Fall is a beautiful season. 

    I enjoy the glorious colours, especially in the Qu'appelle Valley.  The flat, harvested fields suddenly open into a sweep of orange, brown and gold with specks of red and burgundy.  Takes my breath away.

From Walter's 60th birthday, to Mark's 30th birthday, to Caylea's 27th birthday - not taking any of these special celebrations for granted after cancer has affected our lives - I am feeling a little sentimental today.  

    With Thanksgiving this coming weekend, my heart is filled with all the goodness and grace God has lavished on our family.  I just want to take time to meditate on the gifts and blessings, special memories and gatherings our family has had in light of the COVID interruption in our lives.  God has been good and He is with us through everything we experience, whether joyful or draining.

    As I stare out at the Tamarack tree in our backyard, I enjoy its transformation through the change of seasons.  Right now it is a pretty golden/green hue, with the dark brown cones more visible as the needles have already begun to fall.  When we first moved to this home, the tree was maybe nine feet tall.  Now it must be forty or fifty feet tall!  The first autumn we lived here, I noticed the change of colour and the needles being shed.  I thought the tree was an evergreen of some kind, and that it was dying!  

    I shared this with our First Nations dad/mushum, Kush, and he just had a good laugh at my expense!  Almost every year since then he teases me about my dead Tamarack!  I felt a little helpless when I thought maybe I should have done something to prepare it for winter, or had failed to care for it properly to keep it alive.

    Right now, I feel like that about our life journey.  We have faced and continue to face challenging circumstances.  Some are personal.  Some are within our ministry.  Some are my own individual areas that God is working on!  But the season of fall seems to depict a time of shedding unnecessary stuff.  Of preparing for a season of cold and dark and what appears to be death, or at least a long hibernation.  When growth is not obvious and change seems at a standstill.

    Fall is also a time of harvest, and I have to remind myself that we have seen great abundance as God has blessed our family and our ministry.  Caylea has survived her cancer journey!  Our kids have grown up and become wonderful, funny, kind and Jesus-loving adults.  Our local church has grown and matured in the 26 years since its inception.  And our tent has been enlarged to go beyond Regina to parts of Saskatchewan, Alberta, Manitoba and across Canada through NCEM's sphere of influence!

    The splendid display of autumn does give way to the winter of rest.  Much of nature does die off and seems to disappear during our Canadian season of ice and snow.  But the roots beneath the surface of the dirt are alive.  The sap within the trees is still.  The seeds are dormant until the heat and moisture of spring will resurrect them.  

    My sentimentality is moving towards hope as I consider what God has done and is continuing to do in and around me.  I am being shaped and molded into His image, through the hard times and the very pleasant times.  Jesus is my hope.  His patience and grace makes me feel loved, even as I wrestle to surrender to what I don't always understand.  But I know I can trust Him and rest in His purposes.

The Cave

I am back to the sweltering heat, the perspiration tickling my forehead and upper lip, the cool grapefruit Perrier water temporarily relieving my thirst...the sun high in the afternoon sky and the butte conquered...the cave beckoned.

When Elizabeth and I had first arrived at Castle Butte, the family who was up on top was in various stages of descent.  Two of their elementary school age kids had raced down first and immediately went into a dark recess in the rock.  My tour guide had asked if I'd like to check the cave out first, but seeing it occupied and the difficult climb ahead, I wanted to face the hardest challenge first!  

Now that we were on ground level, I felt ready to explore.  Elizabeth had described it as dark, cool, gradually winding upward deep inside the butte.  Being a cautious person, and recognizing I am not as adventurous as I used to be, I asked if it was a tight fit.  Would I get claustrophobic?  She brought headlamps for us and assured me we only needed to go as far as we felt comfortable.  Okay, good!  I felt safe and glad she had been here before and wasn't such a go-getter that I would feel like a complete dud on this outing.

The first step inside felt ten degrees cooler!  My eyes needed to adjust to the sudden change as we entered the shade.  The opening was about three feet wide, with a ledge about five inches deep along the left side.  A narrow space on the dirt floor just wider than my running shoes led into the depths, but it was at least five feet wide above my knees.  I didn't need to duck as the opening was eight feet or so.  My first inclination was to sit down once I had gone in far enough to let Elizabeth in, as well.  The coolness felt so refreshing.  I sat and let my eyes and temperature grow comfortable in the new environment.

Elizabeth pointed out a small opening above the main entrance that let light in.  She stood straddling the ledge and braced her other foot on a slight foothold opposite.  Straining to see out the hole, she couldn't actually get her head and face into the space!  I thought it would make a funny picture from outside, but it wasn't to be.  Anyways, the next step was to show me how to turn on my headlamp.  Aced that!  Then we went onward into the depths of the unknown...

The air felt even colder as we pushed farther inside the narrow cave.  We climbed up quite a steep dirt incline, and then the cave curved to the right.  Again, the foot space was narrow, almost like water had run down and eroded a path.  But the upper area was wider.  On we climbed and felt our way along the walls of the cave.  About fifteen or twenty feet inside from the opening, I felt like I was in a completely different world.  Cold, dark, damp, earthy.  I looked back to see Elizabeth behind me, and the faint light of day.  Ahead, the path continued to climb and got suddenly narrower.  There was no where to really sit or stand flat.  So we sort of straddled the footpath and held onto the walls.  

I am sure my friend would have gone further if I wanted to.  But I didn't want to.  Apparently, our friend, Spurgeon Root has explored this cave and told her it led to a small air-hole somewhere along the side of the butte.  Not big enough to exit the cave.  I had already accomplished one major goal this day: reaching summit of the butte.  I had my adrenal glands exercised sufficiently in open air; I didn't feel like I needed to push myself to overcome any claustrophobic tendencies I may have!  

So we turned ourselves around and I followed Elizabeth down and back to the ledge, where the temperature again grew warmer.  The perspiration now felt cold and wet where my clothing met my skin.  I enjoyed the "just right" feeling at the opening of the cave, not really wanting to bake out there!

Eventually, we turned off our headlamps and headed for the vehicle.  We grabbed more drinks and walked around the perimeter of the butte, talking and leisurely making our way along the flat, almost sidewalk-like path.  The rainwater must wash down and create concrete that is smooth, almost professional looking.  On the north side, we found some rocks and sat for a while in the shade.  It was nice to be together, to chat about surface stuff and even about heavier subjects.  Thankfulness overwhelmed me and I felt so blessed!

As we rounded the butte a westerly breeze cooled us again, and we could see the farmer continuing to make hay.  Another vehicle brought would-be climbers and hikers and explorers.  We greeted them and gave them pointers.  Then we decided we would start up the CRV and crank the air conditioning, while we made plans for the next part of our adventure.

But I should mention the gophers.  We had parked near a gopher hole unbeknownst to us.  As we had approached her vehicle, a little gopher peeked out from behind the rear tire.  It squeaked loudly.  Another one answered.  They bolted out from beneath the CRV, tussling and rolling along the dry, dusty ground.  One ran off.  The other came back towards us.  We had our phones out, taking pictures and video.  The crazy critter kept coming towards me.  Usually they run away.  This little guy was about six inches from me and I wasn't sure if he would run right up my leg!  I backed away and Elizabeth took photos and laughed!  She threatened Facebook exposure of my encounter and I must have given her an ugly look, as I haven't seen any incriminating video footage yet!

I know, the little rodent was probably hand fed by others.  Gophers are NOT my friend.  They are hungry, greedy, destructive little guys that eat farmers' crops and gardeners' produce.  So I didn't befriend this or any other gopher.  Cute, but hawk bait!

And that was the adventure of "The Cave.

"

Summit of Castle Butte

Upon arriving in the awesome Big Muddy Valley, within a few minutes, we saw a doe with twins!  Absolutely adorable, they jumped and hurried through the long prairie grass, then stopped to turn and watch us as we slowed to take pictures.  God's handiwork in the skies and on the earth are beyond words, especially when we get front row seats to His creations.

In few more kilometres, we saw the sign for Castle Butte.  We wound along the valley bottom, on a gravel road through ranching country.  We crossed a couple of Texas gates, bumpy metal grates that prevent the cattle from escaping their pasture land. The butte rose from the valley, an oddity erupting from the flatness of the flat scrubland.  And then we saw the sign.  The sign said it was 200 feet elevation, and 1/4 kilometre around.  Not that impressive in comparison to the Rocky Mountains or Mount Everest!  But in Saskatchewan?  Oh, yeah, it's impressive!

My heart began to pump a little faster as I anticipated climbing this massive rock.  It looked straight up as we approached and I was thankful as we rounded the butte to see a gradual slope with a trail.  I also saw some small figures on the top of the butte, so I knew it was a doable climb.  A lone vehicle was in the parking area, and we pulled in beside it.  Time to change into my running shoes.  And load up my small pack with water and my phone.  

As we opened the doors of Elizabeth's CRV, the heat of a late July day blasted us.  What were we thinking?  It was 34 degrees Celsius.  But I was committed to this adventure, this challenge.  So away we went.

Two kids under ten years old came down the path.  I felt better knowing that kids could do this climb.  The parents were coming down, and so as Elizabeth and I went up the first section, we made it to the plateau half way up.  They were kind enough to give us suggestions and pointers.  I moved to the west side, waiting for them to pass.  There were two options.  Elizabeth chose the path the folks had just descended to our right (east).  I looked at the western option and from my angle thought it looked better.  Hmmm.  As I ascended, the footing was slippery with loose gravelly type pieces.  I think the technical term is "scree".  Elizabeth was making good time up the other path, but I had to keep my focus on the steps directly in front of me.  My Roughrider cap hampered my upward view, and I needed both hands to keep my balance, so I only looked to my immediate foot or two ahead.  It was steeper than I thought.  

Finally, I reached a spot that was firmer with a narrow climbing space to grab hold and squeeze through.  I was nearly there!  It was hot, no breeze, and I was almost out of breath.  I had to pray my way up the last foot that felt straight up.  I couldn't see what I would be pulling myself up to.  It must be a flat surface, but there was no way to tell if I would have much space to step up, sit on, lie on or just what!  But with a final heave, I was up on my knees and when I saw nothing but blue sky and the valley stretched out below us.  I immediately sat on my butt, on the butte, ha ha!  Catching my breath, I felt the burn in my lungs and on my skin from the scorching sun.  

Elizabeth had arrived on the top before me, and walked confidently over the several metres to where my path had brought me.  She was sweating profusely, very red in the face, but grinning at me.

"Not gonna stand up and get a better view?"  she was half-teasing, half-concerned, I think.

All that went through my mind is, I have to get down somehow.  What if I chicken out and need someone to rescue me? I almost froze with fear.  

I managed to reply to my friend, still panting and having no desire to stand at that moment.  I took a sip or two of my water and pulled my phone from the pack.  I captured a few pictures from my vantage point, and Elizabeth took some of me sitting in the same spot I had landed.  

"Well, you did it!  You made it!" Was she trying to encourage me so that she wouldn't have to figure out how to coax me down again?  Possibly.  So I made myself stand and then realized, it was a flat top with a small rise on the southeastern side.  I was on the narrowest area and I felt more comfortable walking to a wider place.  I took a couple photos, but as you can see, I needed all my resources to enjoy the moment and not focus on how to get off this thing!

Elizabeth had been here before and went to the edge of the rise to see over.  She pointed out some other interesting sites, and we noted another vehicle of climbers had arrived.  I guess we weren't the only crazy people in the area!  As I passed the path that Elizabeth had come up, and I glanced over at the one I had chosen, I definitely saw the wisdom of descending her way.  I already plotted that I would go down on my bum, facing out to see where I was going.  It had more footholds and handholds, less scree and a flatter slope.  My heart was increasing its rate even before Elizabeth was ready to go down.

I felt like a coward.  Not sure I've really felt that afraid before.  Not in my recent adult life.

I processed my attitude to people who have been controlled by fear.  I hadn't been very patient or compassionate as I saw individuals who were letting fear interfere with their lives and futures.  Why couldn't they just "overcome it" and get on with the next steps in their lives?  But courage doesn't just replace fear instantly, as I realized in my mental preparation to go down this butte.  So I prayed that the Lord would forgive my lack of grace for those who are bound up in anxiety and fear, and then tried to ask casually, "So, you ready to go down yet?"

Being the kind friend, she let me go down first.  She was probably afraid if I slipped I'd knock her down the slope!  But I found descending less stressful and in a few minutes I was at the flat half-way plateau that encircled the butte.  She followed me down and soon joined me.  We walked around a few feet apart,  Some parts of the path were narrow with a fairly steep drop-off; only once did I have to concentrate on the path in front of me!  A refreshing breeze met us as we rounded the westerly side and I was so thankful for the Saskatchewan wind.  I could see a farmer swathing hay.  I could see some farmyards, and another van pulling into the parking lot.  

Some neat rock formations protruded on that west side and we climbed around there. A hole had formed a bit further down, but I had not desire to descend and then ascend again.  My adrenaline had finally settled down and I still had one final leg to go down before we were at the bottom.  

I half-slid, half-scooted down the last slope, no pride whatsoever as others were waiting for us to clear the path so they could go up!  I didn't care.  My running shoes were adequate but I envied Elizabeth's hiking boots!  Next time, I'd be more prepared.

Next time!!!???  What was I thinking?  

As we gulped our now very tepid water, I breathed a sigh of relief.  We were on the ground, where flatlanders like me feel safe.  Elizabeth retrieved some grapefruit Perrier drinks from her cooler and we walked and sipped our cold beverages as we circled the butte the 1/4 kilometre around its base.  

And then there was the cave....

                                     From the top, on my butt, on the Butte!

Castle Butte

Today I did two things that I have NEVER done before.

First, I have figured out how to use the new format for Blogspot.  Yeah me! Just in the nick of time, as I think the old way is obsolete in a couple days.

Second, I did a day trip with my friend, Elizabeth, to Castle Butte, Big Muddy Valley, southern Saskatchewan.  My friend grew up in Oregon and has lived in Regina for over ten years now.  She has explored many places, loves hiking and camping, and was incredulous that I had never been to this amazing location just two hours from my home!

Our trip began around 11:30 am, with a quick drive-thru for $1 Iced Coffee at McDonald's.  Then we took the new bypass around the east and south of Regina to catch the Number 6 Highway.  Then we drove straight south, making exactly three curves until we reached the "Four Corners".  I reminisced as we past the signs for Corrine, Dummer and Parry, all markers for childhood memories for me.  We turned west on Highway 13, passing Pangman and Ogema. Then we turned south to Bengough.  Any of these towns familiar to you?

Bengough is the last sign of civilization before we hit the Big Muddy Valley.  In other words, last gas station and flush toilet!  We stopped to get fuel and use the facilities before driving another twenty minutes or so to our destination. 

Driving on the flat prairie can seem so boring and most folks find southern Saskatchewan to be uninteresting to them.  But I find such joy in the wide blue sky and fields that stretch as far as the eye can see!  So when you are driving along flat and straight roads, then suddenly you come to a rise, the view of a valley is such a surprise!  God's unexpected blessings for those of us who will truly appreciate it!

I will post more of the adventure later...here are a few pictures to illustrate our journey so far...

                                                           A Doe and Twin Fawns

Officially on holidays!
We will be doing some small projects around our cabin, like redoing the firepit, weed trimming and replacing a door to the lean-to.  I have also found a new crossword puzzle book and Walter, well he has a new hobby so he will be entertained!
Every few days we come back to the city to shower and restock groceries.  Our cabin is pretty rustic: 1970's wall panelling, garage sale furnishings and no running water.  I love the challenge of cooking over the fire, but it isn't necessary for our survival.  We have electricity so run a fridge, stove and microwave.  Life is simple at the cabin and that's what I love about it!
Just a few neighbours have cabins around us, so it's quiet.  If we want to visit, they are friendly, but otherwise, we all leave each other to our own private spaces.  We are only a small walk from a boat launch/dock.  A half hour walk would get us to Katepwa Beach but we usually drive there because a beach usually requires "stuff" like snacks, towels and other paraphernalia. 
Why am I blogging?  Why am I not relaxing and disengaging?  Well, just as Walter's hobbies are his outlet for creativity and thinking time, my hobbies are music and writing.  I actually downloaded some creative writing exercises and will take some time to just write for fun! 
Speaking of hobbies, I alluded to Walter's new hobby:  a VW Beetle!  He advertised and sold his 1928 Dodge Bros. project, which got stalled because he couldn't find parts.  A friend's dad bought it and has the connections to acquire the parts...and it will be nice to see/hear the progress on the old car!  In the meantime, Walter was able to find a 1971 Volkswagen Super Beetle and our coworker brought it down from Birch Hills, SK to Regina for the price of a BBQ rib supper!  Now Walter is on YouTube and websites to learn all about his new love.  And he is starting a YouTube channel to document his project and to facilitate his dramatic side!  You can find it under the name "Beetle Build" if you are curious.
So if I'm not writing or experimenting with foil dinners, I will be out in the saskatoon bushes.  The berries are ripe and we have picked a couple gallon pails full already.  A blessing from the Lord is that the mosquitoes are almost non-existent this year.
See ya' later!

Lazy days of summer...
The last couple of days I spent thoroughly enjoying the blessings of God's gift of summer.  I sat outside with my coffee and Bible. The fountain bubbled and birds entertained, while the hot June sun warmed my skin and my soul.
From morning until evening, I basked in our green grass, fresh stamped concrete path and flowers in bloom. After supper, I built a bonfire in the firepit, and Caylea and my niece, Charaya, joined me.  As the sun set in a glorious grand finale, we waited for our nightly lighting ceremony.  One by one, our strings of solar-powered lights blinked on, signalling the close of a beautiful day.
While I was recharging my own batteries in the sun's rays, my dear husband was driving up to Big River, and then to Pine Ridge Bible Camp.  On the way north, he saw 4 or 5 bears along the highway.  The day was hot and sunny, perfect for the sod/sand turning ceremony at the camp to dedicate a new building project.  The camp has needed a new dining hall/chapel to replace the faithful but deteriorating buildings that have served since the camp's inception in the 1980's.  With COVID-19 interrupting the kids' programs, the construction can begin now and hopefully be completely closed in by fall. 
My motivation for work and indoor tasks has definitely diminished as I feel that pull of summer.  We booked our cabin for a couple weeks in July and we both are ready for a restful vacation.  I am already mentally packing!
But I do have notes from our recent NCEM Executive meeting to type up.  And some other correspondence to attend to...but I feel the backyard calling me and I may not be able to resist....
          "Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let the sea resound, and all that is in it. Let             the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy."                                                  Psalm 96:11-12

Fathers' Day, 2020 during COVID-19
     It was special to be able to meet at our Healing Hearts Ministry Centre today for worship!  We still have our camera and microphones for streaming on Facebook Live.  But how sweet to lead worship and see smiling faces, lips moving and actual music coming forth!  When I glanced up at the congregation, I felt such joy as Tammie was seated, leaning on her walker, raising her hands in praise.  I loved seeing Cliff and Cheryl, standing and holding hands as they sang.  A few people were wearing masks.  We didn't shake hands or exchange hugs as we would normally greet one another.
But, it was wonderful to feel like it was a normal Sunday!
     Usually we do a BBQ for the fathers.  But we made special gift bags and gave each dad a Tim's card. For those who didn't attend the service, some of our leadership delivered the gifts to them at home.
     I didn't expect to feel emotional today.  I was sharing a few thoughts and Scriptures on our awesome God and loving heavenly Father. Tying this to our fathers and how they are human while our God never changes...somehow I just missed my dad today!
     This afternoon was really nice, having Daniel and Caylea here to give their dad gifts and a funny card!  Mark and Amy called and Walter opened the gift they had sent - a Blue Ray DVD set of the original Star Trek movies.  Then we played a couple rounds of Ladder Ball in the backyard.
     We ordered pizza and dry ribs at Walter's request and ate in front of the Star Trek "Wrath of Khan."  Sure hope he knows how much his family loves and appreciates him!  'Cuz we do!
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!