The last day of the year 2014~
I always get sentimental on New Year's Eve.  All the memories of the past year zoom by like a movie on fast-forward!  How could time fly so fast?  And did I really LIVE those days to their fullest?
The year began with questions for us:  would my Dad regain some health and be moved into Wascana Rehab Centre?  What plans should we cancel and what plans should we postpone until we know what is happening with Dad?  How do we prepare for the next months, year?
We prayed for God to clearly guide us.  And then we went ahead with some of our commitments.  Walter taught a module class in Millar College of the Bible in January.  We booked a two-week trip to the Dominican Republic in the middle of the month.  On our return, it was evident Dad was in his last days, almost like he did hold on until we were back from our trip.  The very next day, he passed away.  We called our children to inform them of Grandpa's passing.  And then we drove to Shaunavon, Saskatchewan, to deliver the news to our son, Daniel, who was curling in the Provincial Men's Tankard.
I know I am writing this in almost newspaper fashion, but I am feeling the lump in my throat, the emotion of those moments. I am also reliving the grace and peace that the Lord gave us, gave me, to live through those terrible yet inevitable experiences!  God was there, a very present help in our time of need.
We moved on through making plans for Dad's memorial to be in April.  Again, the Lord sustained us and enabled us to carry on with our daily realities.  We traveled and booked visits with our Healing Hearts Staff.  We fulfilled our roles and tasks within ministry and somehow we found strength and joy returning.  God was faithful.
God gave me the ability to see the good, to appreciate the love and support of family and our faith community.  I accepted the role of receiver - not the giver - of comfort and condolences.  I learned to feel the grief and realize I don't do sadness very well!
On June 1, we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary by renewing our vows in church that Sunday then having 50+ in our house for a rained out barbecue.  I felt beautiful and blessed as Walter's bride again!  We were showered with cards, gifts and congratulations.  It was such a highlight of the year!  All our children and new daughter-in-law stood with us at our vow ceremony and we long for them to know even more abundance in their lives and marriages.
The summer was spent at our cabin and at two weeks of Bible camp.  We hoped to pace ourselves in order to begin the fall season of ministry with vigor.  Again, we experienced the grace of God to say "No" to some opportunities and "Yes" to others.  Then we celebrated another milestone in our lives: the 20th anniversary of Healing Hearts Ministry in September.  So many significant and emotionally-charged events this past year truly gave us reason to reflect and give thanks to the Lord for all His goodness to us.
The fall was very busy and we saw our schedule almost overlap at times!  Do we need a booking agent?  We just need to coordinate our calendar a little better.  We are still learning...
And now we are after the Christmas season and on the edge of the brand new year ahead.  Where is God's Spirit leading us in 2015?
I praise God for the physical energy and spiritual fortitude He gave us.  When I wondered how we'd make it through, I was never too surprised at my Father's loving care.  He has never failed.
Thank you, friends who read this blog, for your friendship.  I hope this little recap of 2014 in my life can bring hope and spur you on to love and good deeds in Christ for the coming year.
Hebrews 12:2a "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus..."
Psalm 123:1 "I lift up my eyes to You, to You whose throne is in heaven."
Keep looking up; soon He will come into view to take us home! Maybe even this year...

"O Come let us adore Him...Christ the Lord!"
Is it difficult to set aside time to adore Jesus during the holiday season?
We talk about it.
We hear sermons on it.
We sing about it.
Today, this week, let us adore Him.  He is worthy.  He is above all else.  He is supreme.
When I took some quiet time today after several days of people and church and cooking, it felt so refreshing, like a cool glass of pure water!  I simply played my guitar and sang songs that came to mind. I wrote some reflections in my journal.  I meditated on Scripture in Philippians 4:8 and Psalms. God restored my soul by His Spirit as I set my eyes on Jesus Christ.
The Christmas carol above is an invitation to worship.
He is waiting, not demanding, but ever so quietly and patiently waiting for our minds to settle down and our hearts to reach out to Him.  I picture Jesus sitting at the right hand of the Father with a smile on His face.  He is not rushed.  He is eternal.
As I felt His peace and let Him touch my heart, I felt renewed.
I can go on after pouring into my family and the events of Christmas.  I feel filled up once again.
"O Come all ye faithful..."
Let us be faithful in regular and frequent worship!

TRADITION!
Our tradition the past few years is to gather in the dining room Walter built on our home five or six years ago.  We push back the oak table and set the chairs in a circle.  Then Walter chooses someone to read Luke 2, the account of the birth of Jesus.  Another is selected to pray.  And finally one or two of the younger children distributes the gifts from under the tree to the appropriate recipients.
Luke chapter 2 is the passage read in the Christmas Pageant of the familiar "Charlie Brown's Christmas" and where I probably first heard the Gospel as a child.
This year, I decided to read the Matthew account of Jesus' birth.  It is much shorter. So I read smaller portions and savoured the story.
Today is Boxing Day, so again, traditionally I read the account in Luke where after Jesus was born, Joseph and Mary took Him to the temple and gave the prescribed offerings for their firstborn.  At the temple, they encountered two faithful saints who blessed and confirmed their special Son as sent from God.
Instead, I was reading the verses in Matthew where John the Baptist was preaching and baptizing at the Jordan River.  Jesus was already a man and about to launch into public ministry.  He came to John at the river and asked to be baptized.  Baptized?
The radical prophet recognized Jesus and immediately protested Jesus' request.  Humbly, John says,
I am not worthy!  I should be baptized by You!"  But, Jesus, in perfect fulfillment of all God's will, submits to the protocol of repentance and baptism.  And God does something so unexpected and unprecedented!
As Jesus submits to the waters of the Jordan, and validates John's ministry of preparing the way for the Messiah, it is like John passes the baton of ministry to Jesus the Christ.  The heavens open.  (In another Gospel account, the wording is "the heavens were torn open.")  The Almighty Himself speaks from His throne, announcing His Son!  Before Jesus even preached His first sermon, healed His first blind man or called His first disciple, God was affirming His Chosen One.
I can hardly grasp the import of God's words.  He is well pleased with His Son.  He loves Him.  He blesses His Son with a heavenly pronouncement as He is about to move into the next three years of travel, homelessness, spiritual warfare and intense impact on the Twelve.  God knew that in His Son's humanity, Jesus would need these life-giving words to sustain Him.
How much more do WE need to hear, believe and absorb God's affirmation for us?
In Christ, we are adopted into His family.  I am the daughter of the Most High.  In Christ, I am already accepted.  I do not have to prove my place or position by performance.  In Christ, I have a ministry.  I am chosen to have relationships, gifts and tasks to build the kingdom with Him.
Just as the Holy Spirit came upon Jesus like a dove, we also have the filling of that same Spirit for our lives, our journey of healing, our ministry, our trials.  Jesus was the example and we can follow Him without fear.  He has already gone this way before...
It might not seem like a very Christmas-y message but this IS what Jesus came to earth through the manger in Bethlehem to do:  set apart and send us out just as He went forth with God's approval to share the "Good News of great joy."
HAPPY BOXING DAY!

The eaves are dripping and the blue sky gives the appearance of spring...
but it is December 21 and we just came home from our 20th Christmas program at Healing Hearts!
The very first program and Christmas dinner we held with our new ministry was held at the Albert Scott Community Centre.  We had a good turnout of folks, some young families and guests came and I believe there were about 50 people in total.  I don't remember the songs we sang or what Walter preached.  I had a very small repertoire of music I could play on my guitar back then-mainly in

the key of D!  Most certainly Walter gave a rousing message from Luke 2 on the Christmas story and a Gospel presentation for the audience who was likely about half young believers and half non-church goers.
What sticks out in my memory is that about half hour before we planned to have our meal, as our service was nearly over, strangers began carrying in aluminum pans and various boxes into the community centre's kitchen.  They looked as confused as we were, as we had turkey and pots of potatoes on the stove.
Unfortunately, we had not booked the centre for longer than our usual Sunday time slot.  And the community centre coordinator didn't inform us of another rental group to follow us.  So, we had to close our service and haul the food down the block to our house.  What else could we do?  All kinds of people walked carrying pots, roasters and all the paper plates and cups up the street to 1372 Montague Street. We set up a line in our dining room and had a coffee pot perking away in the kitchen.  My Dad and stepmom were leaning against the counters in the kitchen, completely blown away that we would have all these people in our home.  Some were street people and definitely low income/welfare recipients.  But they were all grateful, polite and helpful as we made do for our first ever Christmas dinner!
People were in every corner on the main floor and in the basement, including sitting on the stairs holding their plates in their laps!  We had plenty of food and in the end my house was cleaner than when we started.  We have some pictures to prove it in an old photo album somewhere...
Today, we had two guitarists, a bass player, keyboard player (my daughter) and drummer, plus three vocalists.  We had carols projected on the wall, a wooden nativity scene and special lighting for the holiday atmosphere.  About 100 or more came to the program and turkey dinner in our very own building, over half paid for through the congregation itself.
Several little Sunday School children played the parts in the Christmas play with my son, Daniel, being the Narrator.  Vivian, also at the first Christmas dinner, was in charge of the meal today and had things running very smoothly in the kitchen.  With many families and individuals participating and contributing, Walter and I were able to sit and enjoy the service.  I sang and played a special number (with Caylea on keyboard) and another staff daughter, Kezziah, played "Silent Night" on the xylophone.
Sometimes, it is good to remember the humble beginnings of our ministry so that the Lord is glorified in the amazing program we enjoyed today.  Thank You, Lord Jesus, for this occasion of Your birth, that we may celebrate our salvation.  In twenty years, You have been our Joy each Christmas!

I'm not sure what I become more excited about:  Christmas itself or the arrival of my kids for the holidays!
Caylea comes home this afternoon, and I find myself thinking about what she'd like for supper and if she'll want to get the Christmas Tree right away.  I made sure her presents are wrapped and labeled so she can shake and poke at them when she gets home.
This year will be the first that our oldest, Mark, will not be home for Christmas Day.  It is only fair that he and Amy spend Christmas with her family and we totally understand what it is like to alternate and split the time with various sides of our families!  But we have wonderful plans for fun activities when they come home-going to "The Hobbit" for the third holiday in a row and viewing "Corner Gas" on DVD.  And hopefully opportunity to throw rocks on the curling ice!
Daniel lives at home, so we are blessed with his presence on a regular basis.  But we are thankful that we can enjoy him and be part of his life and journey and I can't imagine what it would be like for Daniel to be away from home...I'm sure that day is coming soon!
So today, I have a list of cleaning chores to be done and boxes of ornaments to be brought up from the crawl space.  Maybe some more baking.
Each day brings us a little closer to that big celebration and the anticipation is building.  As I make preparations for our family to gather in our home, Lord, prepare my heart for YOU!  May my mind be set on things above and my heart be full of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Bless my home and my heart with the garlands of Your grace.
And watch over our kids as they travel home...

This morning I am worship leading for the third Sunday of Advent.  "Joy" is the theme as we light the candle and contemplate the coming of Jesus our Saviour 2,000 years ago.  A reading will be prepared for us to share, but I wanted to take some time to do my own contemplating on joy and what it means to me at Christmas.
In light of the historical context of Israel and the little nation known as Judea, life was not abounding in happiness and prosperity for God's people.  Oppression by Rome, economic depression, fear, evil pervaded the area with darkness.  Although perhaps pockets of joy and celebration would be experienced in Jewish communities and homes, each likely sensed an overall sense of gloom.  The people of God were not so "chosen" anymore.  They must have felt forgotten and afflicted.  Hopeless.
Into this scene arrives an angel in a shepherds' field.
"An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them and they were terrified."  (Luke 2:9)
Could this startling unearthly visitation be a good thing?  Was it a divine judgment?
"But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid.  I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people." (verse 10)
How those shepherds must have needed some good news!  They were likely some of the most oppressed, poverty-stricken and forgotten in society. Who cared about them and their lot in life?
"Today in the city of David a Saviour has been born to you; He is Christ the Lord."  (verse 11)
It seems strange that God's celestial servant would be communicating the most profound theological and prophetic pronouncement ever to nameless shepherds.  How could this impact the world if only sheep-herders knew about the Messiah's arrival?
But the seeds of joy were planted in their hearts and they were stirred to go to Bethlehem and "see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about." (verse 15b)  They hurried off and did find the stable with the baby lying in a manger.  It was true!
"When they had seen Him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child...The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God..."  (verses 17 & 20a)
This does not sound like the behaviour of depressed and dejected shepherds; this is the work of excitement, enthusiasm, hope, JOY!  This good news was to be spread!  And I'm sure as they returned to their fields, they weren't quiet in their "glorifying and praising" either!
Can we totally relate to this story?  Are we afflicted with darkness and depression?  Even as believers in Jesus Christ, knowing the story and having received His gift of eternal life, we can lose sight of the simple truth:  Jesus came to save sinners and to deliver us from the evil one.  He has come and defeated death and hell.  For those who are bowing under the weight of sin and discouragement, we may have forgotten that God has already made a way for us to be free!
We can't really know the freedom and release until we have experienced the afflictions.  I've been learning some about this as I've been reading "Streams in the Desert"  to recognize God's work through difficulties and trials.  We truly see the light only when we've know the darkness personally.
But how sweet is that JOY when we receive the wonderful good news of the angel and the shepherds: A Saviour has been born to us; He is Christ the Lord.
"...then you will find your joy in the Lord."  (Isaiah 58:14)
  

"ARE YOU ALL READY FOR CHRISTMAS?"
I know it is a common conversation starter but I really don't want to hear this again!!!
Well, it really shouldn't bother me.  It could be a spiritual conversation starter if I used the opportunity the right way.
What if the next time I am asked that question, I answer with:
"Yes, I am.  I have put my faith in Jesus Christ as Saviour and trusted my whole life to Him.  So I am ready to worship Him and celebrate His first appearance on the earth.  By the way, did you know He's coming again?  We need to be ready for His 2nd coming..."
This weekend is my "Christmas Blitz" while Walter and our son Daniel are gone to an NFL game in Kansas City.  I am going to get ready for the big event without any interruptions or cleaning/meal preparation to delay my progress.  I am quite looking forward to some "me time", too, just to relax and set my own pace.  And get my "festive on"!
When the next person asks me that dreaded question, I won't be so testy or glib in my answer.  I will have a response that maybe can get someone thinking about their own preparations for this special and holy season.

THROW BACK FRIDAY-1997?

Yes,  the Christmas season has arrived!
How can I tell?
The local light rock FM radio station is playing all festive/all the time.
The CP Rail Holiday Train rolled past our home on the weekend.
We received our first Christmas card in the mail.
Two candles have already been lit for the Advent Sundays.
Am I ready?
Now that our ministry trips are finished for the fall, I can settle in to my Christmas preparations. First step: put away the Thanksgiving decorations!  Next, begin the big task of writing and sending cards to family and supporters of our ministry.  I've already made a shopping list on my I Phone (quite proud of myself on that!).  In essence, I have progressed with preparations and am not as behind as I thought I was!
A couple mornings ago, I realized that although signs of Christmas were all around me and I had already participated in a couple holiday parties, my heart wasn't there yet.  So I turned to Matthew chapter 1 for my quiet time and intentionally focused on the birth of Christ.  I was struck with the uniqueness of the immaculate conception once again.  NO ONE else in history can claim to have been conceived by the Holy Spirit in an unmarried woman's body.
I was also impressed again by the geneology in chapter 1 that named five women specifically.  Each one was noted because they were not Jewish or became pregnant in an unusual circumstance.  I am fascinated that the Lord Jesus, Son of God, had a less than perfect human ancestry.  If He was born purely, how could He be from such a dysfunctional background?
But this all can make sense if I believe in a sovereign and omnipotent God.  Is it difficult for Him to send His Son through a young woman's virgin womb?  Or is it difficult for Him to bring all the prophesies to fulfill the promises to Abraham, Judah, David, Nazareth, Bethlehem and yes, even Mary and Joseph?  God can weave His will through the wills of humanity and bring history and future together in perfection.
Yes, the Christmas season has arrived.  And I am making my heart ready for the wonders and unfathomable mysteries of Jesus, the Christ, Son of God and Son of man...

I am usually reading more than one thing for my devotions.  Right now, I am in Psalm 119.  I have a devotional book "Streams in the Desert" on the go but forgot it at home while we're here in Calgary.  I'm also reading Ezra as I make my way through the Old Testament.  So I know I promised some thoughts on Ezra; it seems God was speaking to me lately through the Psalms and so I'll go with it!
I enjoy the portions of this psalm as they are divided into octets, verses of 8 in a group.  Sometimes the thoughts seem random.  Sometimes they are repetitive.  But almost every verse is speaking about God's Word, His law, His decrees and His promises.
This morning, I read verses 65-72.
The two verses that had a similar theme caught my attention and seemed to be speaking to a situation we are part of at this time.  I can't share details.  But if you are reading this, the details don't really matter to you.  What God is teaching me and you on a personal level is what counts!
"Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey Your Word...
"It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn Your decrees."
(Verses 67 & 71)
Afflictions.  Nobody wants to experience them but we all do.
A definition is "a state of pain, distress, or grief, misery" and some synonyms are "mishap, trouble, calamity, tribulation".
"Affliction suggests not only a serious misfortune but the emotional effect of this."
(Dictionary.com)
I get the impression these hard times are not necessarily something we bring on ourselves, but difficulties that happen to us.  Like a disease, a disaster or hardship.  But even if we are the cause of our own difficulty, maybe consequences for our own foolishness or mistakes, the effect is a physical and probably an emotional challenge that we must deal with somehow.
And that is the crux of the matter:  how we deal with the affliction.
The psalmist recognized something about himself-he had been prone to go astray (verse 67a).  In our natural selves, we do tend to go our own way, do our own thing.  Unless someone or something intervenes, we are very self-focused and do not automatically do right.  What the affliction did for the psalm-writer was to teach him to obey God's Word.  Somehow in his foolish wanderings, he realized God's ways were far better and He learned obedience.
In the second verse about affliction, the psalmist is reflecting an attitude lesson.  Do we enjoy affliction?  Do we not think it is something bad happening to us?  But in verse 71, the author is declaring "It was good for me to be afflicted..."  What?  Instead of complaining about the hard times and even blaming someone-God- we read how the affliction was beneficial for him.  How?
This psalmist was able to learn God's decrees.  The commandments made more sense in light of distressing circumstances.  God's loving and kind and merciful character comes through to us when we invite Him in to our problems and learn to trust Him as our guide.
Another attitude I pick up from this passage of Scripture is thankfulness.  To acknowledge God's goodness through a trial is the basis of being thankful.  We can express gratefulness for God allowing us to grow and learn through the life lessons of affliction.  We can praise Him for His ways being good for us and His wisdom being superior to ours.
I can't help but think of other passages that teach the same lessons.  Romans 5: 3-5
"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us."
We can rejoice in suffering because God is doing something productive with it:  developing our  character.  As disciples of Jesus, we won't grow unless we are forced to change.  And one of God's most effective tools for growth and change is tribulation and suffering.  If I can see a purpose in something, then I can get through it with hope for something positive resulting.  It feels like it was worth it!
The image of the Holy spirit being poured out like oil into our hearts gives me even more hope that the trial is being smoothed and cushioned by His love.  He is not a harsh Teacher.  The pain we feel in affliction, whether physical and/or emotional, is more bearable when we know He loves us and has our good in mind.
I can somehow accept this for myself and God's grace is sufficient for the struggles I am having personally.  It is quite another thing to watch someone we love going through a season of suffering and feel so helpless.  I am learning that to interfere with God's ways in another person's life can be damaging and not helpful to their growth.  In fact, it may slow down His process and they will have to go through more difficulties in order to learn what God was teaching.
2 Peter came to mind as I was meditating on this.  "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness."  What a beautiful promise when we are feeling stressed by our reality!  Peter then elaborates as to our part in participating in the divine nature, the transforming of our lives into the character of Jesus our Lord.  Verses 5 to 8  lists the qualities we can "add to your faith".  There is an element of cooperation in the sanctifying work of God that we disciples need to contribute.  We can add goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness and love.  Jesus was all of these things.  He lived them out.  Peter saw and experienced this first-hand.  Peter also experienced this character transformation personally.  He knew Jesus in the earthly relational sense; he also wanted to know Jesus more and more on a heart level that could change him from the sinful fisherman he was to the powerful preacher he became!  We can choose to develop these qualities, which are amazingly similar to the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5 as listed by Paul.  (By the way, in both Peter's letters, he is writing to believers who were being persecuted and confused by false teachers.  He is saying these truths to those suffering through affliction.)
I think I am done rambling now on this subject.
But I'm not done learning.
Lord, teach me Your decrees!