How do you know if you are in love?

Spring time is often when love stirs.  The birds are singing and calling out for their mates. Something about the bright, warm days and extended daylight into the evenings draws couples together.  But the age-old question is how do I know if this is the real thing, if this love is forever?

I'm not an expert, but I do have some experience.  I've seen what love is not; I've felt when a heart is broken.  I've also been on the receiving end of love that is undeserved.  Wow!  There is nothing more humbling than to be loved when I've behaved in a very un-loveable way! 

Real love is described in the Bible in a few places.  1 Corinthians 13 is the classic passage read at many weddings.  Let's see what the Apostle Paul defined as real love.

"Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."  (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a)

This kind of description is all about actions, attitudes and sacrifice.  Paul doesn't use emotive terms.  He avoids words that would be about feelings or about how that other person stirs my heart, gives me goose bumps or is all-consuming of my thoughts.   In my teenage years, what I thought might have been love was really feelings that were based on my own thoughts, emotional responses and physical heart-palpitations!  The feelings would come and go.  My own immaturity and self-doubt would affect whether I thought I was in love, or not.  I guess you could say those attractions were not very deep, more aptly identified as a "crush."  At the time, that was all I was capable of and I give myself grace now as I look back.  I've learned what real love looks like and that God is the Author of genuine and lasting love.

I remember being in a Bible study where the leader gave us an exercise:  to replace the word "love" in the 1 Corinthians 13 passage with the name "Jesus."  That was incredible!  Putting Jesus' name in those verses made the description come alive!  I could move the concepts of patience, kindness, trust and hope into a personal relationship that I could hold on to; it became not a definition but a tangible reality.  And to declare "Jesus never fails" transformed my understanding.  I had seen love that failed, human relationships that broke down and family dynamics that felt unstable and unsafe.  But when Jesus promised to never fail me, I began to grow.  I could learn to trust.

John 14:15 and 21 are verses that I've also had to wrestle with in learning about true love.  "If you love Me, keep my commands."  (verse 15)  This seems demanding at first glance.  Jesus sounds like a tyrant, requiring obedience and rule-keeping in order to prove love!  That is the danger of taking one verse and not looking at the context in which Jesus spoke.  Taking Chapter 14 as a whole, we see that Jesus is saying good-bye to His closest companions, the Disciples.  He is giving His most important teachings as He prepares them for His death, His departure from earth.  So His final words are explaining that "I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through Me."  (verse 6)  When Phillip says, " Lord, show us the Father and that will be enough for us" (verse 8), Jesus must further explain how the relationship with the Father and Jesus, the Son actually works.  "Anyone who has seen Me has seen the Father."  (verse 9)  

In essence, Jesus claims to be God, saying that He and the Father are one and the same.  So if He gives us a command, it is with the authority of the Father.  Jesus spoke the very words of His Father.  But here is the catch: Jesus is not asking for obedience-on-demand, Master and slave relationship.  He is saying, "If you love Me..." with the invitation and expectation that the relationship will be based in love.  Now, let's jump down to verse 21 which will shed even more light on this statement:  "Anyone who loves Me will obey my teaching.  My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them." Jesus takes the relationship even further; He says the Father will love us as we obey Jesus' teaching.  Not only that, but God Himself, in the form of the Holy Spirit (verses 17, 25 & 26) will make His home in them, in us!  Although the Holy Spirit came upon people (ie, prophets) in the Old Testament, the concept of dwelling right within a person was novel and unbelievable!  

To illustrate, I think of my growing up years and my mom teaching me how to do certain tasks.  She would explain, possibly demonstrate how she wanted me to wipe a counter or chop up vegetables, but then she would also supervise me while I took over the task.  With her watchful eye on me, I would try to perform up to the standard and obey her commands.  Now, 50+ years later, I still hear her voice in my head when I try to do a job too quickly and not be thorough - almost like she is right there with me!  Even moreso is the Holy Spirit in my heart, reminding me of Jesus' instructions and commands.  Beyond just obeying because I feel guilty, I want to obey because I want to show my love and respect. 

Now sometimes I admit, I didn't want to live up to the standard my mom set for cleaning or whatever the task may be.  As an adult, I would feel the burden to keep up with her expectations in my own housekeeping.  But I know that taking pride in a job well done comes with maturity and I soon learned to do the extra things because of my own desire, not just the voice of my mother!  The same is in our relationship with Jesus.  1 John 5:3 expresses my heart's desire in pleasing the Lord.  "In fact, this is love for God:  to keep His commands.  And His commands are not burdensome..." Our Father knows that in our natural selves, we want to take shortcuts, do things the easy way.  We find rules and commands burdensome.  But if we truly want to experience intimacy and closeness with the Father, through Jesus Christ, by His Holy Spirit dwelling in us, then doing what He says will give us that freedom and joy.  

"If you love Me..."  Yes, Lord, I love You!  I will obey Your commands!

 

 

Good-byes are difficult.  As a child, I hated saying good-bye and leaving an event, leaving people behind.  I remember when Walter would come to visit me and then on Sunday evening he would leave for Bible school.  Sadness and loneliness would leave an empty place in my soul. 

Jesus was spending one last Passover meal with His twelve disciples, His closest friends and brothers.  Special arrangements were made and they gathered to celebrate.  Although Jesus had explained to them He would be leaving, these men who had spent three years with Him, didn't understand. 

John, one of the disciples who wrote the Gospel of John, recorded some unique and intimate moments that he and the other eleven men experienced together.  Chapter 13 is the only place in the Bible where we can glimpse a special event just prior to the Passover meal.  

"Before the Passover celebration, Jesus knew that His hour had come to leave this world. and return to His Father.  He had loved them during His ministry on earth, and now He loved them to the very end." (verse 1)

As Jesus is preparing to say good-bye to His disciples and leave them with His final words, it is really without words that He imparts the most meaningful impact.  In seven actions, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, speaks to His followers then and to us as His followers now:

1.  "So He got up..." (verse 4a)  Jesus intentionally got up from the table where they were reclining and eating the Passover.  He was the leader, a rabbi, and should expect to be served and waited upon throughout the meal.  By standing up, Jesus was disrupting the order of things and captured the attention of the twelve.

In Genesis 4:8, we read how Cain and Abel were in the fields together.  With intention, premeditation, Cain got up, rose up and acted violently towards his brother.   "Cain spoke to Abel his brother.^[a] And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him."  While Cain got up with evil in his heart, by contrast, Jesus stood up with pure love.  

2.  "...took off His robe..." (verse 4b)  To our way of thinking, we might wonder if Jesus was too warm in the crowded room.  Or maybe, He wanted  more freedom of movement during the meal.  What is the significance of His removing the robe, His outer garment, while indoors?

If we read Philippians 2:6-8  ^"... who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,^{[b] 7} but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant,^[c] being born in the likeness of men. ⁸ And being found in human form, he humbled Himself..."  When Jesus submitted Himself to the plan for salvation, this involved Him laying aside and stripping off His divinity to become a man.  He willingly chose to remove and refuse to function with His full divine nature, knowledge and power in order to become a human being.  Taking off the robe was a symbol of His humility and submission to the Father.

Not only did He remove the robe but His garment was gambled for by the Roman soldiers while He hung on the cross.  Truly Jesus allowed Himself to be completely stripped of all self, our greatest human battle, and fully surrender to powerlessness as a lamb. 

3.  "...wrapped a towel around His waist..."  (verse 4c)  To further humble Himself, Jesus took a towel, a symbol of a servant, and wrapped it around His waist.  This action clearly identified Him as the lowest and least among them.  The role of a household servant was to do the most menial and disgusting tasks for the master and his family.  Cooking, cleaning, bathing and bathroom duties were among these tasks.  For Jesus to lower Himself to wash the dirty, smelly, unpleasant feet of the disciples was  not only unacceptable but shocking for these Jewish men to comprehend!

Again in Philippians 2, Paul writes that Jesus..."emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant..." and then proceeded to serve His friends with this simple and humble act.

4.  "...and poured water into a basin."  (verse 5a) Jesus did not symbolically tie the towel around Himself; He actually poured out the water for washing into the appropriate basin.  Jesus did not love with words and speech only, but with actions and truth. (1 John 3:18) His pouring the water showed the extent to which He poured out His very life for the disciples, and for all of us.  

In John 4:14 and later in John 7:37-39, Jesus used the imagery of water as life-giving, eternal, refreshing.  Every human being can relate to thirst and that basic need for water.  We all understand the need for cleansing outwardly but most importantly, inwardly and spiritually.  By this action, Jesus showed that He was willing to pour out His all and get involved in our filth and mess to save us.

5.  "Then He began to wash the disciples' feet..."  (verse 5b) With His own hands, Jesus washed the dry, cracked, dusty and dirty feet of these men, who walked everywhere in the deserts of Israel.  His holy hands touched the flesh of sinful men.  How many others did Jesus touch to bring healing, love, acceptance and freedom?  He touched lepers, adulterers, tax collectors, lame and  blind  to deliver them from their affirmities and afflictions.  

Ephesians 5:26 tells us of the significance of the cleansing work of Christ.  " that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word..."  As Jesus demonstrated with this physical act of washing, He would provide the spiritual cleansing we all need from sin and its effects.  In 1 Corinthians 6:11, we also see this cleansing at work to free us from guilt, shame and condemnation to declare us holy and righteous.  " And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God."  

6.  "...drying them with the towel He had around Him..." (verse 5c)  In another version of the Scriptures, the term "wiping" is used, indicating the action of removing the dirt and the water and leaving the objects dry and clean.  Jesus fully removes our sins and the reminder is that " as far as the east is from the west,  so far does He remove our transgressions from us."  (Psalm 103:12)  

Another image is that Jesus will one day " He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”  (Revelation 21:4)  The gentle hand of our Saviour will comfort us and wipe our tears, removing sorrow and grieving as we celebrate our salvation with Him in eternity.

7.  "After washing their feet, He put on His robe again and sat down..."  (verse 12a)  As Jesus completed the life lesson of humility and servanthood to His disciples, He put on His robe once again and sat down.  Such a beautiful picture that He is Lord.  That He will once again be exalted and glorified as the King.  The His work would soon be finished. The cross was still ahead of Him but He demonstrated that He would sit at the right hand of His Father and have completed His assignment on earth.  

Revelation 3:21 "The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne."  

What an incredible picture of the gentle and loving Messiah, our Jesus, who would humble Himself and wash our feet?  

Jesus' lesson was that we do the same.  

What will that look like for me to wash others' feet?  Who am I to serve today, this week?

 

 

 

 

 A lot happens in a week!

Last Wednesday and Thursday we were sniffling and sipping tea.  One week later, we are putting up bird feeders and listening to the robins and meadowlarks!  A lot happened in between, as well.

We drove to Edmonton last Friday to celebrate Walter's Mom's 90th birthday.  It was an uneventful drive from Regina through Saskatoon and then a stop in Lloydminster to switch drivers.   As the prairie-born kids of the 1960's, we of course took note of the snow still in fields and ditches, counted coyotes and looked for other wildlife.  We made it to Sherwood Park, where we stayed at the Best Western, a favourite stop when we travel to the Edmonton area.  

There are a few eating establishments near the hotel, and we walked towards the strip mall at the other end of the parking lot.  We discovered a little restaurant that looked reasonable, walked inside and saw just a couple of tables occupied.  As we stepped up to the counter, the older gentleman wearing an apron asked, "What can I get for ya'?"  The menu was posted above the pass-through window to the kitchen, and we stared at the options.  

"What do you recommend?"  Walter replied.  "The dinner plate...and here are your meats to choose from."

I ordered a one meat dinner plate (brisket) with coleslaw and  cornbread.  Walter ordered the brisket, smoked turkey and mashed potatoes with cornbread.  We had barely sat down at one of the empty tables and the man brought us our tray of generously loaded plates.  Wow!  If you are ever in Sherwood Park, look up "That BBQ Place" and you won't be disappointed.  

It was nice to relax at the hotel, watch some World Men's Curling on TV and be sleeping before 11 pm.  The next morning was leisurely, as the birthday party wouldn't start until 12:30 pm.  We had enough time to stop by a store to find flowers and fruit trays for the lunch.  Walter found a carwash for a much needed rinse off of our white vehicle that was showing signs of winter/spring road slush.

We arrived in northwest Edmonton as a few others were pulling up.  Walter's sister Marilee and her husband Robert were the hosts.  They had tables set up and Easter decorations for the occasion.  It was a loud, fun, tasty and busy birthday party with all the 5 children attending, only two grandchildren missing and all 8 great-grands present!  Lasagna, garlic bread and salad was served along with veggie trays, deviled eggs and potato salad. Rachel, one of the grandkids, had made a beautiful white cake with strawberry layers and cream cheese icing!  We all sang "Happy Birthday", with a cute little voice that echoed "and many more!"  Tessa, 4-years old, blushed when everyone laughed.  

Grandma Selke made a nice speech to thank everyone for coming. She quoted the verse from Psalms "This is the day the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it."  And she had everyone wiping tears as she mentioned how we never know if we will all be together again but we have the hope of meeting in heaven one day!  

The cake was served and more visiting continued. The sun was shining and kids wanted to play outside.  I volunteered to take Kaira, our 1 1/2 year old granddaughter outside and she had a ball playing with the other little cousins.  Some of the guys visited on the deck.  The parents of the little ones took turns letting Grandma see them and interact one on one.  Special times.

After group pictures and family combinations were taken, some clean up and more chatting ensued.  By 3:30, some folks that had to drive said their good-byes.  I was glad that our kids stayed a while longer as they don't get out to Edmonton often.   We were almost the last to leave.  And it had been a great day.

Back at the hotel, we brought in a few items for a light supper in our room.  We were peopled out, but it had been a wonderful party.

Sunday morning we hit the road by 9:30 in order to get back home.  Mark, Amy and Kaira were staying overnight on their way back to Manitoba.  So we wanted to get there before they did and unload our stuff.  We timed the pizza delivery for their arrival and it worked out perfectly.  It was so fun to have Kaira come to us right away, and lead us by the hand to the toy box downstairs!  

And today, we're packing again for another adventure.  You won't want to miss this!

                                                         Klara Selke's 80th birthday

                                                                     90th birthday

 

 He woke up with a very sore and scratchy throat.  His sinuses pounded and even his eyes felt sore and aching.  Sitting up in bed, he tried to clear away the cobwebs and drowsiness.  He could hear the footsteps of his wife approaching the bedroom door.  What was he going to tell her about their plans for the day?

Having been up since before sunrise, his wife had tried not to disturb her sleeping husband.  Tiptoeing down to the kitchen she prepared her coffee and grabbed a book she had been looking forward to reading.  She watched the sky as it grew lighter.  The reflection of sunlight on the oil refinery made it appear more glorious than it actually was, giving it a glow that belied the often smelly and smokey institution that it is!

The hands of the clock had spun around to 8 am, the time they had planned to leave the house this morning.  In one hour, the World Men's curling draw was beginning in Moose Jaw - a game between Canada's team and China, the two top teams of the championship so far.  The couple loved the game of curling and were quite excited that such an important event was hosted so close to their home.  She laid aside her book and quietly walked to the bedroom to check on her husband.

She could tell with one look that this man had a "man-cold" and he appeared miserable!  "Want a hot drink?"  She stepped to his side of the bed, feeling his forehead for a fever and gathering the used tissues piled on his nightstand.

"Yeah, I guess so."  He moaned, coughing and then reaching for another tissue.  "I don't think I'll be able to go anywhere today."  

"No, I don't think so either!"  And the woman left the room to bring a hot drink and some vitamins for her ailing husband.

Disappointment.

The curling game isn't that important, the wife said to herself.  We can watch it on television.   She leaned on the counter as the Keurig sputtered and gurgled to produce a steaming mug of coffee.  Her heart fought with her mind, recalculating the plans for the day that they had made.  Disappointment settled in and threatened to cast a shadow on her thoughts.

It was a perfect day for a short road trip.  But to be honest, they were going to be driving the following day to Edmonton for Grandma's 90th birthday celebration on the weekend.  Was it worth pushing their health when rest was really the answer?

As she took the mug of coffee, she resolved not to be heavy over this failed outing. She nudged the bedroom door open, smiling and handing the drink to the man.  He smiled weakly.  "Sorry," he croaked.

"Hey, I'll get the TV set up on TSN and we can relax in our recliners.  Prime seats, hot coffee and snacks.  It'll be fun!"

*****

Of course, you know this couple is me and Walter!  We've got a busy weekend ahead of us and don't want to miss his mother's birthday party.  So we'll rest, pump the liquids and vitamins and hope for the best!

As I write, Canada is up 4-2 over China in the 5th end.  God knows our needs, has His divine hand on our plans and will guide us in the big and little things!  I'm so glad we can trust our heavenly Father and even give Him our disappointments.  

There will likely be more curling competitions we can watch in person, more opportunities to enjoy one of our favourite pass times.  God is so good!  We live a blessed life and have so much to be thankful for - why let a "man-cold" rob our joy?

Have a good day, everyone!