Some things this week have made me think:  what is faith, really?
I have been meeting with a retired ministry woman, Charlene, who has agreed to mentor/pray with me.  She had mentioned a book she had just received and been encouraged to read on prayer:  Transforming Prayer by Daniel Henderson.  It has rocked our worlds about how we've been taught to pray, about approaching God in worship and the Word to pray, rather than the more traditional prayer lists.  That's a very general overview.  But we've both been challenged as to our attitude, our formats, our desire to pray as God wills.
This week, we read some about praying with faith.  For several weeks, we have wrestled with the prayers we've prayed for those who are suffering, those who cannot have children or have lost precious children and they seem to go unanswered.  We want to get past the pat answers and seek how to pray for such situations.  What do we pray?  How do we have faith when we're not sure of the content of the prayers we bring to God?  Is the faith blind?
Hebrews 11:1 had me thinking about the Bible's definition of faith.
"Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen."
Being assured of the things hoped for assumes we are asking for things we are certain God will bring about.  Whoah!  That's where the unanswered prayers come in. We must have prayed for things that weren't in God's plan.  So faith isn't just wishful thinking;  it is a conviction!
Another friend was sharing a difficult and emotional family circumstance. Her daughter and son-in-law had prepared and awaited the arrival of an adopted newborn boy.  As the mother waited to give birth and went overdue, she changed her mind and backed out of the adoption.  In keeping her son, she left the adoptive couple childless and grieving!
As the family was grieving together, they began praying again for another birth mother to choose them, but my friend admitted how hard it was to pray!  "Am I praying in faith?"  she asked herself.  Because if we ask and doubt, James declares we are double-minded.
Somehow, in reading the book on prayer, looking up some Scriptures and talking about real-life journeys in prayer.  I think I had an epiphany.
Prayer is surrender.
Ultimately, when we bring requests to our Father, we are surrendering our own ideas, ways, plans, strategies and desires to Him.
So faith is placing ourselves, our complete trust in God's answers, whatever that may be, in His hands.
It doesn't mean we don't ask questions, process our feelings, cry out and communicate our longings!  God invites us to do just that and the psalmists recorded those exact expressions.  But, in the end, submitting all to the Lord and believing His will is best will be the final cry of our heart.
"Not my will but Yours be done." (Garden of Gethsemane)
 "Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done..."(The Lord's Prayer)
The example of such a yearning and heartfelt prayer was that of David when the baby boy - born out of the adulterous relationship he had with Bathsheba - became ill.  David put on sackcloth and ashes, seeking God in fasting and prayer.  He refused food and drink and sleep.  Finally, when the news was brought to him that the child died, then David washed his face, dressed and took a meal.  Did he know the outcome of his prayers as he prayed?  Did he rant and rave when the answer to spare the baby was "No" from God?  It would seem, David knew of God's mercy and dared to pray with faith in that aspect of God's character.  But when God did not answer as David had hoped, he accepted God's way.  He continued to worship and serve his Lord.
Faith is being sure of God.  It is total trust in the unchanging, faithful, unfailing nature of God.  It really has nothing to do with what we are praying about...the requests and results are NOT the point.
I hope I am getting closer to understanding what prayer and faith are...
Lord, teach me!