12 "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights..."

Do you struggle with guilt?  

I don't mean the guilt feelings when you've done something wrong but the nagging cloud that comes over when you are enjoying something fun.

This seems normal to me.  But when someone else noticed my guilt-laden response to a positive or pleasurable thing, then I saw more clearly.  Self-induced guilt is not a good thing.

So I went on a Scripture journey and found some beautiful words.

I started with James.  "Every good and perfect gift..."  means exactly that!  God gives good things. Like tasty food, blue sky, happy feelings, funny jokes, intimate relationships.

Then Psalm 103 came to mind.  

"Praise the Lord, my soul;
  all my inmost being, praise His holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul, 
 and forget not all His benefits-
who forgives all your sins
 and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
 and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
 so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's."

These words are all about God's good gifts, like forgiveness, healing, redemption, love, fulfilling our desires.  Where is the guilt?  No, it's about praise, right from the deepest part of our hearts for the blessings and benefits of being in relationship with the Lord God.

After a quick peek in my Bible's concordance, I found Zephaniah 3:17.  

17 The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

Knowing my Father God delights in me, loves me, rejoices over me is a special picture in my mind.  I can see two specific photographs of my own Dad - one where he holding me, his face mere inches from my infant face with a silly grin.  And another, where he is holding his first grandchild, our son Mark, with such an enraptured expression.  Is that how the Lord looks on me, on you, with open affection and delight?  Probably even more so!

All I know for sure is that after just a brief time in God's Word, I felt different about what I had always been experiencing.   As Walter and I were talking about my "guilt-trips" where I am the only one traveling it, he asked me a couple key questions: 

1. If you could do something just for yourself, what would you like to do?

2.  If you could buy something just for yourself, what would that be?

I am excited to let these questions become the permission I give myself to dream and allow myself to enjoy things that are good, good for me and good gifts from my Father!

Maybe you who are reading this blog wrestle with feeling guilty for doing things for yourself.  Especially as those of us in Christian ministry are taught to serve others and not think of ourselves, we take on that "martyr complex" to live sacrificially.  Jesus calls us to give, serve and sacrifice but not to the point where we burn ourselves out for others!  Enjoying life, vacations, pampering and pleasure every now and then is healthy.  

I argue with myself:  isn't this being selfish?

Balance. I want to be a balanced, wise and fruitful servant of the Lord.

To live for Jesus and receive what He gives.

May you be blessed as you find freedom in Jesus Christ from false guilt.