Saturday afternoon was chilly for a late March day. I turned the gas stove on in the dining room and had the coffee pot ready for our family when they arrived. I wanted our home to be warm and inviting. I knew our time of planning Dad's memorial would be difficult and emotional so at least I could make the atmosphere as pleasant as possible.
Dinah and Lance brought in heavy canvas shopping bags and plunked them down on the floor beside my desk. Then Lance carried in some cans of Coca Cola and set them out on the deck to keep cool. We sat down at the large oak table and chatted.
Then Scott and Jen arrived with salad and dessert for supper. I set the cream pies on the deck and the salad fixings on the kitchen counter.
Paula and her girls arrived last, after the girls' dance lessons were done for the day. They plopped themselves on the stools at the counter and I gave them water and snacks. They looked exhausted! Paula brought in the fruit tray and cheesecake. We would eat well tonight!
Before supper was ready, Dinah brought out the photo albums they had in the canvas bags. The black and white pictures of Dad and Dinah as children gave us cause to smile and wonder. We pointed out the family resemblances, the funny styles of hair and clothing and how young they looked!
Some of the pictures were downright hilarious! In their early days of marriage in the 1980's, they spent time with friends at the Tartan Curling Club, often staying way past closing time. The bathing suit contest Dad had participated in along with old friends we hadn't seen in a while, made us point and roar with laughter! Dinah smiled and giggled, too, remembering the fun and craziness of those days.
We all reminisced at the Christmas and birthday gatherings depicted in the albums. We told stories on each other and Jen especially enjoyed the ones on Scott! The grandkids mostly looked, asked questions and gave us odd glances - these were memories before their time!
It felt so good to laugh. And remember.
After we had eaten our fill of the ham supper plus dessert and coffee, the dishes were cleared and food put away. I brought out my "notes" to give us a starting point for organizing the memorial service and other details. The time we dreaded was now at hand.
Before we began though, Scott and Jen had news to announce: a baby due November 15, 2014. Amid exclamations and congratulations, the family could celebrate new life even as we planned for the loss of Dad and Grandpa. Later I would marvel at how this news set the tone of hopefulness in the light of our sadness. Only God could orchestrate that kind of miracle.
All of us worked through the details and took turns offering to take on the tasks. Flowers, eulogy, display table, music, lunch, interment, family potluck supper to follow...amid a few tears, we got through.
Afterwards, there was a collective sigh of relief.
We all look forward to the celebration of life, but struggle to grieve the loss we feel.
I'm so glad for the gift of both tears and laughter!
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven... a time to weep and a time to laugh..." (Ecclesiastes 3:1 & 4)
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