The notation on the calendar says "PET Scan Saskatoon 1 pm".
Today, Caylea is traveling from Nipawin with her boyfriend, Kevin, to Saskatoon for the scan she is booked for by the cancer clinic.  At first I assumed her dad and I would be taking her up for the procedure.  But as plans took shape, Kevin would be preaching at a church in Nipawin on Sunday and Caylea would accompany him up there.  They have lots of options for people to stay with, and then they would proceed to Saskatoon for the scan and come back to Regina Monday night.
This cancer journey is hard.  It is filled with unknowns, questions, fears, challenges and myths.
It would be easier if it were happening to me!
But another part of this journey as it is happening to my daughter, is the "letting go".
A PET scan is short for Positron Emission Tomography.  Caylea will at first be given an IV of radiactive sugar, that will show up in the areas of her body where the cells are more active or have a higher" metabolic activity" than normal.  ( I am taking this information directly from the Saskatoon Health Region website.)  The doctor here at the Allan Blair Cancer Centre referred her to have this scan before making any declarations of staging the cancer or prescribing treatment.
So as we wait for results, I am learning to let go.
Let go of my desire/need to control and give direction to my daughter's life.
She can drive, make adult plans, sit through a 2-3 hour scan.
She took the information, including phone number, and instructions to prepare for the scan (such as fasting 6 hours before, not to get chilled during the 2 days before the scan).  Kevin is a great driver and navigator - after all, he was the chief driver and navigator for the drama tour team Caylea was on all last fall and winter.  If he brought Caylea back safely from New York City, I think we can trust him to find Saskatoon University Hospital!
At times like these, when a mom just wants to be part of the comforting and supporting, I have to trust that Jesus is all she needs.  I think of the proverb "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." (22:6)  Walter and I have trained Caylea, hopefully instilling in her lifeskills, confidence and faith.  We have pointed her in the direction we thought she would be suited for in life and now we need to let her launch.  I don't think any parent feels they have taught enough, demonstrated enough, lectured enough, prayed enough!
But Jesus is enough.
He is more than enough for this cancer journey.
And maybe the letting go is part of my journey in growing up, too!